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| the ant and the grasshopper; how true. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 17 2010, 08:46 PM (130 Views) | |
| CINCINNATUS | Apr 17 2010, 08:46 PM Post #1 |
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Patriot
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REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END THE BRITISH VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food. The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London. In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper. Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they have tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards. A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrels's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug 'illness'. The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK. The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats. The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister. The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom. The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds. THE END |
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quote by me "an illusion only works, when one is ignorant to its operation" Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad. ENGLAND FOREVER ISLAMIC STATE NEVER. | |
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| Deleted User | Apr 17 2010, 08:50 PM Post #2 |
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Deleted User
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TRUE TRUE |
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| Deleted User | Apr 17 2010, 08:52 PM Post #3 |
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Deleted User
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Good stuff. |
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| BeanLaden | Apr 17 2010, 08:54 PM Post #4 |
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Member
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Dont think shakespear couldve put it that well great post made me laugh |
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| Deleted User | Apr 17 2010, 09:13 PM Post #5 |
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Deleted User
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nice one mate
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| Deleted User | Apr 17 2010, 09:19 PM Post #6 |
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Deleted User
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How much closer to the truth can you get? You gave Orwells 'Animal Farm' a run for its money there. Cracking stuff!! |
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| Deleted User | Apr 17 2010, 09:22 PM Post #7 |
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Deleted User
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I could laugh if it wasn't so right. Although I did laugh anyway
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| Deleted User | Apr 17 2010, 09:32 PM Post #8 |
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Deleted User
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This would be funny if this wasn't the truth. |
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| guypatriot | Apr 17 2010, 09:55 PM Post #9 |
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This is a clear case of Grasshopperphobia on your part C. Watch out you will have the Lefties 'hopping' mad with your comments. Although your words will sit well with Squirrels who I have it on good authority say that Leftists are the only 'nuts' they don't like. |
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| Bob England | Apr 17 2010, 10:03 PM Post #10 |
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Kafir
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Excellent read but sadly so true!
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| Deleted User | Apr 17 2010, 10:08 PM Post #11 |
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Deleted User
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send the cats and the grasshoppers home. thats what i say. |
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| human target | Apr 17 2010, 10:15 PM Post #12 |
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or if you prefer the version from futurerama It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you? |
![]() "All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent." -Thomas Jefferson | |
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| Heathen | Apr 17 2010, 10:19 PM Post #13 |
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Member
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A wonderful but truly sad story |
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Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil – Thomas Mann The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil.... is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke All political parties must be held responsible, and that takes a strong grassroot movement! - Tim Phillips | |
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| CINCINNATUS | Apr 17 2010, 10:49 PM Post #14 |
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Patriot
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sorry gys i didnt write it wish i had of done was sent it about 2 years ago its on the net i just rembered it today and though it would be liked lol http://lastditch.typepad.com/lastditch/2009/04/the-squirrel-and-the-grasshopper-.html american version here, i did read once it started in austraila from maybe some goverment offical. |
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quote by me "an illusion only works, when one is ignorant to its operation" Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad. ENGLAND FOREVER ISLAMIC STATE NEVER. | |
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