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| Speels is Coming!; Princess of the Shard Quest | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 16 2009, 04:14 PM (50 Views) | |
| Speels | Apr 16 2009, 04:14 PM Post #1 |
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(Using my easter egg!) Not too far from where Speels had chased down that mean bastard, if not somewhat cowardly, Yamcha the twenty fourth, stood the remants of a place the locals called the Devil's Castle. Apparently, the people around here were a down right creepy bunch. I mean the castle is called Devil's Castle and the desert it stands in is known as the Diablo Desert. Heh, what is next, a guy walking around trying to figure out his idenity by jumping through a time wormhole created from some dude's wristwatch and along with them is a sexcraving rape victim. Oh, and the guy oh so cleverly calls himself John Doe. Come on, how lame would that be. Almost as lame as trying to use irrelevant commentary as filler text. Anyway's, Speels is on his way to the castle. He had heard a rumor that an old friend had landed on Earth as was seeking to speak with him. Well, Speels wanted to look nice and spiffy for his old friend and Speels had been told that out at the Devil's Castle there was a very beautiful jewel that would complete Speels ensemble perfectly. However, it was quite difficult to obtain and you had to go all the way down into the dark and scary basement in order to find it. Speels stood outside the Devil's Castle's shattered and destroyed outter walls. This place must have been a beautiful place at one time. Speels could just imagine all the king's and queen's and the knights walking the corridors. Now, he would have to. Only he had not light, no weapons, and no damned clue where exactly he was going. He just knew, somewhere in this pile of rocks, there was a jewel he wanted. Thus, it was a jewel he would find. Speels looked up to the stars and admired their grace and beauty. Ok, ok, so I am lying. He is actually just wondering if the stories about the Earth's moon being made of cheese were true or more lies. Like that time someone had told him orange soda was even better than grape soda. LIARS! While orange soda is in fact, quite tasty, it does not hold a candle to grape soda. Oh my, what a battle ensued after that. Speels had forgotten that his friend Kel loved orange soda. It was a furious battle which raged on for days, finally, Speels placed the X in the proper place and after almost seventy two hours of tic tac toe, Speels was declared the victor of Kel. Cue Inner Monolouge! Ok Speels, remember the three dangers of this Devil's Castle. Let's see there are the Rodent's of Unusual Size, quicksand, and...and...curses. What was that third danger. Odd, what is that strange clicking noise? A moment later a stream of fire burst from the ground, singing poor Speels right on the old backside. He let out a yelp that would, as they say down south, curl your hair. Slapping at his own ass, Speels finally put the fire out. He raspberried at the fire spitting...thing. Miffed that his "bum" was still sore, he made his way down the first stair way he found. Oh man, it is sure dark down here. Scurrying sounds? Oh no, not the ROUS's. Now would not be a good time for those! Speels found a torch, and using the lighter he uh, borrowed from Buddy, he set the torch ablaze. The rats were huge but really, to be honest, Speels had seen much larger once in the sewer's of the Big Apple City. Seriously, have you seen those things? They looked like that Splinter guy from those Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles pajamas that Tundre always wore to bed. Speels reached out to pet one of the critters and gladly obliged. You see, we can make our enemies our friends if we only tried to be nice and talk to them. "YEOUCH!" The rat had taken a chunk of bubblegum flesh right from Speels crispy singed backside. Speels whipped around and drove the hot end of the torch right into the rat's eye. No doubt PETA will find out about this and file a lawsuit but damn it, that hurt! Speels continued down the spiral stairwell, deeper into the belly of this stone beast. Only one more test to go. The quicksand. Seriously, how can someone actually walk right into a quicksand pit. How dense must one be to fall for such a gag. That ladies and gentlemen is called Epic Foreshadowing! For not a moment later Speels found himself struggling against the suction of the quicksand. Seriously, this thing sucked more than a White House intern! Speels flailed his tiny little arms and lost his grip on the torch. "Hey, please don't tell the elf" (That there is 800 words on the nose) |
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| Speels | Apr 16 2009, 05:29 PM Post #2 |
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Speels tumbled through the air towards what must be, he was quite certain, his second descension into Hell. He landed hard on a pile of behead babydolls. What an odd place to have a random pile of dolls. Oh well, they saved his bacon this time for which he was quite thankful. Speels tumbled down the pile of dolls until he finally hit the floor. While there was some light coming in from somewhere, seeing was still going to be quite difficult in not impossible. Speels kicked himself for not hanging onto that torch. No, seriously, his leg detached from his body, went around behind him, and kicked Speels straight in the ass. The same ass which had already been singed and bitten on today. Granted that is a normal night for someone like Reina but for Speels that shit is just too kinky. Speels heard some water flowing nearby, he searched and soon found a small creek. Following it's stream Speels used the water as a bit of a guide to help him find his back out of here before anybody notices. "THOU FOOL. HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MY HOME!" Oh shit, this is bad. Big booming voice? Check. Speaking in old English? Check. Did you just shit yourself? Check. Twice. Then there can be no doubt about whose voice is echoing through the chamber. It is the voice of the Devil's Castle demon, Alucard! Speels, you idiot. The locals had warned you. They told you about the demon but you just would not listen would you. You stilly, stupid, stubborn little Majin! What? What was that? Transformation? You are novice and you turn more evil. Big deal! Yes you are Speels. You are evil. You are a full sixteen percent evil. Your evilness nearly doubled last saga. Pout all you like Speels but thems the facts. "ANSWER ME!" With a smile on his face Speels gleefully replied "Speels". "PREPARE THYSELVE FOR DEATH...SPEELS!" Shit, not again. The wall lifted and two tall and overly skinny men appeared. Even in this dim light, their skin seemed pale and their fingers looked unusually long. They seperated as the wall lowered back to its original place. They smiled wicked smiles as they glared at their cute, cuddly, and pink prey. Speels could hear them hiss and knew at once what he was dealing with. Vampires. But Vampires do not exist in this saga. I say bullocks to that, nobody said they could not so now they do! Speels eyed one of them down, Speels decided to call him Fluffy. The one Speels called the "Super Duper Ugly and Crazy One" or SDUCO for short, lunched at Speels. Speels let loose the deadliest fart known to man. He had just ate at the pizza shop before coming out here. Extra garlic. Mixed with the improvised KI blast, the bloodsucker was sent crashing into the wall. His friend did not seem to appreciate what happend. Speels blushed a little and an shrugged. He should not have eaten that extra slice on the road. Fluffy rushed at Speels, Speels smirked, just a little, and blasted him right between the eyes with a BOOM-erang. The vampire's face caved in from the impact of the blast. Speels did his happy dance is a mixture of the Running Man, the Tootsie Roll, and the Macarena. They just do not make blood sucking creatures like they used to. Speels turned his attention to the so called "magic wall" he patiently waited until the BOOM-erang reappeared in his hand. He fired it into the wall and ducked as the rubble went flying. Speels used the body of one of the vampires to float across the river. Majins, much like cats, are not fans of the water. Speels looked quite intense as he went deeper into the castle and passed the outer wall. He could sense Alucard was nearby. But where oh where has the little demon gone? Where or where can he be? Speels had a sneaking feeling in the pit of his stomach that the locals had pulled a fast one on him. Was there a jewel down here? Oh yes, Speels had no doubt about that. However, they were not trying to be friendly and help Speels. No, they were hoping he could kill the demon Alucard. Or maybe, they were cheering for the demon? Humans can be so confusing sometimes. He could smell the demon before he could see him. He smelled of molded bread and stale water and other things but Speels could not quite describe. Suffice to say, it was even worse than Saiyan breath! Now that, my friends is saying something. "Are you ready to die Speels?" "Been there, done that, was not impressed" Speels said with confidence....as a small amount of Majin urine escaped down his leg. Hey, it was only a small amount. It is not like he fully pissed himself. I mean, this is a DEMON we are talking about people. Scary shit. (834 words. Time to battle Alucard...after i escape something else) |
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| Biito | Apr 17 2009, 05:13 PM Post #3 |
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7% Good. 93% Bad Ass.
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Speels [ + 400 EXP // + 100 Zenni ] |
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2:28 PM Jul 11
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Summorien by Zeus00.
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2:28 PM Jul 11