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The epic rp which hath no name!
Topic Started: Mar 17 2012, 01:03 AM (104,617 Views)
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((Why must books be so expensive?! *Is sad*))

Caelynne nodded as she listened to him quietly, eyes still on him. She felt a pang of sympathy for Jeremy's best friend, having a small clue of what he had gone through at the facility. What she had endured only lasted a couple of days. He had been there for months. Then to come home to find that his girl had moved on? That probably hurt lots too. At least she was alive, however. One hand moved to wrap around her stomach as she thought about it all. What she wouldn't give to see Torrin one last time. "Do you think he ever gets angry at the others? That he was captured and they weren't?" She asked quietly, wondering about her own situation. Most times, she didn't blame Damien, how was he to know after all? But there was sometimes, a rare moment every now and then, when she would become so angry at him as she thought of all of the things she lost.
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"I think at first he was....but a few years of hell will change your perspective on things..." he said with a shrug, "I think he was bitter and grateful. Damien had been through enough hell in his life and so had Keira by that point. I think no matter what there will always be the "why me" factor but overall I think he's kept an amazingly positive outlook on life. " he added, knowing it could've ended much worse for his childhood friend than it did.
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Caelynne nodded as she took a quiet moment to think through his words. She wondered what kind of person could take something so terrible in their life and learn something positive and still be so... well still move on and do their best to overcome it. She wished she was more like Jeremy's friend. She bet Daniel didn't have reoccuring nightmares where he woke up screaming and flailing. She bet that he didn't have problems when alone in the dark, or when people mentioned doctors. All of this stuff that was wrong with her, she bet didn't affect him. She wanted to be like him. Instead she was this... weak, broken shell of a girl who didn't know what she was doing or what was going to happen to her next. "How does he do it do you think?" She asked Jeremy, speaking up quietly. "Just live each day like everything's okay?"
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Jeremy thought over her question for a moment, "I think he figures as if the worst has already happened to him. There isn't much else they could do to him. Each person deals differently though. Carol put up a wall, Damien plays it off, Keira is very open and happy but she isn't big on trust, Sam hides from new people....Daniel sees life as if he got a second chance and he isn't going to let anything stop him from living it to the fullest." He explained softly, "I think with him also having people to talk to helped a lot. Actually for all of them..." he added as a side note with a small shrug, knowing he'd never push her to open up to him until she was ready. If she was never ready that was fine too. He just wanted her to be happy....
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Caelynne sorted quietly through the new information Jeremy gave her as she laid there. What would talking about it achieve? Besides bring up memories best forgotten. She knew she wasn't the only one with a terrible past, but looking at all of them and how... well normal they were for the most part almost made her envious. She wanted to scream that it wasn't fair, but who was she to say that it was? How would screaming at the supposed unfairness of it help her situation? Sighing, she rubbed at her eyes as she tried to process it all and think on what to do.

"I never talk about it because it's hard to talk about. I don't remember much of it. Damien said he found me drenched and covered in blood. I don't think most of it was mine though." She admitted quietly. Damien had always shielded his sister from that part, not telling her of the people she had killed before she blacked out when snapped. Kill wasn't even the correct term, slaughter would be closer. It had made even his hardened self nauseaus.
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Jermey nodded a little as she explained, rubbing her arm gently, "Its never easy talking about something horrible that happened. For some people though its just easier to have someone else who understands what happened. I remember when Sammy came to us at first. She spoke to no one...and she'd scream bloody murder if anyone tried to come near her besides myself or Lizbeth. It took us about half a day to convice her to let us wash the blood and dirt off and change her clothes. About a week before she'd even talk to me. I just had a shadow...." He gave her a small smile and a shrug, knowing Samantha was still a shy girl but she opened up so much when he was on his own with her. Cay had seen that difference that morning. "What I'm saying is each person has a different timeframe of when they want to talk or open up about it. Each person has a different way of dealing...." He said with a simple shrug.
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Thinking about it, Caelynne was silent for a couple of moments. She seemed to be far away from the distance in her blue eyes as she suddenly spoke up silently. "We were getting ready for bed, Torrin and I. After mom had kicked me out for getting pregnant at 17 his parents happily took me in. They were such sweet, kind people and I loved them like they were my own parents. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I heard this awful scream. Before I knew what was going on, Torrin barged into the bathroom and was tugging me out. I was so lost. We didn't get far. Only to the living room where I saw his mother gunned down in cold blood. I was screaming as they yanked Torrin away from me and it was the last thing I saw before the knocked me out." She whispered.

"When I woke up again, I was all alone in this cold room. I could hear screaming all around me and it was terrible. I was terrified. The door opened and this terrible man yanked me up by my arm and pulled me into this large white room. There was my mom and dad as well as Torrin. He threw me towards them as this woman walked in. She came up to me and started talking about how my brother was a bad person and that I needed to be better and him and take his place. I had no idea what they were talking about. She said I needed to use my ability and help them and I denied having it. I always did. Damien had always accepted it but I never did. They threatened to kill me and I still denied it. I don't know why but I did. They scared me so much. I just wanted to go home. Before I knew it, they yanked Torrin by his hair and had slit his throat." She choked at the memory as grief assaulted her.

"I couldn't move or think. I could only scream as I watched him die in front of me by choking on his own blood. There he was. Gone like that. They yanked me by the arm and threw me back into my cell and let me sit there and think about it. Told me that next would be my parents and my child.

"I never got to see my dad again. He was killed that night when one of the men touched my mom and he fought him. The next day mom and I were placed into the same cell. She apologized to me then. Told me that she forgave me and that she loved me. When I was asked to cooperate again I still told them no. I don't know why. I knew what they would do." She cried silently as she relived the experience. "Mom's death was so slow. They tortured her for hours and I can still hear her screaming." She shuddered as she curled in towards Jeremy. "That wasn't even the worst of it. That started the next day. They... they threw me into the barracks where they kept their little group of soldiers and..." she full out sobbed now as she buried her face into Jeremy's chest, hands clutching at his arms. It was obvious she wouldn't be finishing the rest of the tale for a while.
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Jeremy was surprised as she opened up to him, but stayed quiet as she told him the heart breaking tale of what she'd been through. He'd gotten bits and pieces from Damien throughout the year but hearing the story in almost its entirety made a huge diffrence. He felt kind of honored she'd opened up to him, even if he was still in a bit of shock. He just held her close, rubbing her back soothingly as she sobbed and clung to him. He didn't know what to say...figured he probably would make things worse at the moment...so instead he just sat there, letting her know he was there for her and let her get out whatever she needed to.
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Caelynne just laid there for a while as she clung to him and cried. Finally, she was able to get some control of herself as she pulled back a little and wiped at her eyes. "Afterwards," she sniffled as she tried to remove the watery tone from her voice so he could understand her. "I was thrown out and the insults and beatings began. I lost track of time as the same circle happened over and over again. It wasn't... it wasn't until they had beat me so bad that I... I..." Cay choked again as a fresh round of tears threatened to break through. "I lost my baby. And they immediately had to pull it out of me by surgery since they still wanted me alive because of Damien. It's why I don't like doctors. Not even an hour afterwards they threw me back to the wolves and that was the last thing I remembered before Damien showed up."
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Jeremy nodded as she continued after a while, staying silent for another few moments after she finished. When he finally spoke up his voice was quiet and gentle, "I know that was hard but I think it shows how you've healed even if you don't see it. The fact you opened up and talked to me? I feel really honored..." He admitted, running his fingers gently through her hair. For the first time in a long time he was at a loss for words. In a way he regretted ruining her calm mood but the fact she'd opened up to him meant so much.
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