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the ant and the grasshopper; how true.
Topic Started: Apr 17 2010, 08:46 PM (130 Views)
CINCINNATUS
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Patriot
REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and
improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END


THE BRITISH VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the
squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and
demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The
BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts
to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with
food.

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country
of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have
plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council
of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a
cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a
multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an
interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has got rich off the backs of
grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him
pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner
London.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined
for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his
home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper
did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it
and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.

The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of
society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed
retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.
The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home
for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had
to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they have tried to blow
up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and
attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them
pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return
them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face
death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from
peoples credit cards.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the
squirrels's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house
he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house.
He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the
grasshoppers drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since
arrival in UK.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get
money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he
has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation
service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea
pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the
obvious, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is
increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching
Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for
failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame
it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair
arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.
They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed
when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United
Kingdom.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the
burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit
cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and
they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in
government funds.

THE END
quote by me "an illusion only works, when one is ignorant to its operation"


Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad.

ENGLAND FOREVER ISLAMIC STATE NEVER.
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Deleted User
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TRUE TRUE
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Deleted User
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Good stuff.
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BeanLaden
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Dont think shakespear couldve put it that well :D

great post made me laugh
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Deleted User
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nice one mate ;)
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Deleted User
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How much closer to the truth can you get?

You gave Orwells 'Animal Farm' a run for its money there.

Cracking stuff!!
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Deleted User
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I could laugh if it wasn't so right.

Although I did laugh anyway :D
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Deleted User
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This would be funny if this wasn't the truth.
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guypatriot
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This is a clear case of Grasshopperphobia on your part C. Watch out you will have the Lefties 'hopping' mad with your comments. Although your words will sit well with Squirrels who I have it on good authority say that Leftists are the only 'nuts' they don't like.
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Bob England
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Kafir
Excellent read but sadly so true! :ermm:
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Deleted User
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send the cats and the grasshoppers home. thats what i say.
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human target
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or if you prefer the version from futurerama

It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?
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"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent." -Thomas Jefferson
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Heathen
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A wonderful but truly sad story
Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil – Thomas Mann

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil.... is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke

All political parties must be held responsible, and that takes a strong grassroot movement! - Tim Phillips
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CINCINNATUS
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sorry gys i didnt write it wish i had of done was sent it about 2 years ago its on the net i just rembered it today and though it would be liked lol
http://lastditch.typepad.com/lastditch/2009/04/the-squirrel-and-the-grasshopper-.html american version here, i did read once it started in austraila from maybe some goverment offical.
quote by me "an illusion only works, when one is ignorant to its operation"


Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad.

ENGLAND FOREVER ISLAMIC STATE NEVER.
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