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The Sublime Overlord of the Realm
Sigh was perfectly content to let the handsome man beside her caress her skin and kiss her. She leaned in to his every touch. She let her mind go as blank and relaxed as she could, her thoughts were as scattered as a cricket trapped in a house, singing only when it thinks no one is watching and knowing that it was being watched. She sighed contentedly, a soft smile curving across her face.

His whispered question tickled her neck with his breath. Then the question registered. Her face turned pink, her eyes blinked, and her butterflies began their war once more with showers of gory wings raining down inside her stomach. The should I/shouldn't I game began. I shouldn't because... I'm nervous, I don't know what I'm doing, and... I'm worried about the belladonna and how it will affect my body. I should because... I'm married, Shayne is going to be gentle with me (right?), I'm going to have to do so sooner or later, and getting over fear is probably the best thing to do because you shouldn't fear anything, especially anything about the person you love. If I'm willing to put my life on the line for him, why wouldn't I be willing to do this? We're married by the bonds of the blood that flows through our veins. I'm pretty sure that the magic in the ritual that binds us will last forever regardless if his love for me does. He'll probably feel it when I die... Sigh, you are not a coward. You are a strong woman, afraid of nothing! If you cannot do this and take hold of such a simple fear like this, how can you walk up to your father and demand ackowledgement? Should he refuse, how could you fight his demons? If you walk in fear, you'll die in fear because fear, not true strength, ruled you forevermore and you truly are a coward. By the Abyss, I'm terrified...

Her heart beat like a drum, her senses were strained like a too-tight lute string. The man beside her already had his shirt unbuttoned as she had made it in the garden. With the bed so close and no one left to accidentally interrupt them, her nerves were on overdrive. Her stomach clenched. Her fear was derived of two parts essentially. She feared the act. Sigh's mother being a prostitute and her father being a womanizer, she feared that, should she have a taste of it, she would become as they were. She did not want to live her life wholly dependent upon lust and desire which was why she had built herself up for 35 years to deny herself those things by denying love, lust, and desire. She had succeeded too... until now. The second reason was purely one of vanity. Though she had given up on the idea that she was beautiful or accepted her flaws, she feared that once Shayne saw the beginning and end of her scars, he would no longer love her. Oh she knew that he knew how far they traveled along the length of her body, but that vain fear seemed to hold her in its arms.

The silence tugged on her. She had not withdrawn from him and still leaned against him as before, but she had pulled herself in to think for the moments. It was obvious that she was mulling over his proposition as she stared at the fireplace, her eyes vacant and inward focused. She came back and turned enough to look at him, her eyes holding that innocently naive portion of her soul within their depths. I do want to. Her eyes flicked away as a red hue flashed across her cheeks and she held her lower lip in her teeth. Be... be gentle with me. She looked back at him again, at his lovely eyes. The terribly nervous woman tugged the shirt off over her head and dropped it on the floor. Her heart was hammering, her breath was quick through her lungs. Her arms raised to cover her chest out of simple habit though she was quite concerned that Shayne would reject her because of her inexperience and her scarred body. She shivered, not out of cold, but out of that nervousness.

Her pink scars danced over her torso, looking very much like a flame had sheered past her body, the fingers of it reached around half of her left breast and wrapped around her side and arm. They were like melded together stripes in places, irregularly shaped, but had a very recognizable pattern in their movements. She wished to find herself in Shayne's arms as soon as possible so she could cover herself with his body so she wouldn't have that feeling of being alone stamped so clearly in her mind. There were more should's than should not's and, if fear is the biggest of my should not's, then it is a fear I should conquer. She swallowed roughly even though her throat was suddenly feeling dry.
Edited by Kasuin, Sep 17 2011, 09:46 AM.
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Stuck Up Prigs and a Cultist Conspiracy · Phenvast City

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