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| How to Survive a Raptor Attack; 4 teh lulz I guess | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 28 2009, 04:56 PM (432 Views) | |
| Blade | Apr 28 2009, 04:56 PM Post #1 |
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Teen
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Rule 1: Never, ever being more than 20 feet away from a tire iron. Rule 2: Carrying an assault rifle at all times loaded with 100-round snail clips Rule 3: Driving around in an armored personnel carrier Rule 4: Keeping an hedgehog somewhere on you at all times. Possibly strapped to your head as a spiky helmet. Rule 5: Teaching your children the 'kill' spots on Raptors Rule 6: Wearing clean underwear at all times Rule 7: Keeping a copy of the Holy Bible on your person at all times as a last-resort bludgeoning tool Rule 8: Note that Raptors WILL BE ABLE TO SEE YOU if you stand still. Keep a cloaking device handy at all times. Rule 9: France surrendered to the Raptors, so don’t go there. The French are of no use against the Raptors. Rule 10: Keep adrenaline shots nearby. These will give you a temporary boost of energy that might save your life. Rule 11: Your best bet is to run with a group of 100, make lots of noise, and outrun all your companions... Rule 12: DON'T go into the long grass!!! If you know any, post them. The fate of the human race is in your hands... Edited by Blade, Apr 28 2009, 04:58 PM.
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| DinoFlame | Apr 29 2009, 12:42 PM Post #2 |
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Teen
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Hmm... What about: Never cary any edilble meat with you. I suggest becoming a zombie, or simply a living skeleton. |
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| Blade | Apr 29 2009, 06:30 PM Post #3 |
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Teen
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Know your ememy, watch Jurassic Park. Of course the survivers in that were much fitter than you so you have no chance. |
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| Tyrannotherium | Jun 1 2009, 08:07 PM Post #4 |
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Egg
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Never "go and check" anything that moves |
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| DinoFlame | Jun 1 2009, 08:13 PM Post #5 |
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Teen
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lol, True that! |
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| Blade | Jun 6 2009, 01:05 PM Post #6 |
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Teen
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How about... Find a way to transform yourself in an ankylosaurus. By the way, always know your enemy. Did you know Raptors were responsible for 9/11? |
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| Fed | Aug 2 2009, 08:07 AM Post #7 |
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Egg
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Hitler actually had a pet raptor that made him start the holocaust. Anyways: *any friendly looking chicken that approaches you could be a raptor in disguise *never pee in your pants *keep blood within your body at ALL times *keep away from people that look like Robert Muldoon *never make the mistake of hiding a candy bar in your underwear |
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8:23 AM Jul 11