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When is Sami Going to Get a Clue?, Domestic Abuse
Topic Started: May 25 2008, 11:45 PM (153 Views)
lovingneeray
Unregistered

I am sooo pissed with Days at the moment. I see Sami groveling to Lucas, as he sits there and calmly yells at her and calls her all sorts of names on screen. This is a violence that should not be condoned. I personally as a woman am affected by the usage of the term ***** (even this site does not condone the word, even though it was used on the soap!) Especially as a man relates or calls this to a woman he professes to love and care for. I see none of that in the dialogue that Lucas shoves down our throats as we watch his tirade against a married woman who legitimately had sex with her husband.......

To me this is a violence on screen that is being perpetrated against each and everyone of the women viewers watching. I am just fed up with the verbal abuse and attacks that happen on Days against women and none of us as viewers critically examining it. To me this is the true travesty, that Sami has existed in a relationship with Lucas that is just sooo abusive...when will it be Sami's turn to give back what she has been dealt by her so called love mate Lucas.
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lovingneeray
Unregistered

For those of you who don't know, here are some signs of abuse. All of which in my estimation is displayed by Sami in her relationship with Lucas.

You may be becoming or already are a victim of abuse if you:
Feel like you have to "walk on eggshells" to keep him from getting angry and are frightened by his temper.
Feel you can't live without him.
Stop seeing other friends or family, or give up activities you enjoy because he doesn't like them.
Are afraid to tell him your worries and feelings about the relationship.
Are often compliant because you are afraid to hurt his feelings; and have the urge to "rescue" him when he is troubled.
Feel that you are the only one who can help him and that you should try to "reform" him.
Find yourself apologizing to yourself or others for your partner's behaviour when you are treated badly.
Stop expressing opinions if he doesn't agree with them.
Stay because you feel he will kill himself if you leave.
Believe that his jealousy is a sign of love.
Have been kicked, hit, shoved, or had things thrown at you by him when he was jealous or angry.
Believe the critical things he says to make you feel bad about yourself.
Believe that there is something wrong with you if you don't enjoy the sexual things he makes you do.
Believe in the traditional ideas of what a man and a woman should be and do -- that the man makes the decisions and the woman pleases him.
(some people) Have been abused as a child or seen your mother abused.

Look out for men who:
Do not listen to you, ignore you or talk over you.
Sit or stand too close to you, making you uncomfortable and seem to enjoy it.
Do only what they want or push you to get what they want.
Express anger and violence towards women either through words or physically.
Have a bad attitude toward women.
Are overly possessive or jealous.
Drink or use drugs heavily.
Have a reputation for "scoring".
Reference: http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/abuse_signs.html
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Jiggs
Unregistered

I have a hard time thinking of Sami as an abuse victim (other than when she was EJ's victim). Sami has done horrible things to people. She is an abuser if anything. All I have to do is remember how she treated John - shooting him up with drugs and kicking him when he was down. That girl needs to be in an institution.
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EJAMI4ETERNITY
Unregistered

ITA! Great Post! I've always loved Sami for her Firey Spirit and Vivacious personality, but that all seems to have to dim around Lucas! She becomes Stepford Sami off to pls Lucas! I mean when you don't tell your so called soul mate things thet you tell your so called (insert R word here) that may be a warning flag! You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship, it ridiculous the way he treats her! I almost cheered out loud when Jawn finally defended her, and then her mom, Finally, for once. I can't believe it took Jawn to stand up for Sami this is something her family should have done years ago! It's a travesty that Sami could end up with someone who let her rot on death row! I still don't understand why she needs to change to be with Lucas Horton The great Victim Of Salem! If anything the little convict should be on his knees thanking God that Sami still wants to be in the same room with him let alone be with him! Lucas needs to stop acting like he's all that and grab some humility! OH and if he ever is abusive towards Sami in front of EJ calling her inappropriate degrading names Like: Lying, Cheating, Wh0re he had better run as fast as his little feet can take him!

This is a great Video that really show what emotional abuse is and how to tell the signs. This is an issue that because of the lack of physical scars often goes unoticed and all too often not taken seriously! Though millions and millions of women are effected everyday! Women need to know that it's not okay for someone who is supposed to love you to treat you this way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcmbXS_ISX8
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DissNDat
Unregistered

Sami and Lucas are most definitely in an abusive relationship which is why I cringe everytime anyone refers to the as a "supercouple". They are so dysfunctional as a couple and as a family (with Will) that they set every example of "What Not to do" in a relationship! I am sick of the wayLucas bully's and berate's her. I am also sick of her being too afraid to tell Lucas the truth which leads to much of his anger-that is a cycle of abuse and it has been going on since they were teenagers (at least Sami was.) I have watched this going on for so many years that it is redundant and just plain boring by now and Days should fix it or end it because it is now irritating to say the least. I was so hoping they would make Lucas into a stronger, more likable character and am disappointed that they didn't!
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chloesgramma
Unregistered

this was their perfect op to give him fiber and substance and make him likable....but nooope! He comes back having learned nothing from his absence. This is absolutely domestic abuse and has been for some time. I can only think they are going to write Lucas to drive Sami away with his harshness and unforgiving nature.
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nbcsoapgal
Unregistered

Sami changed she is just not a bad girl anymore, she has a little bit of both good and bad in her which makes her character interesting. She has been good for a while now. And so has EJ.

No Lucas on the other hand was just as bad as sami before. He doesn't neccassarily go to the lengths that Sami or Ej used to go to but the way he talks to the person he "loves" is ridiculous. It doesn't sound like love to me it sounds like verbal abuse.
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