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But i Digress; Master Roshi's school for the gifted
Topic Started: Jul 10 2009, 04:09 PM (112 Views)
Balthazar
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day 1 of 5: 1,041 words

Once again I awake to the blistering sunshine beating down upon my face, what I wouldn’t give for a nice, cloudy day without rain. Looking over at my prey from the previous night, the brunette haired girl from the grocery store slept in quiet satisfaction, a stark contrast to the volume she was at just hours ago. Leaving her my hallmark purple rose, I was unsure if I would visit the young Jessica again, but I was certainly leaning towards a yes. As I exited the apartment complex she lived in, I decided it was time for a snack of a more mundane variety and made my way over to a quaint little outdoor café. The barista brought me a piping hot cup of tea and few slices of decently made banana bread, two thing generally hard to find where I come from. While enjoying my morning snack, my thoughts trailed off to my home. I’m not particularly fond of it, but home is really the only word for it, it’s not as if there is anywhere else I truly belong. I thought of my old teacher, master Tariq, the man (I used the word man loosely when talking of the denizens of hell) who taught me all I know of archeology. I spent the formative years of my learning mostly examining artifacts that had already been recovered. Cleaning, cataloging, even sometimes “Borrowing” them, it was rather painstaking but after awhile I found that I had not only a knack for interpreting ancient dialects, but my patience had grown, at least when dealing with objects. It wasn’t until the better part of a decade had passed that master Tariq actually took me out into the field to work on a live dig. When I inquired about the partner he normally took with him (his old apprentice whose name escapes me at the moment) he informed me that bandits had murdered him while Tariq was away and taken control of the dig site. Master Tariq was never one to have a great deal of patience with people and this affront would not be left to pass, he had claimed the site months ago and no one would simply take it from him.

I began to see my place in all this; I was more of a convenience than anything else. Master Tariq was not much of a fighter, but he was well known for finding ways of discouraging people from causing him grief, something these bandits were blissfully unaware of. I wasn’t there to interpret or even to help clean and catalog, I was his answer to unwelcome guests on what was temporarily his land. Such work was not unknown to me, though few in number, we full blooded demons are widely known for our combat prowess. It was a small disappointment at first; I thought my hard work in the warehouse was actually paying off, but then the harsh reminder that I was only another tool for master Tariq set in once again. Such was my place, for now, as long as I still enjoyed my work and master Tariq kept supplying me with new treasures to play with then I’d be his little thug and at this point, I needed someone to take my anger out on anyway.

The whole trip over he wouldn’t shut up about how foolish they were for interrupting his work, how much they’d regret it, how big a hassle it was to deal with annoyances like this, etc… etc… etc… I started to long for the silence of my warehouse. Finally we arrived after what seemed like hours, it was the longest half hour of my life. Strange thing was, the place was deserted, couldn’t spot a soul around, at least not at first. They were crafty, I’ll grant them that. There were pieces of my master’s old apprentice littering the grounds, they tore him to shreds. The scent of blood in the air was obvious, it left a bittersweet, copper taste in my mouth, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it, besides, that guy was a real prick anyway, no appreciation for the work. Suddenly, there was an abundance of laughter in the air as several figures made their presence known to us. “Ah look, our gracious host has brought us another plaything to decorate our new home with. If this one is more entertaining than the last it should buy you another month or so to pay up and if not, well you had just better hope he’s better than the last one you brought us” Before I could even so much as ask master Tariq what they meant by all this I was beset upon by some the goons that seemed so intent on having a good time at my expense. Momentarily distracted by what their apparent leader had said, I turned to look at my old master only to see him just standing there, watching them assault me. That could have been the end of my journey; I could have ended up like so many of the artifacts I seek, lost to the winds of time. That could have been what happened, but it wasn’t the case. The fools were so used to having fun that they let their joy override their caution. Surrounding me, they attempted to burn me alive, they seemed to be very fluent with this maneuver and I had no time to escape. It wasn’t until I realized just what they were firing at me that I stopped looking for a way out and let them hit me unopposed. The torrent of flame obscured all sight, the fools couldn’t see that the flames weren’t harming me, but rather dancing across my skin like water. Drawing some energy from the flames, I wouldn’t allow them to make another mistake like this one. Lashing out from the flames, three of them went down before they even stopped firing at me. Those that had the ability to flee did so and there was only one reason I did not pursue them and he was still standing there, frozen in shock. I can still feel the warmth of his blood pouring through my fingers, it was exquisite.
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Balthazar
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Day 2 of 5: 1,001 words

I watched with sick glee as the life faded from Tariq’s eyes. Spurts of sanguine liquid came from every orifice in his head as I choked the life from him. Finally the twitching and pitiful clawing stopped and he went limp, all too soon my revenge was taken from me. The gravity of the situation started to settle on me. Tariq was a personal historian for the king of demons himself and who knows who those bandits were. I was going to have to account for my actions and something told me it wasn’t going to be as simple as I had hoped. Fortunately, one of the fools I struck down was not quite dead yet. When I pressed him for information he wasn’t very forthcoming, that all changed about ten minutes and four broken bones later, you’d be amazed at how hot demon fire can get. “Tariq owes the Archduke Alexi a substantial sum. He’s supposed to pay in high quality relics, but the greedy bastard has been holding out on the archduke and he sent us to collect. Tariq said he’d need some time to get his things in order and when we threatened him, he offered the two of you as entertainment to occupy us until he was ready.” I did what I could to staunch the bleeding of his wounds; with him talking I didn’t want any accidents now. “I don’t understand why did Tariq need to pay Alexi? Furthermore, what did Alexi even want with the relics?” he hesitated at first, then I began moving a small orb of fire towards his eye socket and he had a change of heart. “Archduke Alexi wishes to make a power play for the throne, he seeks powerful relics to help put that filthy has been that you call a king in his rightful place. He funds Tariq’s digs, but gets first claim to anything he finds. The old codger must’ve finally gone insane to think he’d get away with holding out on Archduke Alexi.” I took his left eye, it wasn’t fast and it wasn’t pretty, but I did it nonetheless. “That was for the “has been” comment you worm. Now give me one good reason why I should believe you before I take the rest of my frustrations out on you.” When he was done screaming and begging for his life he continued “I can prove it! Each of us is given one of the Archduke’s personal seals to aid us in our work; most people cooperate when they learn their dealing with the Archduke’s henchmen. That’s not all either, I know where the Archduke keeps his private stash of all the relics that he’s been collecting, more than once I’ve had to lug crate after crate into that chamber.” I shot him a sly grin “If what you say is true, you may just live, but if you’re lying, you’ll wish I had killed you now.” Taking a length of chain from the car I had ridden her in, I chained the pathetic excuse for life up and threw him in the back.

I drove straight to the royal palace, well that’s not entirely accurate; it would be more accurate to say that I drove straight through the royal palace. I feared the Archduke had eyes around the palace and I couldn’t risk getting caught so I drove my way to the base of his majesty’s staircase. It spans thousands of steps, but at the top is King Dabura himself and I felt slightly better knowing he could see me, I figured the Archduke’s thugs wouldn’t harm another demon right in front of him. I thought about flying up towards him or perhaps even simply transporting us up to the top, but Dabura respects those that walk each step, plus I felt like dragging him up these steps was more than a little appropriate. His moaning stopped after the first few hundred steps, which was good as he is very annoying. Upon reaching the top I was greeted by a rather warm smile and applause by our grand king. “So do tell, why have you come here, crashing into my palace with such haste and yet taking the time to walk every step before you?” “My lord, I come bearing both ill news and a gift in hopes of being granted a pardon.” “And what exactly is it that you need a pardon for young one?” “I have committed the high crime of murdering your personal historian my lord, but I can assure you there is an explanation.” After hearing this, his demeanor changed, he was much more somber and I felt as though he went from interested king to judge in the blink of an eye. “He was a traitor my king, and more than that, he was aiding those that seek to take both your crown and your life!” A gasp overcame almost all present before the king. The Archduke exclaimed “That is preposterous! No one could topple our great kin…” “Silence!” My voice echoed through the chamber. “I will not be spoken too in such a manner by your kind Alexi!” “What proof have you brought to explain these claims?” The king was surprisingly calm for someone who just learned his life may be in danger. “I’ve brought one of the traitor’s conspirators to turn sides in the hopes of saving his own life. Now tell them what you told me.” I brought forward my prisoner, one eyed and having most of the bones in his right arm shattered, he was still able to talk. After recalling his tale to the audience before him, the Archduke shouted in protest “Why I’ve never even seen this creature before, he lies for this other one.” “Then explain why he has this, your eminence.” There was no mistaking the sarcasm in my voice as I tore a stone tablet from a chain on my prisoner’s throat; it bore the seal of the Archduke’s own family crest.
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Balthazar
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Day 3 of 5: 1,014 words

“This must be some kind of trick!” The Archduke exclaimed. Prodding my prisoner he gave up the location of the relics to be a hidden chamber near the throne room itself. The king rose from his throne “Guards, watch these two, the Archduke and I are going for a short walk.” With that, he and Alexi went off to go and see the truth about this alleged cache of weapon like relics that the Archduke allegedly possessed. Funny thing is, only the king returned from the little “walk” they took together. “I find myself in need of a new Archduke, as well as a new personal historian. You are under qualified for the former, but if you desire it, the latter position is yours.” “It would be an honor my king, but if I may be so bold? What of the missing relics?” He just gave that sly smile again “Take a few days off from work, enjoy the relaxation, I’m sure once you return you’ll find all of the relics were merely misplaced and have been returned to your new warehouse. Also, take this with you, it is your commission now and you will be directly responsible for those artifacts and I can’t have you defending yourself with nothing more than a claw and witty insults no can I?” That being said, he handed me a sword, a rapier I believe it is called, made from the blackest metal I had ever seen. Its weight was next to nothing and yet it was clear to any casual examiner that it was of unmatched quality. I had nearly forgotten about the man I had chained up beside me until I turned to leave. “My king, if I may bother you for just a moment longer, I feel as though it will be important to train an assistant to aid me in my collection duties. Do you have any thoughts on the subject?” Subtly twitching my eyes towards my captive, he easily noticed my plan “I’m sure any that you choose will do fine, but they will be under your supervision.” Using my new gift, I was able to slice through the chains that bound him as easily as if I was swinging through the air. “You are no longer my captive, now you can come with me on your own, or you can stay and take your chances, it’s your call.” Such was how my duties as personal historian and head archeologist to the king of all demons began.

“Sir… SIR! Are you feeling alright?” The barista jostled me out of my fond memory; apparently I had spent the better part of thirty minutes staring off into the distance. “My apologies my good man, I sometimes get a little lost in thought and if it wasn’t for good people like you who knows how much time I’d waste like that ha-ha. Would you be so kind as to bring me a fresh cup of tea?” Scuttling off inside to pour me a fresh cup, I utilized my teleportation abilities to leave to another part of town. I don’t normally mind paying the petty human fees, but he should have known better than to touch me. My timing couldn’t have been better though, just as I materialized I noticed several men getting out a vehicle with very disappointed looks on their faces and since they looked like the fighter types (the training gi’s and weapons were a good clue) I decided to see what had them so down, maybe there was some action somewhere I could get mixed up in. “Well we heard that the legendary turtle hermit, master Roshi had built a house at a nearby lake and we went there seek his training, but he refused us all, said something about his heart not being in it anymore and to not bother him. Can you imagine a guy like him turning out like that? I mean he trained the Z fighters for heaven’s sake and now he’s just some cranky old man locked up in a shack. Such a shame and on top of it all, now we don’t know what to do to get stronger.” I had heard more than enough, if this turtle hermit had any secrets to share, I would be sure that I was the one he shared them with. It was however, getting late in the day, so I decided to return to my favorite little jazz club in the hopes of catching that buxom singer that I’ve had my eyes on for the past few weeks. My luck was holding steady as I managed to catch her right at the end of her set and using a little charm and some pilfered coin, I got backstage to entice my curvy wonder. After a short talk she agreed to meet me for a discreet dinner tomorrow night and I knew I was well on my way, you see sometimes it’s better to take things a little slower than to push too fast.

I decided to take the morning and investigate this so called turtle hermit and see what the best way to approach him was. It turned out to be a rather dull morning of observation. He mostly just moped around the house, watching television, complaining about his aches and pains, which boggled my mind as your wounds are supposed to be healed upon death. I found it hard to imagine that this was a famous martial arts master, let alone the man who trained the Z fighters, but after a little research in town I found that at one point, he was the world’s strongest fighter and the first person to ever climb Korin’s tower. This was too intriguing to pass up and my appetite for knowledge grew tenfold. Speaking of appetites, I had a dinner date tonight and while I expect this to only be a step along the path and not a race to the finish line, you can’t get to the finish line without walking the path first so all things in due time.
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Balthazar
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Day 4 of 5: 1,010 words

As I suspected, dinner went rather well and even though it ended with a simple goodnight kiss, this was a prey worth chasing and there’s something to be said for enjoying the thrill of the hunt. The following day I was making my way through town and happened upon a familiar face. I noticed my sword trainer, Trunks, coming out of a grocery and flying away. I managed to catch up to him and ask him what was going on and he mentioned that without anyone to train with he had some free time and his mother had seized the opportunity to send him to the store for groceries, man some things never change huh. “Well I tell you what, if you spring for dinner, I’ve got an afternoon to kill and wouldn’t mind a workout.” You should have seen his face, his eyes lit up like it was Christmas at the prospect of a training partner. “You’ve got yourself a deal Balthazar! Meet me at the largest of the capsule corporation buildings later today and when we’re through you can stay for dinner, my mom is a great cook.” Suddenly I had dinner plans again; people sure do like to eat around here, especially this Trunks fellow. It was a win/win situation for me; I didn’t have any plans with my darling jazz singer for a few days and still had no clue how to approach the turtle hermit so I may as well get a little practice.

I took the rest of the morning off; it was going to be a long afternoon so it seemed appropriate. The clock struck one and off I went toward the capsule corporation’s stomping grounds. Heading for the largest building and landing out front, Trunks was already inside, probably trying to avoid more chores. As I walked inside I almost dropped to my knees. The gravity in the room was more than double that of king Kai’s planet and that was already ten times the normal gravity of earth! I was having trouble walking without difficulty and when I found Trunks he was doing pushup after pushup without stopping. We must have spent five or six hours in there, it seemed to go by rather fast actually and then again I spent most of it getting thrown around the room and bouncing off the walls. The younger saiyan explained to me that his father would only train with him during times of crisis and other than that, he went off by himself most of the time, leaving Trunks to his own devices. As we got cleaned up for dinner I took the liberty of changing my appearance slightly as to avoid any unpleasant incidents with his mother. She turned out to be a very attractive woman, almost the equal of my favored jazz mistress, but my mind kept wandering back to what Trunks did to that boulder every time I thought about her. There were plenty of fish in the sea as they say and most of them don’t have sons that can slice me to ribbons so that settled that. “I have to tell you Trunks, that was some workout, I doubt I’ll ever get used to all that.” “Well that’s my baby boy, what else did you expect?” His mother was brimming with pride. “I just wish I could figure out how to get that old man to give me some lessons.” “What old man Balthazar?” Trunks inquired. “The old turtle hermit, master Roshi I think his name was, wasn’t he an old acquaintance of yours? He staying and a house near town but from what I heard he is refusing to teach anyone and just mopes around all day and doesn’t do much at all.” “HA! As if that old lecher could teach anyone anything nowadays. You should count yourself lucky that he wouldn’t train you so you don’t have to put up with his reprehensible behavior all the time. I swear, more than once I was on the verge of putting him out of my misery.” Bulma interjected quite forcefully into the conversation. She did however offer an important clue; she said he was a lecher. Perhaps the way into this particular man’s heart wasn’t his stomach, but something just a bit lower. It seemed as if he was a man after my own heart. This did present an interesting challenge however, how exactly to go about satisfying him with getting myself thrown out of heaven. Only one answer arose, subterfuge, I would have to pull the wool over someone’s eyes and if Bulma was his type, I’d need someone equally as appealing. Those thoughts were placed on the back burners once dinner was set though. The spread that she put out was almost enough to make me come back for more punishment from Trunks every day, almost. Strangely, Trunks’ father never joined us for dinner, though they said it was not out of the ordinary for him to be gone for days at a time, you could clearly see the concern in the boy’s eyes. As the night was winding down, my mind wandered back to my dilemma, who could I use to satiate the turtle hermit’s desires? It took me using my powers to make the woman around here even slightly playful and even more work to get them to close the deal and I don’t exactly have the time to start cultivating someone from scratch. Once I thought about it for long enough the answer was practically staring me in the face. It was such a high price to pay without knowing the return on the investment, but it was the only way I could think of. I would need to use my beloved jazz singer as my admission into the turtle hermit’s training. He had better make this worth it, if this doesn’t pan out I’m going to be more than a little cross with him and I’ll make sure that his aches and pains become more than the fiction of an old man.
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Balthazar
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Day 5 of 5: 1,022 words

It was time I paid a more formal visit to the aging turtle hermit and made my proposal. Bidding the Briefs family farewell for now, I made my way back into town to find that damn shack he built. Finally I landed on the makeshift porch and knocked on the door. “Go away, I’m not interested in teaching anybody!” the crabby bastard yelled through the door. “But sir, it was recommended I come here by Trunks and I promise I’m not wasting your time.” The door swung open slowly to reveal a very short aging man with a fluffy white beard and some out of place sunglasses. “Speak your peace son, but make it good, I don’t have all day and your cutting into my soaps.” I could barely hold my breakfast down at the sound of such a statement. “I believe I can offer you a mutually beneficial arrangement if you’re interested. You see I seek to learn as much as possible and I hear that you’ve been the teacher of many of the skills used by the Z fighters not to mention the methods they used to become such great fighters. Well I think I may know what ails you and it’s got nothing to do with old age. My proposition is simple, I’ll help cure what ails you and you help me learn something new, I’m not even picky, just something I don’t already know that might actually be useful.” I placed a small, brown sack next to him and stepped away “If you want a taste of what I mean then go ahead and look inside, it’s only a taste of what is to come.” He seemed surprisingly hesitant to look inside, though his distrust of my kind is understandable and I was only using him after all, but eventually his curiosity got the better of him and he took a gander inside. I swear, if he had jumped any higher he would have put a hole in the roof “Woo hoo my boy you’ve got yourself a deal, but on one condition. You told me this was just a taste; I want to know what you have in store for the grand finale of your proposal.” “If pictures are the taste then the finale is the real deal. No joke, you agree to the terms, I give you what you really want.” I was almost there; just a simple yes and I’d be off to work my magic. “You have yourself a deal young man, but if you don’t follow through then don’t come back.” “Don’t worry, I won’t disappoint, but for my plan to work you need to do something. When she arrives, give her this rose and the rest is up to you.” He looked a bit bewildered, but he accepted nonetheless and good thing too, I doubt I’d have a backup plan if he said no.

So I swallowed my pride and arrange a meet with my bevy of beauty, the jazz mistress. Time was of the essence and I laid it on think, I was a bit worried about using such power magic on a mere mortal, but my mind was set on this course and within the hour she was mine. She could barely contain herself (in more ways than one, that top of hers wasn’t cutting it) when I suddenly made an excuse that I had to go, family emergency, but that I’d love to spend tonight with her. She ate it up and before I left I gave her the turtle hermit’s address and a purple rose. For my trick to work she would need two roses, the one I gave her would keep her state of mind focused on the feelings and desires at hand and the second, the one I gave to the turtle hermit, would make him appear to her as though he were me. Well it was now out of my hands, I would wait until the early morning and spirit her away, back to her place and if all went well, she would remember it all as a fond dream.

Returning to the turtle hermit’s home around lunch time, I found him exercising in his living room. “Hehe well if it isn’t my savior come to greet a spry old man on a warm, sunny day.” It was an almost disturbing change in demeanor for him. “You came through and how my boy, I can’t thank you enough, but what I can do is give you what I promised. A deal is a deal after all and with this, all debts are paid, I hope it gives you a good read.” He handed me an old parchment scroll. Unfurling it, it looked like it was written in an obscure dialect, even the turtle hermit confessed that he had long since forgotten what was written on the scroll, but he knew it was something useful. Without my reference materials this will take months to decipher and that’s too long for me. I had thought about ringing the man’s neck, but I doubt I could’ve caught him with all the energy he seemed to have, instead I thought to take use of a new found friend one more time before my hospitality ran dry. Making my way to the capsule corporation compound, I enlisted Bulma’s help in this task. Thankfully, the library did have a private collection of ancient texts and they were actually in good order, something I’m not used to where I’m from. With the privacy of the library and the extensive works that it held, I was able to finish in a matter of hours. It was indeed a useful scroll, for it contained a long forgotten technique related to mastering the natural and fluid motions that a weapon is supposed to make. “When wielded by a master of this art, one should be unable to tell where steel ends and flesh begins, thus is the way.” It read like a bad comic book in reality, but what it said had some truth to it and now I’ve got the skills to prove it.
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Vega
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Balthazar
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