|
Birth Control method for women
|
|
Topic Started: Nov 10 2010, 01:23 AM (9,087 Views)
|
|
Amon Ra
|
Nov 15 2010, 02:55 AM
Post #91
|
|
- Posts:
- 504
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #637
- Joined:
- Sep 12, 2010
|
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:39 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:28 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:17 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:10 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 01:57 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 01:51 AM
What about foster/adopted single parents? Isn't having atleast one loving parent better than none at all? I don't think a woman opting for artificial insemination is selfish. A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them. Most women hope to bear children, however many aren't blessed to do so. & Teenagers are kids...we all did stupid shit before contemplating the consequences when we were younger.
Adoption is very tough, as I am very pro adoption. Because our foster care system is in shambles and failing our children, I would say that a single woman adopting is definitely a better scenario. However, many older children who want to be adopted specifically ask and yearn for a father in a two parent household. Artificial insemination is completely selfish for single women, in my opinion. Teenagers and kids shouldn't even be mothers to begin with. "Stupid shit with consequences" is one thing, making another life (possibly on purpose) is far beyond a "consequence".
Dumb is dumb sweetie. 'Stupid shit' is teens having pre-marital (and many times protected) sex. & many of these teens have a mother and a father to help them through their life lesson. Let's not pretend that we didn't partake in that (sex) when we were teens; we just didn't get pregnant. So adoption is acceptable, but not artificial insemination? lol Most women I know want children, and it's disheartening to hear a woman who physically cannot. She shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent. Some of the strongest and respected people I know (or read about) are products of single parent homes.... I'd much rather a child have ONE responsible parent, than TWO fucked up ones.
You can give every plausible scenario in the world, but I still believe that a two parent home is the most ideal and should be sought after. Women who are single and want children via artificial insemination are only doing so for selfish reasons. They aren't thinking about the best interest of the possible child AT ALL. Adoption is different because a child is already here and without a home. I'm not saying that those from single parent homes aren't good people. I'm saying that those who purposely have children without being in a healthy marriage are selfish. One loving parent is always better than two fucked up parents (research proves this). However, two loving parents is ALWAYS better than one.
We all are entitled to our opinions. Let's hope you are blessed to have children when the time comes. 'Healthy' marriages are almost non-existent or slowly becoming extinct. Most families suffer some sort of dysfunction. lol If you can care for a child (financially, emotionally), no one has the right to judge or deny you that experience. I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain. Parents don't need to live together to successfully raise a child. I know ALOT of fucked up people who had 2 parents in the home....a child's odds aren't necessarily better if raised in a two parent home either.
Honestly, I don't want children. If I ever do, they will be adopted (if I'm married). Healthy marriages does not mean perfect. Obviously, if abuse is occurring, children should not be in that situation either. Also, having children is not simply "an experience" that all women are simply entitled to because that is what they want (how selfish to view raising a child as such!). Raising children is a lifelong dedication. Wow, you've never heard single parents complain? You've never heard children who are products of a single parent home complain? You must not be listening. My boyfriend grew up without his father. Although he dearly loves his mother and they are very close, he feels like he has a void in his life. My Godchildren have no father in their lives. It makes my heart ache to hear them say things like, "Why can't daddy come to my football games?" ?""Where is my daddy?" "Why doesn't daddy live with us Single mothers are also complaining- How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own? etc. etc. etc. I never said never dear...you obviously can't read. lol I really don't hear complaints as much because they have accepted their circumstances and are making things work instead of whining about it. What good does that do? I also know children of two parent homes whose 'daddy' isn't exactly active in the child's life. & your story about your godchildren suggests that they're aware of their father's identity and he is making the choice to be absent. We can't predict our future. & you use the examples "How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own?" Sounds like this woman was under the impression that she would have a partner....Did your boyfriend's mother know she would raise him alone initially? Probably not. Despite him being the product of a single parent home, I can assume you think highly of your boyfriend's character, right? lol Exactly....it's not that important & I also never said a woman was entitled just because. (read again honey bunches) I stated the same requirements a two parent home should adhere to.
|
|
|
| |
|
nevergiveup
|
Nov 15 2010, 03:06 AM
Post #92
|
|
- Posts:
- 6,679
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #5
- Joined:
- Oct 1, 2009
|
There are 18 different forms of birth control on the market for women, so today women have NO EXCUSE for getting pregnant before marraige, life is all about the choices that you make.
|
|
|
| |
|
Amon Ra
|
Nov 15 2010, 03:12 AM
Post #93
|
|
- Posts:
- 504
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #637
- Joined:
- Sep 12, 2010
|
- nevergiveup
- Nov 15 2010, 03:06 AM
There are 18 different forms of birth control on the market for women, so today women have NO EXCUSE for getting pregnant before marraige, life is all about the choices that you make. If a woman wants to raise a child and is capable, but does not want a husband, then that is the CHOICE she made and is probably fine with her decision. Most single mothers I know were in relationships and intended to have support. Shit happens...they got over it and focused on handling their business. Why can't we all just get over the shit, too? lol
|
|
|
| |
|
Elle
|
Nov 15 2010, 03:19 AM
Post #94
|
|
- Posts:
- 2,220
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #208
- Joined:
- Dec 9, 2009
|
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:55 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:39 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:28 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:17 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:10 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 01:57 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 01:51 AM
What about foster/adopted single parents? Isn't having atleast one loving parent better than none at all? I don't think a woman opting for artificial insemination is selfish. A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them. Most women hope to bear children, however many aren't blessed to do so. & Teenagers are kids...we all did stupid shit before contemplating the consequences when we were younger.
Adoption is very tough, as I am very pro adoption. Because our foster care system is in shambles and failing our children, I would say that a single woman adopting is definitely a better scenario. However, many older children who want to be adopted specifically ask and yearn for a father in a two parent household. Artificial insemination is completely selfish for single women, in my opinion. Teenagers and kids shouldn't even be mothers to begin with. "Stupid shit with consequences" is one thing, making another life (possibly on purpose) is far beyond a "consequence".
Dumb is dumb sweetie. 'Stupid shit' is teens having pre-marital (and many times protected) sex. & many of these teens have a mother and a father to help them through their life lesson. Let's not pretend that we didn't partake in that (sex) when we were teens; we just didn't get pregnant. So adoption is acceptable, but not artificial insemination? lol Most women I know want children, and it's disheartening to hear a woman who physically cannot. She shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent. Some of the strongest and respected people I know (or read about) are products of single parent homes.... I'd much rather a child have ONE responsible parent, than TWO fucked up ones.
You can give every plausible scenario in the world, but I still believe that a two parent home is the most ideal and should be sought after. Women who are single and want children via artificial insemination are only doing so for selfish reasons. They aren't thinking about the best interest of the possible child AT ALL. Adoption is different because a child is already here and without a home. I'm not saying that those from single parent homes aren't good people. I'm saying that those who purposely have children without being in a healthy marriage are selfish. One loving parent is always better than two fucked up parents (research proves this). However, two loving parents is ALWAYS better than one.
We all are entitled to our opinions. Let's hope you are blessed to have children when the time comes. 'Healthy' marriages are almost non-existent or slowly becoming extinct. Most families suffer some sort of dysfunction. lol If you can care for a child (financially, emotionally), no one has the right to judge or deny you that experience. I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain. Parents don't need to live together to successfully raise a child. I know ALOT of fucked up people who had 2 parents in the home....a child's odds aren't necessarily better if raised in a two parent home either.
Honestly, I don't want children. If I ever do, they will be adopted (if I'm married). Healthy marriages does not mean perfect. Obviously, if abuse is occurring, children should not be in that situation either. Also, having children is not simply "an experience" that all women are simply entitled to because that is what they want (how selfish to view raising a child as such!). Raising children is a lifelong dedication. Wow, you've never heard single parents complain? You've never heard children who are products of a single parent home complain? You must not be listening. My boyfriend grew up without his father. Although he dearly loves his mother and they are very close, he feels like he has a void in his life. My Godchildren have no father in their lives. It makes my heart ache to hear them say things like, "Why can't daddy come to my football games?" ?""Where is my daddy?" "Why doesn't daddy live with us Single mothers are also complaining- How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own? etc. etc. etc.
I never said never dear...you obviously can't read. lol I really don't hear complaints as much because they have accepted their circumstances and are making things work instead of whining about it. What good does that do? I also know children of two parent homes whose 'daddy' isn't exactly active in the child's life. & your story about your godchildren suggests that they're aware of their father's identity and he is making the choice to be absent. We can't predict our future. & you use the examples "How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own?" Sounds like this woman was under the impression that she would have a partner....Did your boyfriend's mother know she would raise him alone initially? Probably not. Despite him being the product of a single parent home, I can assume you think highly of your boyfriend's character, right? lol Exactly....it's not that important & I also never said a woman was entitled just because. (read again honey bunches) I stated the same requirements a two parent home should adhere to. "I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain." and now it's "I really don't hear complaints as much" Either you do or you don't, the amount is irrelevant. Obviously, I can read. Your chastising is not needed nor helpful.
It's unfair to say that a product of a single parent home is "whining" merely because they yearn for a two parent household. How heartless of you. Obviously they have no choice but to live with their circumstances, but it definitely does not make it the ideal scenario or the scenario to purposely seek out.
They are aware that they have fathers, yes. They are also aware that their fathers can not be in their lives (one is court ordered to stay away, the other in jail). Did my best friend predict this would happen? No. However, could she have done more to prevent this situation? Yes. In the end, her children are suffering for something that they had absolutely no control over.
I can't answer the question about my boyfriend's mother because I don't have the answer. Nevertheless, my boyfriend has suffered due to her decisions.
Again, it isn't the child's fault so why would I judge them for being the product of a single family home or think less of my boyfriend? It's not "that important" to me that he grew up without a father but it is "that important" to him.
You said "she shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent" and "A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them". You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child. Sure, the child could be loved and cared for BUT children need their fathers. For a woman to deny a child of this right (purposefully) in order to fulfill her own selfish wants is, well...selfish.
When did it become acceptable for children to be denied a father?
|
|
|
| |
|
Amon Ra
|
Nov 15 2010, 03:42 AM
Post #95
|
|
- Posts:
- 504
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #637
- Joined:
- Sep 12, 2010
|
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 03:19 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:55 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:39 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:28 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:17 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:10 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 01:57 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 01:51 AM
What about foster/adopted single parents? Isn't having atleast one loving parent better than none at all? I don't think a woman opting for artificial insemination is selfish. A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them. Most women hope to bear children, however many aren't blessed to do so. & Teenagers are kids...we all did stupid shit before contemplating the consequences when we were younger.
Adoption is very tough, as I am very pro adoption. Because our foster care system is in shambles and failing our children, I would say that a single woman adopting is definitely a better scenario. However, many older children who want to be adopted specifically ask and yearn for a father in a two parent household. Artificial insemination is completely selfish for single women, in my opinion. Teenagers and kids shouldn't even be mothers to begin with. "Stupid shit with consequences" is one thing, making another life (possibly on purpose) is far beyond a "consequence".
Dumb is dumb sweetie. 'Stupid shit' is teens having pre-marital (and many times protected) sex. & many of these teens have a mother and a father to help them through their life lesson. Let's not pretend that we didn't partake in that (sex) when we were teens; we just didn't get pregnant. So adoption is acceptable, but not artificial insemination? lol Most women I know want children, and it's disheartening to hear a woman who physically cannot. She shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent. Some of the strongest and respected people I know (or read about) are products of single parent homes.... I'd much rather a child have ONE responsible parent, than TWO fucked up ones.
You can give every plausible scenario in the world, but I still believe that a two parent home is the most ideal and should be sought after. Women who are single and want children via artificial insemination are only doing so for selfish reasons. They aren't thinking about the best interest of the possible child AT ALL. Adoption is different because a child is already here and without a home. I'm not saying that those from single parent homes aren't good people. I'm saying that those who purposely have children without being in a healthy marriage are selfish. One loving parent is always better than two fucked up parents (research proves this). However, two loving parents is ALWAYS better than one.
We all are entitled to our opinions. Let's hope you are blessed to have children when the time comes. 'Healthy' marriages are almost non-existent or slowly becoming extinct. Most families suffer some sort of dysfunction. lol If you can care for a child (financially, emotionally), no one has the right to judge or deny you that experience. I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain. Parents don't need to live together to successfully raise a child. I know ALOT of fucked up people who had 2 parents in the home....a child's odds aren't necessarily better if raised in a two parent home either.
Honestly, I don't want children. If I ever do, they will be adopted (if I'm married). Healthy marriages does not mean perfect. Obviously, if abuse is occurring, children should not be in that situation either. Also, having children is not simply "an experience" that all women are simply entitled to because that is what they want (how selfish to view raising a child as such!). Raising children is a lifelong dedication. Wow, you've never heard single parents complain? You've never heard children who are products of a single parent home complain? You must not be listening. My boyfriend grew up without his father. Although he dearly loves his mother and they are very close, he feels like he has a void in his life. My Godchildren have no father in their lives. It makes my heart ache to hear them say things like, "Why can't daddy come to my football games?" ?""Where is my daddy?" "Why doesn't daddy live with us Single mothers are also complaining- How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own? etc. etc. etc.
I never said never dear...you obviously can't read. lol I really don't hear complaints as much because they have accepted their circumstances and are making things work instead of whining about it. What good does that do? I also know children of two parent homes whose 'daddy' isn't exactly active in the child's life. & your story about your godchildren suggests that they're aware of their father's identity and he is making the choice to be absent. We can't predict our future. & you use the examples "How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own?" Sounds like this woman was under the impression that she would have a partner....Did your boyfriend's mother know she would raise him alone initially? Probably not. Despite him being the product of a single parent home, I can assume you think highly of your boyfriend's character, right? lol Exactly....it's not that important & I also never said a woman was entitled just because. (read again honey bunches) I stated the same requirements a two parent home should adhere to.
"I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain." and now it's "I really don't hear complaints as much" Either you do or you don't, the amount is irrelevant. Obviously, I can read. Your chastising is not needed nor helpful. It's unfair to say that a product of a single parent home is "whining" merely because they yearn for a two parent household. How heartless of you. Obviously they have no choice but to live with their circumstances, but it definitely does not make it the ideal scenario or the scenario to purposely seek out. They are aware that they have fathers, yes. They are also aware that their fathers can not be in their lives (one is court ordered to stay away, the other in jail). Did my best friend predict this would happen? No. However, could she have done more to prevent this situation? Yes. In the end, her children are suffering for something that they had absolutely no control over. I can't answer the question about my boyfriend's mother because I don't have the answer. Nevertheless, my boyfriend has suffered due to her decisions. Again, it isn't the child's fault so why would I judge them for being the product of a single family home or think less of my boyfriend? It's not "that important" to me that he grew up without a father but it is "that important" to him. You said "she shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent" and "A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them". You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child. Sure, the child could be loved and cared for BUT children need their fathers. For a woman to deny a child of this right (purposefully) in order to fulfill her own selfish wants is, well...selfish. When did it become acceptable for children to be denied a father? LOL. Calm down; it's not that serious to get upset. I made the comment about reading as a counter-attack to your 'you must not be listening' comment you made. Obviously, someone has their feelings on their shoulders....? Back in the day, I used to hear complaints, but this is a new, independent generation. So, no I don't hear it. The single mothers I know are self-sufficient, accept their situation, and are examples of resilience to their children. Beautiful thing. Complaining about things you can't change is counter productive; it doesn't fix shit. "You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child." Loving and caring for a child is benefiting the CHILD!!!! The same thing a father would do. The statement was self-explanatory. Having two parents is great, my point is not having two doesn't mean your parent was 'selfish.' & since you don't know of your boyfriend's mother's situation, then you can't say his 'suffering' was due to her decisions. & what 'suffering?' Sounds like you're exaggerating a bit. You said he loves his mother dearly; he couldn't have suffered because of her. A married woman who gets divorced is no different.... Fathers are important, (I love mine) but you can't categorize all single parent situations the same. & it's a natural thing for women to desire children; something nature controls. Not all people want to adopt and can care for a child....as long as the child is happy and healthy, who really gives a fuck? Most of the people who are complaining don't even have kids. lmao
|
|
|
| |
|
Elle
|
Nov 15 2010, 03:56 AM
Post #96
|
|
- Posts:
- 2,220
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #208
- Joined:
- Dec 9, 2009
|
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 03:42 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 03:19 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:55 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:39 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:28 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:17 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:10 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 01:57 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 01:51 AM
What about foster/adopted single parents? Isn't having atleast one loving parent better than none at all? I don't think a woman opting for artificial insemination is selfish. A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them. Most women hope to bear children, however many aren't blessed to do so. & Teenagers are kids...we all did stupid shit before contemplating the consequences when we were younger.
Adoption is very tough, as I am very pro adoption. Because our foster care system is in shambles and failing our children, I would say that a single woman adopting is definitely a better scenario. However, many older children who want to be adopted specifically ask and yearn for a father in a two parent household. Artificial insemination is completely selfish for single women, in my opinion. Teenagers and kids shouldn't even be mothers to begin with. "Stupid shit with consequences" is one thing, making another life (possibly on purpose) is far beyond a "consequence".
Dumb is dumb sweetie. 'Stupid shit' is teens having pre-marital (and many times protected) sex. & many of these teens have a mother and a father to help them through their life lesson. Let's not pretend that we didn't partake in that (sex) when we were teens; we just didn't get pregnant. So adoption is acceptable, but not artificial insemination? lol Most women I know want children, and it's disheartening to hear a woman who physically cannot. She shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent. Some of the strongest and respected people I know (or read about) are products of single parent homes.... I'd much rather a child have ONE responsible parent, than TWO fucked up ones.
You can give every plausible scenario in the world, but I still believe that a two parent home is the most ideal and should be sought after. Women who are single and want children via artificial insemination are only doing so for selfish reasons. They aren't thinking about the best interest of the possible child AT ALL. Adoption is different because a child is already here and without a home. I'm not saying that those from single parent homes aren't good people. I'm saying that those who purposely have children without being in a healthy marriage are selfish. One loving parent is always better than two fucked up parents (research proves this). However, two loving parents is ALWAYS better than one.
We all are entitled to our opinions. Let's hope you are blessed to have children when the time comes. 'Healthy' marriages are almost non-existent or slowly becoming extinct. Most families suffer some sort of dysfunction. lol If you can care for a child (financially, emotionally), no one has the right to judge or deny you that experience. I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain. Parents don't need to live together to successfully raise a child. I know ALOT of fucked up people who had 2 parents in the home....a child's odds aren't necessarily better if raised in a two parent home either.
Honestly, I don't want children. If I ever do, they will be adopted (if I'm married). Healthy marriages does not mean perfect. Obviously, if abuse is occurring, children should not be in that situation either. Also, having children is not simply "an experience" that all women are simply entitled to because that is what they want (how selfish to view raising a child as such!). Raising children is a lifelong dedication. Wow, you've never heard single parents complain? You've never heard children who are products of a single parent home complain? You must not be listening. My boyfriend grew up without his father. Although he dearly loves his mother and they are very close, he feels like he has a void in his life. My Godchildren have no father in their lives. It makes my heart ache to hear them say things like, "Why can't daddy come to my football games?" ?""Where is my daddy?" "Why doesn't daddy live with us Single mothers are also complaining- How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own? etc. etc. etc.
I never said never dear...you obviously can't read. lol I really don't hear complaints as much because they have accepted their circumstances and are making things work instead of whining about it. What good does that do? I also know children of two parent homes whose 'daddy' isn't exactly active in the child's life. & your story about your godchildren suggests that they're aware of their father's identity and he is making the choice to be absent. We can't predict our future. & you use the examples "How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own?" Sounds like this woman was under the impression that she would have a partner....Did your boyfriend's mother know she would raise him alone initially? Probably not. Despite him being the product of a single parent home, I can assume you think highly of your boyfriend's character, right? lol Exactly....it's not that important & I also never said a woman was entitled just because. (read again honey bunches) I stated the same requirements a two parent home should adhere to.
"I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain." and now it's "I really don't hear complaints as much" Either you do or you don't, the amount is irrelevant. Obviously, I can read. Your chastising is not needed nor helpful. It's unfair to say that a product of a single parent home is "whining" merely because they yearn for a two parent household. How heartless of you. Obviously they have no choice but to live with their circumstances, but it definitely does not make it the ideal scenario or the scenario to purposely seek out. They are aware that they have fathers, yes. They are also aware that their fathers can not be in their lives (one is court ordered to stay away, the other in jail). Did my best friend predict this would happen? No. However, could she have done more to prevent this situation? Yes. In the end, her children are suffering for something that they had absolutely no control over. I can't answer the question about my boyfriend's mother because I don't have the answer. Nevertheless, my boyfriend has suffered due to her decisions. Again, it isn't the child's fault so why would I judge them for being the product of a single family home or think less of my boyfriend? It's not "that important" to me that he grew up without a father but it is "that important" to him. You said "she shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent" and "A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them". You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child. Sure, the child could be loved and cared for BUT children need their fathers. For a woman to deny a child of this right (purposefully) in order to fulfill her own selfish wants is, well...selfish. When did it become acceptable for children to be denied a father?
LOL. Calm down; it's not that serious to get upset. I made the comment about reading as a counter-attack to your 'you must not be listening' comment you made. Obviously, someone has their feelings on their shoulders....? Back in the day, I used to hear complaints, but this is a new, independent generation. So, no I don't hear it. The single mothers I know are self-sufficient, accept their situation, and are examples of resilience to their children. Beautiful thing. Complaining about things you can't change is counter productive; it doesn't fix shit. "You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child." Loving and caring for a child is benefiting the CHILD!!!! The same thing a father would do. The statement was self-explanatory. Having two parents is great, my point is not having two doesn't mean your parent was 'selfish.' & since you don't know of your boyfriend's mother's situation, then you can't say his 'suffering' was due to her decisions. & what 'suffering?' Sounds like you're exaggerating a bit. You said he loves his mother dearly; he couldn't have suffered because of her. A married woman who gets divorced is no different.... Fathers are important, (I love mine) but you can't categorize all single parent situations the same. & it's a natural thing for women to desire children; something nature controls. Not all people want to adopt and can care for a child....as long as the child is happy and healthy, who really gives a fuck? Most of the people who are complaining don't even have kids. lmao You are completely down playing the benefit of and need for the presence of a father in a child's life. Obviously you can't speak on behalf of these children's feelings, because you have your father. The opinions of the mother and her "independence" is irrelevant also, because she is not in her child's shoes.
My boyfriend has suffered because he has lived without a father, how can you even attempt to argue this? Because you had a father you can't relate to not having one? People like you and cisslybee ACCEPT the fact that women say their children don't need fathers, without giving much thought to what is the benefit of the child. "Who really gives a fuck?" Um, the KIDS.
If I have children, I want to give them the best they deserve and what they need: two parents who love them.
|
|
|
| |
|
Amon Ra
|
Nov 15 2010, 04:15 AM
Post #97
|
|
- Posts:
- 504
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #637
- Joined:
- Sep 12, 2010
|
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 03:56 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 03:42 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 03:19 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:55 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:39 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:28 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:17 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:10 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 01:57 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 01:51 AM
What about foster/adopted single parents? Isn't having atleast one loving parent better than none at all? I don't think a woman opting for artificial insemination is selfish. A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them. Most women hope to bear children, however many aren't blessed to do so. & Teenagers are kids...we all did stupid shit before contemplating the consequences when we were younger.
Adoption is very tough, as I am very pro adoption. Because our foster care system is in shambles and failing our children, I would say that a single woman adopting is definitely a better scenario. However, many older children who want to be adopted specifically ask and yearn for a father in a two parent household. Artificial insemination is completely selfish for single women, in my opinion. Teenagers and kids shouldn't even be mothers to begin with. "Stupid shit with consequences" is one thing, making another life (possibly on purpose) is far beyond a "consequence".
Dumb is dumb sweetie. 'Stupid shit' is teens having pre-marital (and many times protected) sex. & many of these teens have a mother and a father to help them through their life lesson. Let's not pretend that we didn't partake in that (sex) when we were teens; we just didn't get pregnant. So adoption is acceptable, but not artificial insemination? lol Most women I know want children, and it's disheartening to hear a woman who physically cannot. She shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent. Some of the strongest and respected people I know (or read about) are products of single parent homes.... I'd much rather a child have ONE responsible parent, than TWO fucked up ones.
You can give every plausible scenario in the world, but I still believe that a two parent home is the most ideal and should be sought after. Women who are single and want children via artificial insemination are only doing so for selfish reasons. They aren't thinking about the best interest of the possible child AT ALL. Adoption is different because a child is already here and without a home. I'm not saying that those from single parent homes aren't good people. I'm saying that those who purposely have children without being in a healthy marriage are selfish. One loving parent is always better than two fucked up parents (research proves this). However, two loving parents is ALWAYS better than one.
We all are entitled to our opinions. Let's hope you are blessed to have children when the time comes. 'Healthy' marriages are almost non-existent or slowly becoming extinct. Most families suffer some sort of dysfunction. lol If you can care for a child (financially, emotionally), no one has the right to judge or deny you that experience. I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain. Parents don't need to live together to successfully raise a child. I know ALOT of fucked up people who had 2 parents in the home....a child's odds aren't necessarily better if raised in a two parent home either.
Honestly, I don't want children. If I ever do, they will be adopted (if I'm married). Healthy marriages does not mean perfect. Obviously, if abuse is occurring, children should not be in that situation either. Also, having children is not simply "an experience" that all women are simply entitled to because that is what they want (how selfish to view raising a child as such!). Raising children is a lifelong dedication. Wow, you've never heard single parents complain? You've never heard children who are products of a single parent home complain? You must not be listening. My boyfriend grew up without his father. Although he dearly loves his mother and they are very close, he feels like he has a void in his life. My Godchildren have no father in their lives. It makes my heart ache to hear them say things like, "Why can't daddy come to my football games?" ?""Where is my daddy?" "Why doesn't daddy live with us Single mothers are also complaining- How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own? etc. etc. etc.
I never said never dear...you obviously can't read. lol I really don't hear complaints as much because they have accepted their circumstances and are making things work instead of whining about it. What good does that do? I also know children of two parent homes whose 'daddy' isn't exactly active in the child's life. & your story about your godchildren suggests that they're aware of their father's identity and he is making the choice to be absent. We can't predict our future. & you use the examples "How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own?" Sounds like this woman was under the impression that she would have a partner....Did your boyfriend's mother know she would raise him alone initially? Probably not. Despite him being the product of a single parent home, I can assume you think highly of your boyfriend's character, right? lol Exactly....it's not that important & I also never said a woman was entitled just because. (read again honey bunches) I stated the same requirements a two parent home should adhere to.
"I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain." and now it's "I really don't hear complaints as much" Either you do or you don't, the amount is irrelevant. Obviously, I can read. Your chastising is not needed nor helpful. It's unfair to say that a product of a single parent home is "whining" merely because they yearn for a two parent household. How heartless of you. Obviously they have no choice but to live with their circumstances, but it definitely does not make it the ideal scenario or the scenario to purposely seek out. They are aware that they have fathers, yes. They are also aware that their fathers can not be in their lives (one is court ordered to stay away, the other in jail). Did my best friend predict this would happen? No. However, could she have done more to prevent this situation? Yes. In the end, her children are suffering for something that they had absolutely no control over. I can't answer the question about my boyfriend's mother because I don't have the answer. Nevertheless, my boyfriend has suffered due to her decisions. Again, it isn't the child's fault so why would I judge them for being the product of a single family home or think less of my boyfriend? It's not "that important" to me that he grew up without a father but it is "that important" to him. You said "she shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent" and "A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them". You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child. Sure, the child could be loved and cared for BUT children need their fathers. For a woman to deny a child of this right (purposefully) in order to fulfill her own selfish wants is, well...selfish. When did it become acceptable for children to be denied a father?
LOL. Calm down; it's not that serious to get upset. I made the comment about reading as a counter-attack to your 'you must not be listening' comment you made. Obviously, someone has their feelings on their shoulders....? Back in the day, I used to hear complaints, but this is a new, independent generation. So, no I don't hear it. The single mothers I know are self-sufficient, accept their situation, and are examples of resilience to their children. Beautiful thing. Complaining about things you can't change is counter productive; it doesn't fix shit. "You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child." Loving and caring for a child is benefiting the CHILD!!!! The same thing a father would do. The statement was self-explanatory. Having two parents is great, my point is not having two doesn't mean your parent was 'selfish.' & since you don't know of your boyfriend's mother's situation, then you can't say his 'suffering' was due to her decisions. & what 'suffering?' Sounds like you're exaggerating a bit. You said he loves his mother dearly; he couldn't have suffered because of her. A married woman who gets divorced is no different.... Fathers are important, (I love mine) but you can't categorize all single parent situations the same. & it's a natural thing for women to desire children; something nature controls. Not all people want to adopt and can care for a child....as long as the child is happy and healthy, who really gives a fuck? Most of the people who are complaining don't even have kids. lmao
You are completely down playing the benefit of and need for the presence of a father in a child's life. Obviously you can't speak on behalf of these children's feelings, because you have your father. The opinions of the mother and her "independence" is irrelevant also, because she is not in her child's shoes. My boyfriend has suffered because he has lived without a father, how can you even attempt to argue this? Because you had a father you can't relate to not having one? People like you and cisslybee ACCEPT the fact that women say their children don't need fathers, without giving much thought to what is the benefit of the child. "Who really gives a fuck?" Um, the KIDS. If I have children, I want to give them the best they deserve and what they need: two parents who love them. LMAO. I clearly said fathers are important. (Selective reading, I suppose) Portraying independence is important and when you've never known a father and your mother makes everything seem so effortless and wonderful, it's hard to really 'miss' your absent father; just think about it. & yes I love my father, but my father's only been out of prison maybe 2 years.....and he did 20 years honey. I'm 28 years old; you do the math. lol My sister and I did not 'suffer' by him not being around; not one bit. Neither of us had children out of wedlock, my sister has her Masters and I'm working on my degree. My mother or grandmother never received government assistance either. My parents were married when they had us, but my father started using drugs and was abusive so she divorced him. Wouldn't talk to him for years, and remarried him 6 years ago (yes while he was still in prison) & they are extremely happy by the way. Not all single parent homes consist of a mother either. You should really stop trying to dissect and manipulate my statements... I said, "as long as the child is happy and healthy, who really gives a fuck?" That's what's important to me. How does the kid feel? As a product of a single parent home, I feel blessed for the experience. I'm much stronger and less needy for it. People go through way worse as children than not having one parent around.....
|
|
|
| |
|
Elle
|
Nov 15 2010, 04:35 AM
Post #98
|
|
- Posts:
- 2,220
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #208
- Joined:
- Dec 9, 2009
|
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 04:15 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 03:56 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 03:42 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 03:19 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:55 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:39 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:28 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 02:17 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 02:10 AM
- Elle
- Nov 15 2010, 01:57 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 01:51 AM
What about foster/adopted single parents? Isn't having atleast one loving parent better than none at all? I don't think a woman opting for artificial insemination is selfish. A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them. Most women hope to bear children, however many aren't blessed to do so. & Teenagers are kids...we all did stupid shit before contemplating the consequences when we were younger.
Adoption is very tough, as I am very pro adoption. Because our foster care system is in shambles and failing our children, I would say that a single woman adopting is definitely a better scenario. However, many older children who want to be adopted specifically ask and yearn for a father in a two parent household. Artificial insemination is completely selfish for single women, in my opinion. Teenagers and kids shouldn't even be mothers to begin with. "Stupid shit with consequences" is one thing, making another life (possibly on purpose) is far beyond a "consequence".
Dumb is dumb sweetie. 'Stupid shit' is teens having pre-marital (and many times protected) sex. & many of these teens have a mother and a father to help them through their life lesson. Let's not pretend that we didn't partake in that (sex) when we were teens; we just didn't get pregnant. So adoption is acceptable, but not artificial insemination? lol Most women I know want children, and it's disheartening to hear a woman who physically cannot. She shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent. Some of the strongest and respected people I know (or read about) are products of single parent homes.... I'd much rather a child have ONE responsible parent, than TWO fucked up ones.
You can give every plausible scenario in the world, but I still believe that a two parent home is the most ideal and should be sought after. Women who are single and want children via artificial insemination are only doing so for selfish reasons. They aren't thinking about the best interest of the possible child AT ALL. Adoption is different because a child is already here and without a home. I'm not saying that those from single parent homes aren't good people. I'm saying that those who purposely have children without being in a healthy marriage are selfish. One loving parent is always better than two fucked up parents (research proves this). However, two loving parents is ALWAYS better than one.
We all are entitled to our opinions. Let's hope you are blessed to have children when the time comes. 'Healthy' marriages are almost non-existent or slowly becoming extinct. Most families suffer some sort of dysfunction. lol If you can care for a child (financially, emotionally), no one has the right to judge or deny you that experience. I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain. Parents don't need to live together to successfully raise a child. I know ALOT of fucked up people who had 2 parents in the home....a child's odds aren't necessarily better if raised in a two parent home either.
Honestly, I don't want children. If I ever do, they will be adopted (if I'm married). Healthy marriages does not mean perfect. Obviously, if abuse is occurring, children should not be in that situation either. Also, having children is not simply "an experience" that all women are simply entitled to because that is what they want (how selfish to view raising a child as such!). Raising children is a lifelong dedication. Wow, you've never heard single parents complain? You've never heard children who are products of a single parent home complain? You must not be listening. My boyfriend grew up without his father. Although he dearly loves his mother and they are very close, he feels like he has a void in his life. My Godchildren have no father in their lives. It makes my heart ache to hear them say things like, "Why can't daddy come to my football games?" ?""Where is my daddy?" "Why doesn't daddy live with us Single mothers are also complaining- How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own? etc. etc. etc.
I never said never dear...you obviously can't read. lol I really don't hear complaints as much because they have accepted their circumstances and are making things work instead of whining about it. What good does that do? I also know children of two parent homes whose 'daddy' isn't exactly active in the child's life. & your story about your godchildren suggests that they're aware of their father's identity and he is making the choice to be absent. We can't predict our future. & you use the examples "How can I do this alone? How can I afford children on my own?" Sounds like this woman was under the impression that she would have a partner....Did your boyfriend's mother know she would raise him alone initially? Probably not. Despite him being the product of a single parent home, I can assume you think highly of your boyfriend's character, right? lol Exactly....it's not that important & I also never said a woman was entitled just because. (read again honey bunches) I stated the same requirements a two parent home should adhere to.
"I don't hear the single parents (or their kids) complain." and now it's "I really don't hear complaints as much" Either you do or you don't, the amount is irrelevant. Obviously, I can read. Your chastising is not needed nor helpful. It's unfair to say that a product of a single parent home is "whining" merely because they yearn for a two parent household. How heartless of you. Obviously they have no choice but to live with their circumstances, but it definitely does not make it the ideal scenario or the scenario to purposely seek out. They are aware that they have fathers, yes. They are also aware that their fathers can not be in their lives (one is court ordered to stay away, the other in jail). Did my best friend predict this would happen? No. However, could she have done more to prevent this situation? Yes. In the end, her children are suffering for something that they had absolutely no control over. I can't answer the question about my boyfriend's mother because I don't have the answer. Nevertheless, my boyfriend has suffered due to her decisions. Again, it isn't the child's fault so why would I judge them for being the product of a single family home or think less of my boyfriend? It's not "that important" to me that he grew up without a father but it is "that important" to him. You said "she shouldn't be denied that pride if she's potentially a great parent" and "A woman who doesn't want/can't find a husband, should not be condemned for wanting to have a child; especially of they can love and care for them". You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child. Sure, the child could be loved and cared for BUT children need their fathers. For a woman to deny a child of this right (purposefully) in order to fulfill her own selfish wants is, well...selfish. When did it become acceptable for children to be denied a father?
LOL. Calm down; it's not that serious to get upset. I made the comment about reading as a counter-attack to your 'you must not be listening' comment you made. Obviously, someone has their feelings on their shoulders....? Back in the day, I used to hear complaints, but this is a new, independent generation. So, no I don't hear it. The single mothers I know are self-sufficient, accept their situation, and are examples of resilience to their children. Beautiful thing. Complaining about things you can't change is counter productive; it doesn't fix shit. "You're leaving out a VERY important part of this equation- the child." Loving and caring for a child is benefiting the CHILD!!!! The same thing a father would do. The statement was self-explanatory. Having two parents is great, my point is not having two doesn't mean your parent was 'selfish.' & since you don't know of your boyfriend's mother's situation, then you can't say his 'suffering' was due to her decisions. & what 'suffering?' Sounds like you're exaggerating a bit. You said he loves his mother dearly; he couldn't have suffered because of her. A married woman who gets divorced is no different.... Fathers are important, (I love mine) but you can't categorize all single parent situations the same. & it's a natural thing for women to desire children; something nature controls. Not all people want to adopt and can care for a child....as long as the child is happy and healthy, who really gives a fuck? Most of the people who are complaining don't even have kids. lmao
You are completely down playing the benefit of and need for the presence of a father in a child's life. Obviously you can't speak on behalf of these children's feelings, because you have your father. The opinions of the mother and her "independence" is irrelevant also, because she is not in her child's shoes. My boyfriend has suffered because he has lived without a father, how can you even attempt to argue this? Because you had a father you can't relate to not having one? People like you and cisslybee ACCEPT the fact that women say their children don't need fathers, without giving much thought to what is the benefit of the child. "Who really gives a fuck?" Um, the KIDS. If I have children, I want to give them the best they deserve and what they need: two parents who love them.
LMAO. I clearly said fathers are important. (Selective reading, I suppose) Portraying independence is important and when you've never known a father and your mother makes everything seem so effortless and wonderful, it's hard to really 'miss' your absent father; just think about it. & yes I love my father, but my father's only been out of prison maybe 2 years.....and he did 20 years honey. I'm 28 years old; you do the math. lol My sister and I did not 'suffer' by him not being around; not one bit. Neither of us had children out of wedlock, my sister has her Masters and I'm working on my degree. My mother or grandmother never received government assistance either. My parents were married when they had us, but my father started using drugs and was abusive so she divorced him. Wouldn't talk to him for years, and remarried him 6 years ago (yes while he was still in prison) & they are extremely happy by the way. Not all single parent homes consist of a mother either. You should really stop trying to dissect and manipulate my statements... I said, "as long as the child is happy and healthy, who really gives a fuck?" That's what's important to me. How does the kid feel? As a product of a single parent home, I feel blessed for the experience. I'm much stronger and less needy for it. People go through way worse as children than not having one parent around..... Saying things like, "The single mothers I know are self-sufficient, accept their situation, and are examples of resilience to their children" and "this is a new, independent generation" is downplaying a child's need for a father. Period. I think it's completely legitimate and understandable to love your mother with all your heart and still miss your father (ie: my boyfriend's situation). A child can be happy and healthy without a father. Still, does this mean that they don't deserve one? Because you didn't feel a void in your childhood, doesn't mean others don't or shouldn't. You can feel blessed and "less needy" (what does that even mean?) from not having your father, but what could you have benefited from having him around (sober and not abusive, of course)? My point is that children need their father. To downplay this statement is unfair to an innocent child who deserves one.
|
|
|
| |
|
Amon Ra
|
Nov 15 2010, 04:44 AM
Post #99
|
|
- Posts:
- 504
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #637
- Joined:
- Sep 12, 2010
|
My statements regarding single mothers are just to reiterate how positive the situation can be despite the absence of a father. I was in no way insinuating that fathers aren't needed. For the final time, FATHERS ARE IMPORTANT!!! How many different ways can I express this? lol I also never said the void isn't felt or shouldn't be. Yes, I missed my father at times, but my mother didn't miss a beat; something that most single parents are forced to do...compensate for the absent parent. Once again you made my point...."A child can be happy and healthy without a father." You said it; that is all I mean. Single mothers shouldn't be condemned or blamed; they do a pretty good job.
|
|
|
| |
|
cisslybee2012
|
Nov 15 2010, 09:11 AM
Post #100
|
|
The REBEL
- Posts:
- 46,231
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #556
- Joined:
- Jun 21, 2010
|
- nevergiveup
- Nov 15 2010, 01:57 AM
- BossHogg
- Nov 15 2010, 01:37 AM
We're in 2010 now, and many people have children before marriage; some get married, some don't. Again, single parent homes don't necessarily begin that way. Ever heard of that? Like I said, most if not all of the single mothers I know were in long term relationships with the fathers of their children and things just didn't work out. I wouldn't say they were all to blame.....I respect the actions/integrity of a single mother more than I would an abused married mother.
Are you saying that having babies out of wedlock is now acceptable, has society really fallen that low and are you a religious person? Yes. Having children out of wedlock is acceptable.
People are slowly coming to their senses.
And I'm doing my share, what I can to show women that the secret to life lies within them. Women are the magic that makes life work the way it's supposed to. So what they feel, know, and believe means everything for all of us.
|
|
|
| |
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
|