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| Rosencrantz Horror Picture Show | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 15 2009, 05:15 PM (53 Views) | |
| Rosencrantz | Apr 15 2009, 05:15 PM Post #1 |
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The Mechanical Menace
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The Sleeping Princess Quest These events occur shortly after Rosencrantz' last run in with Benvolio . . . Immortality . . . is a relative thing; this Rosencrantz knew. Unfortunately for him, he would be reminded repeatedly in the run-down tavern. The succubus at his side seemed to enjoy chewing his ear off, not realizing exactly who she was talking to. The villainous vixen was covered head to toe in Hot Topic inspired wardrobe and sleeves of meaningless tattoos found through the parlor's flipbook, as if she simply pointed to anything related to Satan, witchcraft, or Amy Lee and said ' Gimme! Gimme! '. She must have assumed the Android fit in with her clique of Goth Lite Losers (or the GLL Corps as they are known in the DC Universe) due to his unusual get-up . . . and equally must have assumed that he was interested by the smile on his face. Bitch, it's more-or-less a permanent feature. " God, I'm just looking for the right vampire to come along and suck my neck like it's never been sucked before, " She whined, downing her shot of God knows what in a single motion afterwards. " I mean, I don't want to go easy. I want to put up a fight and be like ' No, no . . . YES, YES! ' and . . . God, " She tilted her head backwards, letting her hair, which gained its red and green color through a bottle, spill across her shoulders. " You're not a vampire, are you? " And then her head smashed into the bar counter, the drunk bitch, who had watched The Craft too many times and masturbated feverishly to the glamor spells wishing she too could have such power, groaned and folded her arms on top the counter to create a pillow for her mug. " Vampires are real . . . I know they are. Why can't I find me the right Nosferatu? Ugh . . . " Letting people talk was never Rosencrantz' thing, but his head was elsewhere. The fact of the matter is he came to this dive to recharge the batteries and run over stats in his head. The machine was more methodical than he came across, and perhaps even more dangerous for the fact that people assumed his actions were not calculated . . . but people never seemed to understand there had to be some method to the madness given his strategic use of moves in combat. And they probably never would. No, Rosencrantz was just an unpredictable monster, and as long as they kept thing that -- his ways would be a mystery to them. Besides, they weren't completely wrong. The sudden stop to the endless tirade about the wench's lust for immortality . . . and hunger to be screwed on top of an El Diablo to the hymn of Rob Zombie by a gimp in a Jason Vorhees mask (true story, she did rant on that) was like a jolt to the system. The mechanical menace paid her no mind though, instead for the first time realizing that there was something in his pocket. Reaching in, he removed two black egg-shaped creations that looked dead and lifeless. Apparently, when you switch from Kurokonwaku to Kiihakai you forget how to use your balls. The failed Testi-kis of Budgey Madgey would be launched over the purple padded shoulder of the Android, connecting with the jukebox and having a Fonz-like effect on it, forcing the music box to crank out Red Rider's " Lunatic Fringe ". Perhaps, it was Rosie's love to torment Benvolio that caused him to stand straight up from the bar stool and shrug his shoulders, 'causing his perfectly sculpted suit to fall on him in a flattering way. Reaching into his pocket he plucked the pair of Overkills from their safe spot and placed them on the bridge of his nose. Susie Depressing peered up to see Rosencrantz flashing her a smile -- no more wider than it had been throughout her entire conversation, but somehow more nauseating and heartless. It turned her on a bit, to be honest. It was the kind of smile Marilyn Manson had at his testimony hearings, and there's nothing that got a chick with daddy issues hotter than someone who reminded her of one of America's worst serial killers. In a Michael Jackson from the music video of Beat It fashion, Rosencrantz danced and snapped his fingers as he took his leave from the dumpy establishment. The knee-jerk response was of course to pivot on heel and take the place down in a fireworks show that would illuminate the Heavens and fill the neighboring streets with the stench of rotting corpses. Hell, he would have done it too if the man in the bad Dracula costume didn't rush right into him and knock the shades off. " Ah, vank you! " The stranger snatched the glasses off the sidewalk and put them on. The only thing worse than his sense of style was his bad Transylvanian accent, and taking the glasses Rosiepants had worked so hard to get . . . oh, that would not go over well. Peering over to the alley where the man had escaped from in such a rush, he saw a Nun slumped over against a dumpster with two bite marks in her neck. Oh, looky, looky! The topic of the day had manifested conveniently in his life. If only the dumb putz in the bar had gone on about how much she believed in hot nymphomaniacs with machine fetishes . . . if only. The brief glance away from the man in black had allowed him to escape. Escape with the glasses that Rosencrantz had earned. " Kill. Vamp. " Those were the only words that escaped Rosencrantz' lips. Someone else not named Buddy had earned the Android's ire tonight, and with an explosion of energy, the bar was annihilated -- not from a direct assault, but from the uprising of energy that poured forth from the machine as he rocketed into the night sky. [ Word Count - 1,020 ] |
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| Rosencrantz | Apr 15 2009, 05:57 PM Post #2 |
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The Mechanical Menace
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The stench of douchebaggery had led him to the Devil's Castle after first leading him to Benvolio's locker room and then to Kai's basement apartment in his mother's house. The sandstorms he had been accustomed to in the Diablo Desert seemed to subside in this particular area where, of course, thunder clouds reigned supreme. Outside the fiend's lair, Rosencrantz scoured the landscape and took some internal measurements. The clown's processors were running over time when it happened -- CRAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! A bolt of lightning fell from the skies, zigzagging throughout the darkness before landing its mark on the Android. As if punishment from the Gods, lightning had literally struck Rosencrantz. MALFUNCTION! MALFUNCTION! MALFUNCTION! The message flashed across the convulsing machine's monitor as it shook and rattled, daring to shut down permanently. The Android's neck twitched and cracked as impossible angles, the smile stretching to infinite lengths as he collapsed to a kneeling position in the sands. A wicked array of sparks flushed from his mouth, then his nostrils and eye sockets until they simply sprayed forth from the machine's orifices. " HA . . . HA . . . HAARRRRROOOO . . . HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" The pale hands of the Android reached to steady the unstable stem of metal and synthetic flesh that served as his neck. The way it gyrated and moved, it seemed destined to snap right off his body. MALFUNCTION! MALFUNCTION! MALFUNCTION! Blast you! He understood full well the error message, he did not need it repeated over and over! Black. Only for a moment, but a moment was more than enough. The display went totally black for our Android hero, indicating this model of zany would be shelved . . . and we could not simply do without our fix of Rosencrantz! Nay, nay! A mechanical fist was slammed into the sands resulting in a fountain of sand rising and blotting out his image. A sweeping aura surrounded him, swirling the grains around him like a miniature tornado that he sat directly in the eye of. Looking up, his eyes . . . dare I say more . . . crazed than ever? The beast of an aura hit its zenith before dying down, melding with the Android to become a constant outer layer of purple glow. The sands collapsed around him, leaving him covered in the stuff. Without another word, the malfunction contained, he engaged lift off and flew towards the castle . . . The heavy doors were as cliche as any story of a vampire could be, complete with a Gargoyle door knocker. Rosie was never the type for polite entrances, but he had full intent of socking the bastard straight in his fat mouth and taking the Overkills back and rocking them out once more. Hence, he took hold of the metal ring and pounded it against the large door and awaited, patiently, for it to open up. Door opened. Punch was thrown! And CONNECTED! A sudden release of energy swept the doors off their hinges, blowing them into the castle interior, as Rosencrantz stepped forward. He wrinkled his nose at the person he had punched, who was not in fact the son of a bitch that had robbed him of his shades. The riff raff in front of him with the hunchback was not his goal, but he had no problem interrogating him some. Snatching him off the floor by the collar of his butler-like suit, Rosencrantz lifted him up to eye level. " Trick or treat, BITCH, " He pulled the butler in close so he could get a good look at the eyes of the devil, and his name was Rosencrantz. Not fucking Alucard. " Now, smell my feet! " Shoving the man forward, he swept his leg into the air and brought it down into his ribs, knocking the hunchback into a standing candelabra. The candles nearly lit the scarlet drapes on fire, but the hunchback groaned and patted them out with his bare hands. " You . . . you're going to pay for entering my Master's chamber and causing such a ruckus! " He focused on his ribs, scooting over to the wall and clutching them in pain. " You're going to pay! " " What's going on, brother? " A red-headed woman in a maid's outfit entered the room. Devoid of any pigment in her flesh, she looked to be quite the ghoul. " Do we have company? " " Damn it, Janet! " The hunchback ordered. " Get back to work, before the Master sees us slacking! " " You always act like the sword of damocles is hanging over our heads, " She rolled our eyes. " I think the Master is asleep anyway! " " Well . . . tell him, " An orb appeared in the clown's palm, charged and readied. " That the great . . . " " ROSENCRANTZ! " A voice with a thick Transylvanian accent called as the lift lowered. The gated elevator allowed for the origin of the voice to be seen. It was the vampire from before dressed in -- " Oh no. " Oh, yes. Alucard pushed open the gate once the elevator had landed. Sauntering out in a pair of black high heels and fishnets, a boa around his neck and lips painted up (kind of like Rosie's!), this was a different man. Oh, and he sported the Overkills too just for extra creep factor. " Well, how do you do. I see you've met my faithful handyman -- " " Stop. " The orb faded from view and Rosencrantz instead buried his head in his palm. " Stop, now. " " He's just a little brought down -- " " Before this goes too far! " " Because when you knocked, " He licked his lips and winked. " He thought you were the . . . candyman. " " I should have seen this coming . . ., " He muttered, noting the other similarities that would have pointed to his night turning into a scene from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh, it wasn't that it was too crazy for him . . . it was just a sad rip-off that even he couldn't bare the cheese factor. Alucard sashayed straight pass Rosencrantz, walking along his decorative carpet and to a crimson throne which he laid in and perched his legs up on the arm to show off his long legs. " Don't get strung out by the way I look! Don't judge a book by it's . . . cover. I'm not much of a man by the light of the day . . . but by night, I'm one, " He lurched his back, thrusting his chest forward in a heaving manner. " HELL of a lover! " " First . . . my GLASSES! . . . NOW THIS! You will PAY for the memories you have destroyed! I am going to crush your balls and -- " " I'm just a sweet transvestiiiite, from TRAN . . . SEXUAL, TRANSYLVANIAAAAAAAAAAA! " " DIEEEEEE! " The Android lunged for the vampire, wrapping his hand around his throat and sending the two tumbling over the back of the throne. " STOP! QUOTING! MOVIES! " Oh, yeah. Irony? Rosencrantz knew not what it meant. [ Word Count - 1,223 ] |
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| Biito | Apr 17 2009, 05:18 PM Post #3 |
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7% Good. 93% Bad Ass.
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Rosencrantz [ + 800 EXP // + 100 Zenni ] |
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