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A Young Dr. Briefs; The Absent Minded Professor quest
Topic Started: Jun 15 2009, 03:14 PM (57 Views)
Ryuudo
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"I can't seem to find my glasses." Why didn't that statement come as any sort of surprise? Were all geniuses at times forgetful of almost any little thing in the course of their day to day life? Glasses, what time to be home for dinner, finding the socket wrench or the screwdriver, trying to remember what day of the week it was; knowing when to call it a day, when to let a spouse win a bickering contest, when to ask without being denied if they could then move back to the bedroom after spending almost a week sleeping on the sofa in the den. "I fear that I would lose my head if it wasn't stuck so. If only I could find something for my glasses, now, then we'd be in tip top shape. Dear, have you seen my glasses?"

Of course, Doctor Briefs and his wife did not seem the type to argue with each other. He was caught up in his work, though not too much, and mostly able to leave his wife to her own devices. She was almost as flighty as her husband, but was a mean cook and had a green thumb. Apparently she had a thing for knickknacks; where does one buy the odds and ends of decorating in Heaven, I wonder? Mrs. Briefs said it was a trade secret, which I assumed meant that if she told me, she would gather her daughter and her gossip gals together, take me out into the middle of an empty field, and no one would ever hear from me again. The sweet laugh that would no doubt follow her asking me if I wanted the bullet in the chest or in the head would make me feel somewhat better, I hope, because it meant that she wasn't whacking me because she didn't like me, but rather showing that she was hardcore into her trinket collection.

Her voice sang out from the kitchen in the domed domicile. "Did you check your head, love?"

He hadn't, but they weren't there, anyway. "Of course I did, sweets, that was the first place I looked."

" Uhm, sir? "

"Not now, Ryuudo, I'm thinking."

"What about the bedroom, cupcake?"

"No, but I remember just having them on me recently. When you came here, Ryuudo, was I wearing them or wasn't I? Do you remember?"

" You were wearing them, yes. But Doctor Brie-- "

"How about the bookshelf?"

"Looked there, too, sweat pea," he turned to me and said in a lower voice, "she doesn't have much in the way of faith for me, does she?"

Defeated, I shook my head. " It's not my place to judge, sir. "

"How about on your desk, cupcake?"

"That was the first place I looked, honey bunch."

Her blonde head poked out from the kitchen doorway, a smear of hot cake powder running across her forehead and one cheek. "I thought you said that your head was the first place you looked?"

"It was."

"Then how could your desk be the first place you looked, too?"

He glanced at me as if I had an answer that would satisfy her curiosity. The wide-eyed look I gave him did not bolster his spirits. " What he meant was that, uh, he . . . he, you know . . . has two eyes. For lookng. " With the situation smoothly handled, I turned from him to her and forced an overly plastic smile, grinding out a mirthless chuckle. " R-right, Doctor Briefs? "

He followed suit, smiling, nodding, and laughing himself, ushering his wife back into the kitchen to finish her baking. "Last time I checked, yes. Unless I lost one of those when I lost my glasses."

"Oh, snookums, that's not funny; you're getting so forgetful lately. I'm worried about you."

"Just make us our sandwiches, dear. The boy and I will do enough worrying for the three of us , I'm sure." He brushed her cheek with the pad of one thumb which only further served to spread the powder around.

"If you say so, handsome. Lunch will be ready in a couple of minutes."

"We appreciate it."

" Thanks, Mrs. Briefs. "

"Poor woman worries about me far too often. It's like she doesn't remember that all of us here are already dead, am I right? Now, where did I put those glasses?" Without looking, the doctor with a short term memory like a sieve removed a pair of glasses from where one of the arms had been tucked into the collar of his plain white tee-shirt and began to absently chew on the one of the arms. "They couldn't have gone far. It's not as though they sprouted legs and decidedly it was high time to go on strike, is it?" He took the glasses away from his mouth, away from the nervous habit, and used them to point at me. "Aha, that's a great idea, Ryuudo, why oh why have I never thought of it before! Genius! I'll design a pair of prescription glasses that do possess legs, legs and a limited power to follow the commands of the person that owns them, thus eliminating any further problems mankind could ever face when suffering from a bout of our often times obvious oblivious nature. You, my boy, are the best darned lab assistant I've ever had the pleasure of working with. Half the proceeds from my new design will go to a charity of your choice. How does that sound?"

" Sir, the glasses-- "

"Yes, yes, straight to work. Nose to the grind stone and all of that." He donned his bifocal eyes and moved quickly to the workbench set up just outside of the front door to begin. "I like your work ethic, boy. You're a pleasure to have around. A great pleasure. You remind me of a young me. Why don't you run along and go check on Mrs. Briefs while I begin drawing up the prelim blueprints. See if she needs help with lunch." Before I could walk away, he patted me on the shoulder and narrowed his eyes. "Keep your hands to yourself, though, Young Doctor Briefs. You may have your charm with an old coot like myself, but I'll have you know my wife won't take kindly to roaming hands, young man. Understand?"
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Ryuudo
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Frankly, sir, I'm a little bit shocked and a whole lot more than a little bit hurt at the mere suggestion.

“What's that? You don't think she's attractive because she's gotten up there in age?”

If it meant paving the way for me to swoop in and marry her, I’d find some way to get rid of you permanently, Doctor Briefs.

“That so, hm? Heh, now you’re starting to sound a little more like a young Master Roshi. Though, I suppose he’s just the same now that he’s older.”

Hasn’t changed much since he died?

“Hadn’t changed a lick in all the time he was alive, either. He’s a tough old coot. Used to be one of the strongest fighter on all of planet Earth.”

My ears perked up. Not like a dog’s, they didn’t stand on end or twitch or anything, I just mean to say that it caught my attention. If this Roshi guy was so strong, I wouldn’t mind running in to him up here. I think I’ve heard of him before. He used to be the guy that lived on an island out in the middle of nowhere, didn’t he?

“Kame House.”

Right. I’ve been. My parents took me there during the summer one time when I was five or six. Can’t say it was all that inspiring back then, an old pink house, but I really wish I would have taken the time to see it after I started my training. Feels like I would appreciate it more now. Maybe I’ll check it out when I’m . . . still up here because I’m dead. A sour grin tugged at the corners of my lips. This life after life thing was nice, sort of like an all expense paid vacation, but I could already tell that it was going to start to wear on me. No wonder spirits continuously tried to cross back into the plane of their former existence. One could enjoy themselves for the first few weeks, maybe even a month or two, but lose of contact with the outside world was the worst penalty of all. This was going to be a lot of fun. Fun like a root canal.

That’s what we get for dying.

Doctor Briefs nodded, but from my position crouched down at the side of the front door, back against the frame and my head sagging so much that my chin was pressed firmly against my chest, I did not see the motion. He, however, saw the gloomy sadness roll over me. “Say, how’d you like to go see him?”

This time when I say I perked up, I meant that I actually jumped to my feet and began looking around as if this mystical Master Roshi had somehow heard of my arrival and, impressed with the way I valiantly threw myself on that grenade known as Rosencrantz to rescue the Supreme Savior and his friends, wanted me to become his newest pupil. Are you kidding? That would be amaz-- wow. That would be wow, sir.

“I'll have to take your word for it, I'm afraid. The last time he came over to play a few hands of cards, he tried to hit on my daughter and her husband nearly broke both of his legs. Not a pretty sight at his age. Let’s go tell the old coot he still owes me a favor.”

Up to this point, I’d thought that he had, for some reason, been toying with me. Giving me false hope. Stringing me along until I had enough rope in order to better hang myself with. Then I remember that he was in Heaven and hadn’t done a single thing to let on that he was anything but a really nice, smart if not forgetful, caring older gentleman, and suddenly realized the universe wasn’t out to get me in every way, shape, or form. The idea of the never ending resort dawned on me again, but I pushed it to the back of my mind and nodded vigorously to the idea of going to find this Master Roshi friend of his as soon as possible. Running out of things to do was possible, sure, and exhausting all my options quickly would only lead to bad. But quick was a relative term when you were stuck in a place for the rest of eternity. Not a great way to look at paradise, but the truth of that statement holds both reliability and validity, something my college professor of psychology would have been happy I remembered. Unless I crossed over to the other side as a ghost, there was no going back. Brief trips would never be the same, not knowing all the things I did about how a ghost can interact with the world of the living.

“I thought you’d say that.” He set the few tools he’d been puttering around with on the table, took a dirty rag and wiped his hands, then nodded to the door of the house. I entered a few steps ahead of him, then waited in the living room to see where he was going. Couldn’t rightfully follow him into the bathroom, after all. “Come on, I’ll tell the Missus and we’ll head over to see him and I’ll make the necessary introductions. I left the new Capsule hover vehicle I’ve been tinkering with in the garage. Hopefully it won’t blow up on the way there.”

On our way through the kitchen, his wife accosted us and wouldn’t let us leave after she had spent the last couple of minutes half slaving over a hot over while making us the lunch she had promised. When Doctor Briefs pointed at that the other half of time she had spent with her head in the fridge as she made our sandwiches was quickly ignored, and after she gathered a few of the hot cakes into a disposable container – that felt like plastic but had the Capsule Corp. seal of approval for being the most environmentally friendly product on the market – and gave us our sandwiches wrapped in a paper towel for a throwaway dish, we exited the house into the garage. Doctor Briefs deposited his sandwich in the roll out spare refrigerator on the other side of the room, “If I ate every time she wanted me to, I would be as wide as a house, my boy,” then pulled back the sheet off of his newest creation.
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Kuhn Kyojaku
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Vegeta's Destroyer.
Ryuudo.
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