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Meet, greet, search, find; Yajirobe's Beans quest
Topic Started: Jun 25 2009, 04:31 PM (65 Views)
Ryuudo
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" What are we basing the explosion leading to our inevitable second death on, exactly? Because I have to tell you, Doc, this thing looks to me to be pretty impressive. On a sliding scale of one to ten, one being a big wheel and ten being the Hindenburg, this only looks to be about a two, two and a half. Two and three quarters tops. "

The Capsule Car had four huge wheels that rose in height to be even with my chest. Each was probably an arm span from one rubber edge to the other, repeated on each side of the vehicle twice. They were connected by struts to the body of the vehicle where the engine was housed; a few wires and pipes were sticking out through vents and holes that had been drilled for easier access. Still, the slight clutter did not detract from the thing's beauty.

"I've not yet run any actual trials. All of my old schematics ended in disaster, though, and finding the necessary materials in the Afterlife is much harder than it ever was back on Earth." I understood what he was saying, but I wasn't sure how the previous designs could have ended poorly if they were never constructed.

" Where would you rank this, then? "

He gave a thoughtful look over to his invention, rubbing his chin as he pondered scenarios of possible outcomes. "I believe this would be placed, one through ten, on a four. If it does explode, the cab should protect the rider from suffering any serious permanent damage." Stepping onto a foldout ladder that came down between the wheels closest to him, Doctor Briefs patted one of the intake valves. It felt off and clattered to the floor under the Capsule Car.

" Maybe you meant a five. " I crouched down, reached my arm as far under the thing as I could without dropping to my belly on the cold slab of concrete, and felt my fingertips graze the edge of the pipe. With a few more tries, I had gotten it close enough to pull the rest of the way out between my fingertips.

"No higher than a six."

" That's good. What happens to us if we die, sir? "

"If you're good? You go to Heaven, my boy. That's why you're here." He climbed into the bubble cockpit, leaving the door open as he began fiddling with gauges and levers.

I set the broken valve on the floor where there was a bit of extra leg room and grabbed the top part of the capsule, then swung my feet over and took my seat. There were straps to harness oneself in, and I fastened the buckle over my left shoulder after figuring out the combination. " I know that now. But what I meant to ask is, what happens if those that are dead expire in a fiery Capsule Car wreck? "

The engine purred to life and the car slithered forward until the Doc applied a foot to the brake pedal to steady the vehicle out. "You know, I don't think anyone has ever asked me that before. And I can't say it was ever at the forefront of my mind before you asked it. No one's told me."

" Any ideas? " At this point, I was gripping the dash with one hand and bracing the other against the spherical top of the dome we were sitting in. The Doc reached over and pulled the door shut, sealed it like we were in an airplane, then began strapping himself in to his seat before we got ready to roll. A button on the center console caused the garage door to began to roll on its track; light from outside flooded into the previously dark room, making both of us squint while our eyes adjusted.

"Not a one. This doesn't happen often, you know. But I must say . . ." He glanced at me and smiled mischieviously. "I'm curious to find out."

" Maybe should have told Mrs. Briefs to watch for us on the six o'clock news, " was the last thing I said before the Capsule Car peeled out of the garage, down the drive, and across the green-green turf of the land on the other side of the Pearly Gates.

"Agreed." He turned to me, taking his eyes of the road. "But you know what they say about hindsight." I half reached over when he turned his head to view me, fully ready to take the wheel just in case that loud mouthed anthropomorphic pig happened to be crossing the road -- not so much of a road as a large open plain of grass being compressed due to the hovering nature of the vehicle -- so as not to have to explain that situation to anyone.

So we're driving, and this talking pigs happens to walk in front of the car going sixty . . . it all sounded like the start to a very corny joke. A corny joke King Kai would have no doubt fallen in love with upon first listen, which might've been nice if I had been going to see him instead of Roshi.

It would've been a serious lower back pain to get the smell of burnt bacon out of the car, too. No one enjoys that.

But there was no explosion that would have warranted our appearance on the news later in the day. We arrived at another small home with a domed roof, only this one was painted a different color from all of the others the residents of the small planet at the end of Snake Way resided in. It was a faded pink hue not unlike the color of Strawberry Jolly Ranchers, which got me craving the candy I hadn't had since I was about seven years old for some reason. A candy not available for retail in the Afterlife.

Printed across the doorway in bright, bold, red letters were the words Kame House. It was the closest approximation to Master Roshi's old digs on Earth that they were able to provide the martial arts sensei here in Heaven.

The car pulled alongside the lone palm tree in the front yard and gently settled in to land. For being such a new model with no field tests, the repulser lifts worked smoothly. No herky-jerky motions for that puppy, and no second death for its two occupants. "Like I said, Ryuudo. No higher than a six."

" Good call, sir. Telling Mrs. Briefs would have worried her without good reason. "

"Indeed." He began dialing down the engines as I worked to open the door to the cab we were currently locked inside. "Go on out, I'll join you in a moment."

Following his advice to exit first, to exit before he had to climb across my lap to do so himself (awkward) I folded out the step ladder for his benefit and leapt off of the vehicle to land with casual grace. When I stood, I took a moment to peruse the surroundings, taking in the oddly placed palm tree, the huge boulder with a large number of dents embedded in the stone that stood off to the rear of the house that was probably used for some sort of training, the small by comparison sea turtle that was slowly making his way from the inside of the house to the outside to see what all the noise was, and the midget.

When my eyes stopped on him, I jumped back a pace or two.

"Ah, Chiaoutzu. Good to see you, boy. How have you and Tien been holding up? It's been a while since any of us have seen you two."

The shrimp held my gaze for an extended beat after Dr. Briefs had finished talking, then turned his head to view the good scientist with the bad memory. "We've been training."

"Always the workhorse, that Tien. I suppose there isn't much for you fellows to do while you're all stuck up here, now, is there?"

The one known as Chiaoutzu shook his head in the negative and returned his cold stare to my direction. I noticeably swallowed.

"Ah, yes, my friend. Chiaoutzu, this is Ryuudo, my next greatest apprentice after my lovely daughter Bulma. Ryuu, boy, this is one of the legendary Z Warriors from times of past. Meet Chiaoutzu. He and his close friend Tien fought vailiantly many times to find the Dragon Balls to aid the others, and even risked their lives a number of times to protect the entire planet from destruction at the hands of the saiyans and Cell. Go on, don't be shy."

Before I extended my right hand to shake, I looked down at it, winced, rubbed it off on one of the legs of my pants, and offered it to Chiaoutzu. He floated up, thrust his tiny hand into my own, and shook with the strength of ten or fifteen trained circus bears. " Nice to make your acquaintance. "

"Ryuudo here died trying to protect the planet Vegeta from an android with a death wish."
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Ryuudo
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"Why don't you take him and show him the self-titled Prince, then?" From the shadows of the house, another voice called. We all turned to view the source, and after a soft chuckle, a bald old man exited onto the porch. He folded his arms behind his back, stood with a slight hunch and bow legs, and sported a thick white mustache and beard.

"Because he seemed thrilled at the idea of meeting the esteemed sensei to all of Earth's greatest warriors." Doc Briefs looked from Roshi to me, then back. "Besides, giving him to Vegeta would be like tossing him to the wolves."

"Kami isn't here, you know."

"I didn't mean Kami, you old coot. I didn't mean Korin, either. I'm talking about you."

"I know what you're talking about, but I've stopped taking on new students after the hip replacement." He patted his side, wincing behind the large shades he sported. A beam of sun glared off of them as he smiled. "No good?"

"Not after the last time you came over to visit, no."

"It's not my fault your daughter is easy on the eyes." For someone so old and out of shape by outward appearances alone, the geezer moved across the lawn with surprising speed and stood grasping Dr. Briefs by one arm. "Has she finally, after all these years, come to her senses?"

Doctor Briefs and Chiaoutzu both responded at the exact same time.

"Not quite."

"Uh-uh."

I felt out of place and left out, wanting to chime in with a denial of my own. I held my tongue.

"You tell her I said she's missing out." Stepping away, he shook his hips front and back, side to side, waving his fists in the air in front of him in some ancient approximation of some sort of broke dance move. "Heh heh. Yamcha and Vegeta have nothing on me. Heh. Isn't that right?"

It took me a second to realize that he was looking at me what with not being able to see his eyes behind the sunglasses, but I put on a big smile and nodded my head firmly. " Wh- uh . . . yes. " Twice. " . . . she is. "

"What did you say your name was?"

"He didn't."

"Doctor Briefs said his name was Ryuudo."

"Quite right."

"Ryuudo, huh?" The old martial arts master once again looped his arms behind his back, one hand grasping the other at the wrist. He then started walking around me , giving me a good once over. Hopefully he knew the old saying about judging a book by its cover. After all, he looked like a wrinkled, smelly old man not worth wasting my time when there were clearly more powerful people up here willing to teach me things they had gathered over the course of their lives and after, yet I was still standing in front of him, ready to enter into his school of thought. "I'll think about it over lunch."

The pale faced little guy floated back to the ground and began heading for the house. "Everything should be ready shortly."

"Good, good. Hm."

"We came all this way for you to think about it? Come on, now. As a friend, do me a favor and honor his request. As a friend that owes me after the stunt you pulled with my only daughter . . . "

"Oh, quit your bellyachin', old man! I'm going to train the boy. But first he needs to head out and find Yajirobe before we can even think about getting started."

"What?"

"Mmhmm."

"Why?"

"Because--"

" Where can I find him? " It was all well and good that the doc was fighting on my behalf to make things easier, but that wasn't going to endear me any to Master Roshi. If he requested something of me, I had no qualms about setting out to do any task placed before me if it meant he would teach me any and everything he knew.

"He's got a small field a good hike and a half north of here. You'll either find him tending the new batch of crops or inside that small hut he likes to call a home."

"Some nerve you have. I offered to give you one of the larger estate Capsule Houses."

"You keep talking, you soft-headed ninny. While we wait for him, I'm going to school you in gin and make you wish you never died."

" What do you want me to do once I reach him, sir? "

"Ask him for one of his beans, of course. Then hurry on back here and we can get started. Once you have the bean, there's nothing I can't throw out at you in the name of increasing your fighting prowess."

"I'm sure you'll find something." Dr. Briefs laughed and gave me a wave. "I'll be here when you return."

" Thank you again, Doc, and thank you, Master Roshi, for giving me this opportunity. I'll be back before you know it. " With that, I set off north of the new and slightly improved Kame House to Yajirobe's hut and field in order to find a senzu bean. If Dr. Briefs hadn't gone along with the request, I would have thought Roshi was sending me on a wild goose chase. Huts, fields, crops and beans, it sounded like a big joke to pick on the new guy.

"That should get him out of our hair for a while."

"You don't have hair."

"You know what I mean. Time for cards. I hope you brought your wallet."

"I told you for the last time, Roshi. I'm not going to use photos of my wife or my child as chips to throw into the pot and bet with. You can just forget about it already."

"Oh, ho, ho, ah, heh heh. I might stop asking, but I'm never going to forget about it."

"You never cease to disgust me."

"And Bulma never ceases to amaze me."

"Come on."

"Like fine wine."

"All right, now.”

"That I want to get in bed."

"Oh, that's enough."

"And sleep with.”

“For the love of the Eternal Dragon! I am standing right here, you know!”

"For an old guy, you would be surprised how much staying power I have. I could go for hours . . .”

"That’s enough! That’s more than enough!”

". . . days.”

"I hate you.”

“Millennia.”

"This is why you’re not getting invited to the Christmas party this year.”
An expert in hand to hand combat Master Roshi was said to be . . . that kind of sounds like Yoda. Either way, Yoda or not, the fact was still true. People talk about how he invented the Kamehameha Wave and taught Goku everything he knew. But what they don't talk about is his piss poor sense of direction. For everything he had going in his favor in terms of fighting prowess, he lacked tenfold in his ability to tell me where I would be able to find this Yajirobe fellow and get a bean or two from him in order to participate in my training.

I was told to head north and I had done just that. On the ground, I stayed as on course as possible, doing my best to take the most direct route in case north really happened to be northwest or northeast. Hopefully I would be able to spot the field if that were the case.

Mental note; learn how to fly. That Chiaoutzu fellow seemed to have a good grasp of it. Second mental note; befriend the tiny fighter. What had Doc Briefs called him? A Z Warrior? I vaguely remembered the name of Goku and his son, but this one was far off the grid. No one on Earth talks highly of Chiaoutzu or his as of yet to be seen friend Tien. I thought I might have had an idea on who the latter of that pair was in terms of Earth's history. After all, how many martial artists that have helped save the world sport three eyes without a monocle?

Then there was Krillin, the next best in terms of a star pupil if Goku was out of the running. Though short in stature -- not quite as drastic as the lack of Chiaoutzu's height -- he was talked about back home like he was a big guy, or at least one that had done big things. I guess being friends with the world's strongest has that sort of impact on a person. I had yet to meet him, however.

Who else had fought with Goku? Was this Yajirobe person another one of the Z Warriors?

North to west, then slowly southby southeast, I continued to look for the farm to no avail. I knew I should have borrowed-without-asking that Capsule Car. Maybe it had radar. Or sonar. Or GPS. I would settle for Tom-Tom right about now.

" If I were a bean farmer, where would I be--an? " Poor jokes make time go by faster.
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Kuhn Kyojaku
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Vegeta's Destroyer.
Ryuudo.
| 740 EXP // 100 Zenni. |
| Give him a one third senzu bean. |
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