| This is how White Women get Black men | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 29 2010, 06:15 PM (12,734 Views) | |
| Rick1 | Jun 29 2010, 08:19 AM Post #191 |
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OK everybody so how do we get young men and women to understand what it takes to put the family back together. It's obvious most want a strong family but don't know how to do it. Single parenthood has become popular for the wrong reasons and usually leads to unproductive kids. However a lot of women feel they can handle it. What do you tell them? |
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| Mrsincere | Jun 29 2010, 08:34 AM Post #192 |
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Your points are well taken. However the ones that need to hear and heed what you are saying are too far gone. What you are saying is not something many of us here dont already know and arent already practicing. I hope you are aware of this as well? There are many black women that are basically good people, but they just dont know how to be their best in a relationship or especially when they have a decent, principled man to work with. I know for a fact a lot of black women dont believe they have shortcomings. Thats because they think of black women in generalities. And they use themselves as as the example and representation of the mindset of black women in general. So if they see themselves as good women, then all black women are good women in their mind. If a woman is a hot mess.......she is still considered a good woman, but her problem is assigned to some man or men in general. That is a big mistake enough women make when evaluating reality from ego stroking. Many black mens experiences and observations with black women dont match the general belief that enough black women have of themselves. With that being said.......a lot of black women do not and will not respond positively even when a man handles a situation as loving as possible. I'm saying this to say.......a black woman has to be receptive to loving authority and leadership. Just because a man comes positive, that doesnt mean his efforts will be received accordingly. This is some of the problems men here and elsewhere keep talking about. How being a good , decent, principled man, one who is striving to be his best are not necessarily characteristics that are automatically appreciated by enough black women. It may not be that those bw have a problem with the men......it's just that the mans interests are not their priority. They have their own priorities and interests, and the only thing they care about is men focused on supplementing their priorities. All that effort a man deems important ends up being useless to a woman who could care less. Thats like a coach trying to lovingly coach his team who have already left the field and went home. So if a woman thinks that all a man has to do is come lovingly, and women automatically start working with a man, they are grossly mistaken. Any man thinking the same thing, is just as disillusioned. Edited by Mrsincere, Jun 29 2010, 08:57 AM.
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| Mrsincere | Jun 29 2010, 10:54 AM Post #193 |
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Rick , this is how I see it. I'll use Africans and Indian folks to form an analogy. Most people know that Africans and Indians are usually known for establishing tribes. Each tribe has it's own customs and lifestyle. As long as each tribe stays within their tribal boundaries, they are free to live according to the traditions within that culture/tribe. Conflict arises, when one tribe tries to impose it's traditions, or values and customs on another tribe. Or when they invade the territorial boundaries of another tribe. Using that analogy......Phucked up black people are an example of a particular tribe. And productive black people are an example of another tribe. Each has their own traditions,values and customs. But the problem and conflict comes into play when one tribe decides that the other tribe should practice the same,traditions, values and customs as their tribe. For this example......it's the productive tribe tying to dictate how the phucked up tribe is supposed to live their lives. Just looking at it from that perspective. Dont the phucked up tribe have the right to live their life the way they choose without interference or imposition from the productive tribe? Same for the productive tribe. Doesnt the productive tribe have the right to live according to the positive ,traditions, customs and values they believe in, without having the phucked up tribe dictating to them how they should live their lives? In essence I'm saying.......each tribe should focus on the tribe they are in and stop trying to impose their will and values on the other tribe. That we must align ourselves with folks that coincide with our traditions,values and customs, no matter what tribe we belong to. Unless the other tribe crosses into your boundaries or affects your livelyhood directly, they should be free to do whatever they choose to do within their own tribe. If I see a black woman at a strip club stripping......I dont think, oh my I need to save her. My mind is thinking, she doesnt belong to my tribe. In my tribe, women respect themselves. We can apply that analogy in many instances. Unfortunately that even applies to family. I can make every effort to convince a family member to live according to my values etc. But if that person doesnt see it that way, or refuses to live that way.......they have to be considered an outcast of my tribe. It's as simple as that. Now if family comes before principle......that means I will accept a raggedy family member who wont fit within my tribe. If I bring that person to my tribe knowing their values are not compatible, I run the risk of destroying my own tribe. As cold as it may seem.......I just think that some people must be written off. Another way of looking at it. Look at what happened when like minded people boycotted against an injustice? They got the attention of someone who had the power to effect change. And great things emerged as a result. Well if the dysfunctional black folks were stripped of support......there is a strong possibility, that might effect a significant change. The problem comes into play when weakness supports weakness. Or corrupt powers exploit weak-minded people for profit or personal gain. Using the chemistry of fire as another example. You take out any one of the elements necessary to sustain a fire ( heat,fuel, oxygen, or the chemical chain reaction ) a fire will eventually die out. Using that example, as long as people are providing the support to sustain ignorant, ass-backwards people ......the by-product of the shit they produce will continue. Maybe negativity is a necessary component of life and is supposed to exist. Without it, how would we know what to strive towards or away from? Edited by Mrsincere, Jun 29 2010, 11:25 AM.
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| Rick1 | Jun 29 2010, 11:55 AM Post #194 |
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Having people whom are different stay away from each is a short term solution. I'm interested in how the self destruction will finally come to an end. People over 40 have pretty much decided one way or another as to what they are willing to tolerate from the opposite sex or whether they will date out of their race. What do we tell young folks? |
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| Mister J | Jun 29 2010, 12:58 PM Post #195 |
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You can not "tell" young Blacks a damn thiing unless you have some measure of power or influence in their lives. I said before that, like it or not, most people have to be FORCED, in one way or other, to conform to certain moral & civilized modes of behavior (myself included). Why do you think corrupted leaderships in this country have a convoluted "law" for any and every act a person can do or think of, with a cop, a jail cell and a judge staring you in the face for the slightest slip-up?... Ans: That's their way of FORCING their will upon the common man. Well, the same principle applies to our misguided or problematic young men and women. Aint no amount of 'Big Brother' type mentoring, or church going, or Community Development Projects is going to provide the corrective treatment they need. The reform and development they need will have to be IMPOSED (in some fashion) by stronger, more mature adults, for a necessary period of time until habit and better self-control takes over. Edited by Mister J, Jun 29 2010, 06:48 PM.
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| memdear70 | Jun 29 2010, 01:47 PM Post #196 |
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Rick, here's my take, Some black women are complicated because they want to be, which boils down to playing games. Strong means having the ability to face adversities of whatever magnitude with a level head, assertiveness and the ability sort out the unnecessary from the reality. Strong does not mean physical or arrogant as some seem to think. The foremost thing any woman should have on her mind is how to make it work for both people involved, which ultimately means some sacrifices and compromises. Mrsincere, made a statement that hurts like hell, but unfortunately it's true He said some of them will just have to be writen off. It sounds cold but it's probably the most clear statement ever contributed about this subject. You can't make anybody do anything they don't want to. They have to be willing to make the "upgrade" themselves. I only wish it could be mandatory, perhaps then we wouldn't see so many little ones going astray at such early stages of their lives. |
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| Mrsincere | Jun 29 2010, 04:21 PM Post #197 |
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Rick what I described is something practical that can be readily applied. In fact most of us are doing that as we speak in many aspects of life, in various ways in how we interact with people. Choosing and rejecting those that dont coincide with our interests and values. For instance.......I dont associate with low lifes. I dont condone drug usage or drug dealing. If I was dealing with a woman who wasnt providing proper home training to her kids, I wouldnt deal with her. If I were to consider hiring or helping a young man/male, I would extend that support to someone that I have determined deserves it. If he is walking around with his pants sagging, acting like a thug, consistently being late for work, untrustworthy , always requires close supervision.......he can forget it. I'm not an enabler. I dont give hand outs or opportunities to individuals not willing to work or put in the appropriate effort. I dont encourage entitlement in females either. They get respect, and commensurate reciprocation. If I deem them unworthy, I leave them alone. In other words, they get in return what they represent to me. Other than that Rick.......I'd like to know more about what you feel needs to be done to finally end the self destruction weve been talking about. Just a thought. We had a million man march back in 1995? And here we are in 2010. That was one of the most significant events orchestrated for the purpose of atonement in black men. Today......how have black men progressed since 1995? Probably the black men that needed to atone didnt even attend the march? Some I'm sure were incarcerated at the time, some were very young or some werent even born yet. If the million man march wasnt enough to end the self destruction, and you have to admit, that was an awesome moment in history........just what do you believe will at this point? |
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| Mrsincere | Jun 29 2010, 04:41 PM Post #198 |
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I concur. The more I think of your post, the more it reminds me of certain societies in places like Saudi Arabia, India, and China where they have a low tolerance for the shit we have in this society etc. When it comes to crime, public nudity, adultery, homosexuality, they have strict laws and customs. And if you were caught committing certain crimes or behaviors the consequences would be extremely severe. You could lose body parts, or physically punished, or even put to death. I've seen videos of individuals who supposedly committed a crime, raped or committed adultery.......and they were whipped to death, beheaded, had a spear stuck into their rectums and stood straight up so their whole body would slide down and pierce all of their vital organs. This society is a joke. You can get away with murder and crime. The social and family values is a joke. The child support system is a joke. Even though I empathize with Rick.......I have to wonder, how anyone could expect the self destruction to end as long as this society doesnt even support moving in that direction? In fact, I'd be bold enough to say......destruction and corruption of weaklings within a community is a multi-million or billion dollar industry. Cleaning up an ass-backwards black community, is like trying to hose down a hog who is wallowing around in thick mud. If you expect to keep the hog clean you have to get him out of the mud completely. Edited by Mrsincere, Jun 29 2010, 04:45 PM.
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| Mrsincere | Jun 29 2010, 04:52 PM Post #199 |
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I appreciate your acknowledgment of that point Memdear. And it seems we see the magnitude of the issues similarly, as does Mister J and Rick. The most important thing you said that stands out to me......they have to be willing to make the upgrade themselves. And it makes perfect sense......how can we expect to end self destruction in others, if they themselves arent willing to end it? |
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| Rick1 | Jun 30 2010, 08:41 AM Post #200 |
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Back in 1995 when the million man march occured the average age of these thugs today was birth to 10 yrs old. Everything went downhill after the march. |
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