| This is how White Women get Black men | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 29 2010, 06:15 PM (12,735 Views) | |
| Mister J | Jun 28 2010, 12:41 PM Post #181 |
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The reason most men can't 'see' the damage women do in society is due to one or more of four factors: (1) low intelligence (2) underdevelopment (immaturity) (3) school & media indoctrination (4) still psychologically/emotionally, a "mama's boy" I telling ya, most Blk young men & women are LOST and/or phucked, and will stay that way if older, smarter, courageous MEN don't intervene and impose their will on us for our benefit. When you advance into uncommon, vital knowledge, you begin to realize that people must be FORCED to behave in a certain orderly and civilized manner. Women need the force of right-minded men to keep them in line. The same goes for men., especially younger men. But the average Blk man is not trained to exercise authority & control in their relationships, in their household or in their communities because 'mama' COULD NOT teach it to him and 'daddy' DID NOT teach it to him. The end result is that everyday, all across the country, chaos is going on all around Blk men and they do little or nothing about it. They can't even make the females in their personal circles address them respectfullly or STFU when he needs them to, much less obey any other instructions w/o resorting to licking her ass, or bitchin' back & forth w/ her like one of the hens. Pathetic ! Edited by Mister J, Jun 28 2010, 11:15 PM.
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| Rick1 | Jun 28 2010, 12:43 PM Post #182 |
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Mrsincere sure you are correct, women are also doing some bad things. Since i'm a man i concentrate more on what men can do to fix the problems. Maybe more of the experienced women can offer solutions to help other women. I still feel that it all starts with men. These wild young kids wouldn't be as bad and wouldn't be so easily persuaded if they were raised in better family environments, meaning a father and mother. Girls running around half naked wouldn't do it if daddy was home. Boys wouldn't be running around with his pants on the ground if his father showed him how to dress. Kids wouldn't be hanging out on the streets all night banging if dad was home. The bleeding has to stop become the sore can heal. |
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| Damn Right | Jun 28 2010, 06:53 PM Post #183 |
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Beyonce had a daddy at home and she was still running around at half naked on stage. So it's more to it than just having a mother and father in the home. |
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| Mrsincere | Jun 28 2010, 08:04 PM Post #184 |
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Rick, back in the day.......men seemed to have more power and influence in their relationships, their families and in their communities. When men were the primary breadwinners, women were more submissive ,less confrontational, more respectful of mens leadership and more financially dependent on men. Men had more control of what went on in their households. Men were less likely to be removed from their homes because the woman called the police. Today thats all changed. Now women are less submissive, more confrontational, less respectful of a mans leadership, and quick to tell us they dont need a man financially. A man these days is assured of being locked up or ousted from his home, can lose everything in a divorce. Women have adopted the feminists agenda knowingly and unwittingly. The black man cant fix that. And it is delusional for black men to assume, that if he just gets himself together, black women, children and communities will magically undue all the existing damage and dysfunction that currently exists. Thats not a solution. Thats a wish. I feel black men need to refrain from the assumption that they are responsible for this mess primarily, and women are exempt, as if black men gave them no choice in being independent from black men instead of striving to be inter-dependent with black men. As if women had no choice in all of the dysfunctional things women are known to do. I believe the position that many black women have in relation to black men, is like that biblical story of Lot. You know the one, where Lot and his wife were supposedly fleeing the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah? Lot instructed his wife not to look back. Lot's wife disobeyed his instruction, she supposedly turned into a pillar of salt. Many black women today are like Lot's wife. Lot's wife said to herself, "I'm independent, I can do whatever the hell I wanna do" "If I wanna look back, thats my damn business". "I dont need you to tell me what to do" Now obviously........black women havent turned into a pillar of salt. But they sure put the black man in the position of having to make a decision on what to do with a woman that doesnt respect his judgment, wants to do what she wants to do? What would Lot have done back then if his wife disobeyed or went against his judgment, but didnt turn into salt? Would he have had any effective recourse? Would Lots wife have called the popo if Lot smacked her for disobeying him? Sure that may have worked back then........but black men dont have much recourse in correcting a woman today. He sure cant take her priviledges away, when she makes her own money and can easily get half of his too. In reality, if a man finds the woman he's with refuses to accept him as her leader and protector, what choice does he have except to bounce? If that same woman measures his ability to lead based mainly on her financial dependency or lack thereof, his role as a leader is going to be questionable in that relationship. Because her relationship is not founded on playing a traditional supportive position. If a woman loses interest in supporting a man the minute his finances dries up , or her income matches or exceeds his......that is not a strong relationship. In essence, it matters somewhat that men have themselves together.....but it matters a helluva lot more if women are playing a supportive position instead of undermining his efforts. Edited by Mrsincere, Jun 28 2010, 08:20 PM.
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| Mrsincere | Jun 28 2010, 08:13 PM Post #185 |
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Ya Damn Right, LOL |
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| Mrsincere | Jun 28 2010, 08:59 PM Post #186 |
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Mister J, in addition to what you provided, I'd say the average bm was and is not trained to exercise authority and control because the need for that was and has been phased out by women. In fact.......many women today arent interested in being under some mans authority and control. At least not in the traditional sense. Men tend to adapt and respond to the needs of women. Well, with women historically claiming not to need men, taking care of their own interests, men adapted to that by phasing themselves out when they werent needed or appreciated. Moreover, if a man becomes a non-custodial father he has even less authority and control with his children, and none with his childrens mother. Especially , since he no longer shares the same household with them. Rhetorically speaking, how can he be expected to be effective having authority and control with his kids , when the mothers authority and control has more influence on the childs development? Edited by Mrsincere, Jun 28 2010, 09:05 PM.
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| Mister J | Jun 29 2010, 12:35 AM Post #187 |
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Points well made and taken. Ya can't argue with the facts you've illustrated about the new role of women in society and how earning a paycheck, governmental assistance and legal favoritism have all but rendered men impotent or redundant. And to a great extent, ordinary men can do little to change that. HOWEVER, on a personal level - and I hold firm to this - Blk men can adapt by way of rearranging their priorities from that of putting the wants and "needs" of women first, to placing his own wants and needs on top. When he does this, he will focus much more on his mission and goals in life and a lot less on playing the role of the all-American 'good-guy', hubby - tax-paying wage slave, consumer hog and working mule. Furthermore, he should establish some material and financial foundation independent of partnering and co-owning with women. For example, putting off settling down until he has bought and furnished a modest (or better) residential property, acquired title to a coupla decent vehicles, has sufficient income to meet his living expenses, and a steady return on a smart investment. All of this can be achieved before 32 years of age. How do I know? I know because I did it. And I was born & raised in da 'hood' with not much financial assistance from family, but I wanted my OWN SHYT so badly I stayed focused on ME. Yes, I took a major set-back after my first divorce and had to give up the home but the lessons I learned from first establishing myself independent of partnering and co-owning w/ a woman are these: (1) I was able to 'call the shots' and be the boss of my agenda w/o fear of losing a woman's financial or emotional support. (2) I was able to have much more freedom to indulge my preferred lifestyle of POLYGYNY w/o fear of being put out of my own house on false charges, or coming home to find my car vandalized and clothes burned up. The kind of shyt many, many Blk men experience. (3) I was able to take my time and better screen my dates w/o the pressure of needing to join paychecks to make ends meet. (4) I always had plenty of sexy, attractive and college/career types to pick from, because women have strong appeal for a Blk man (especially a younger one) who possess those benchmark items of establishment and some will almost stalk you to get that 'brass ring'. AND THIS, BLK MAN, IS HOW A MAN PUTS HIMSELF IN THE POSITION TO EXERCISE AUTHORITY OVER WOMEN IN HIS INTIMATE LIFE. When she knows that one or more finer, smarter, prettier women is 'checkin' for you and you can hold your own w/o her input, she's much more likely to submit to your leadership and minimize that combative attitude- of at least put on a damn good act of doing so. Edited by Mister J, Jun 29 2010, 09:45 AM.
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| memdear70 | Jun 29 2010, 01:01 AM Post #188 |
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All of you have made some very good points relative to the relationships between BM/BW. But I might add there is a vast difference in controls and leadership. The word control can never be misunderstood, it means just what it means= to operate with authority, this is not the way to run a household. Leadership is a more loving approach to a positive family lifestyle. These punks running around today cant even be a leader in a pillow fight because all they know is "that aint cool" if somebody gets the best of him. BW if you have a son and the father is absent,make him do the right thing, stay out of the dives, hanging around, bust his lip when needed. BM when that punk comes in with his azz hanging out kick his azz. Parents are usually responsible for buying clothes. Why do you all buy this crap? I remember when my youngest son asked for a $200 pair of Jordans, I ask him when did he start to work.Teach them at an early age that certain apparell is inappropriate. Don't buy it just because Dejewan is wearing it. Let them know that the world owes them nothing but a swift kick if they don't get it together,and be a man all the po-po has for them is a cell. |
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| Big Mike | Jun 29 2010, 01:50 AM Post #189 |
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A lot of these kids today are spoiled, and I think that's why we saw those two girls fighting with the police last week. |
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| Mrsincere | Jun 29 2010, 07:53 AM Post #190 |
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Bravo Mister J. What you laid out are my sentiments, and how I prioritized my life. Too many brothers find themselves acting like macho men, with the understanding that they are supposed to get themselves together primarily for the benefit of women. When they should be setting and working on their own priorities. And later as you alluded to, partner up with a woman who is complementary with his interests and/or goals. I believe it's ridiculous for any black man to have some sort of macho belief that he is supposed to take full responsibility for womens poor choices,behavior, bad attitude , poor judgment and ass backward values. Just about everywhere in life, a person is expected to put their best foot forward, and treat people with respect unless there is reason not to. If you come incorrect, you might find yourself wondering why nobody chose you or gave you a chance. Thats not how enough bw operate. Too many feel they have the right to walk around with an attitude towards whoever they choose as a target. Instead of dealing with men as individuals, some black women adopt the understanding that black men in general dont have themselves together or arent meeting their expectations, so they are justified in using their generalized feelings of black men as an excuse for having an attitude. Since they DONT tend to treat black men as individuals, they end up internalizing black men as being negative as a collective. Many bw dont understand how that mentality puts them on the reject pile with black men who recognize a woman like that as being unfit for a relationship or marriage. But of course, black men are quickly accused of being intimidated or that he couldnt handle a strong black woman. As far as this topic is concerned........I dont feel ethnicity or race is the primary factor of why black men lose interest in pursuing american black women who have that attitude problem, or that generalized belief of bm being negative. IMO, I feel it has a lot more to do with the differences in how the men feel with different women. How different the baggage is from women that have different ways of interacting with men. Men like ourselves are fully aware that not all black women have attitude and general negative beliefs of black men, it's just that it seems it's becoming more and more difficult to find black women that havent been indoctrinated with negative programming about black men, and also were home trained to be inter-dependent with black men. For the most part, black women mainly get training on how to be independent from men. Even fathers are unwittingly preparing their daughters for failure with men, by focusing on independence and not inter-dependence. But when and who is teaching females on what it means to be inter-dependent? Those lessons are not really being taught to any significant degree. What women attempt to do, is make up their own rules along the way. Picking and choosing what they wont do from what they feel like doing. Men who dont have to deal with that, are easily attracted to women who dont put them through an obstacle course just to be with them. Not to mention, men feel good being prioritized in a relationship, rather than being treated like a convenience or inconvenience. Fortunately there are black women who act as individuals and use common sense and good judgment in their relations with men, instead of following the black women that are stuck in the mud of their own ignorance. The problem though, what a man has to go through to weed the good ones out. Edited by Mrsincere, Jun 29 2010, 11:13 AM.
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4:50 AM Jul 11