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| Official Dashing Never Ending Sequel Chapter Book; Say it ten times fast. | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 26 2008, 06:01:41 PM (288 Views) | |
| balooneybob | Apr 26 2008, 06:01:41 PM Post #1 |
The Waffle Queen
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I have decided to concoct this NES chapter book because I thought it was best to start before the NES became as long as the other NES.... And also because a post of Rachel's made me curious as to why Gilligan and Corny were looking for the corn sword. So without furthur ado I give you 'The Official Dashing Never Ending Sequel Chapter Book'. The Official Dashing Never Ending Sequel Chapter Book - Chapters are divided into each 20 posts; ie) a standard page. - If I an missing a chapter please feel free to post your own summary here for me to add in... please!! - I may add linkage at some point, but will catch up first... - *NEW* Now with really really bad pun tittles!! - *Dashing, and Hannah Mind Control Corp (c) are not responsible for any head implosions caused by bad puns. - Without furthur ado... The actual content implied by the topic title : ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1: The Apple (man) of Gilligan's Eye (Posts 1-20). Gilligan and his crew were stranded on a desert island. Whilst wandering along the shore Glligan meets Cornman and Appleman. Gilligan fals in love with the Appleman and the Appleman kicks him in the groin. The Cornman gives Gilligan the Cornsword which he then uses to cut off Bodgy's head. The rest of the crew drown themselves or sail away when they are trumatised by seeing Gilligan making out with the Cornman. Chapter 2: Waffleing on... (Posts 21-40). Appleman dumps Gilligan. Gilligan meets Marianne and the Professor who tell him the story of the legendary 'Spongegoat' and the demise of the islands former population. A terrible enemy who called herself the Waffle Queen had Gilligan thrown into her dungeon, where the Cornman was already held captive. Gilligan and the Cornman attempted an escape but were confronted by a strange yellow Mountain goat covered with pores. Fortunately for them the goat choked on Gilligans hat and they both managed to escape. Gilligan woke up naked on someone's drive way, and his manhood was insulted by the home's occupant; Mrs. Upsnot. To get him off her lawn Mrs. Upsnot tossed a $5000 coin at Gilligan. Chapter 3: I can't write very good punny tittles. (Posts 41-60). Gilligan left Mrs Upsont's driveway and met a talking volcano. Then he woke up with a bump on his head, he had been sleeping for 2000 years! Gilligan was hasselled by various security robots as he searched for the exit. Gilligan ran away and found himself in a strange and empty room. He sat on the floor and cried like a baby, wailing for his mummy. He was then chased by the mummified mummy of his mummy, until the building exploded. Gilligan had found the exit just in time, but was taken to a strange castle by a hobo-droid. The castle's occupant, a strange woman who apparantly did not like ice in her orange coloured beverages told Gilligan to fo away. The Orange-Drink-Woman fell in love with the uncharming prince and broke his donkey's back. Chapter 4: Pointless boating of mass destruction (Posts 61-80.) Gilligan and the Uncharming Prince agreed to embark on a journey, but first Gilligan fashioned clothing from the Prince's donkey's skin. Gilligan jumped in a boat, sailed around then returned back to the same spot for no apparant reason. He and the uncharming prince then began to search for the Cornman. who they later found drowning in a vortex created by Gilligans pointless boating. Gilligan jumped into the water to try and save Cornamn but they were both dragged down to the Waffle Queens secret underwater lair. After a series of mediocre events Gilligan found himself stranded on a random beach. Chapter 5: Its always darkest before dust (Posts 81-100.) Gilligan was eaten by a boy named Brian. The director was very happy with everyone's performance and called it a day. The island scene backdrop was replaced by the Waffle Castle backdrop for the next scene, but the two actors ere fired out of a cannon and into the sun. Gilligan grew tired of watching the specail features and threw his TV into the ocean then went to play with his vacuum. Gilligan was sucked into the vacuum and was crowned Queen of the new universe he discovered inside. When it was discovered that Gilligan was not a woman he was sent to the dungeons. Gilligan found an alternate reality underneath his bed and created a tear in the time-space-continuum by talking to himself. The universe was rewound and Gilligan saw the Cornsword being forged by Corn Man. Gilligan stole the sword and changed the past which in turn altered the future. Gilligan was transported back to the present and discovered that the world was made of waffles, it rained donuts and Appleman was a woman. Chapter 6: Whale of a time (Posts 101-120) Applewoman stalked Gilligan until he agreed to marry her, as soon as they were married she demanded a divorce and was awarded his desert island in the settlement. Gilligan ten had to live atop a rock in the middle of the ocean. Gilligan sat on his rock for years until the skinless donkey arrived and kicked him to the ground (apparantly global warming took effect on that ocean). Casper and Gamer appeared and both cried then Gilligan and the Skinless donkey swum/fought with each other through the ocean. Gilligan was washed to the shore next to a large whale which he proceeded to eat, while he was in shock about his stomach having exploded the waffle queen threw him into her dungeon. Gilligan was wafflized and could only say, "eat me". So a passing hero ate him. Chapter 7: Happy Tree Enemy (Posts 121-140) Hero turned slightly emo because of Gilligan's presence within his body. Hero, like his brother incompetant guard, didn't live up to his name and was in fact a villain. Hero planted a tree, and somehow Gilligan's consciousness was transfered to it during the planting process. Gilligan the corn tree threw corn at passers by, which was misinterpreted as a friendly gesture earning him the nickname 'The Happy Tree'. A dragon kidnapped the corn tree around the same time as six new baby yoshi's were born. Two of the yoshi's were actually fanta and DS in suits. The remaining yoshi's followed te trail of corn leading to the corn tree, while Fanta followed them hoping for a meal. DS followed the corn/drool trail hoping to find them but fell down a hole. It was a trap set up by fanta. who promptly ate him. Then Fanta was eaten by a dog, but she retaliated by re-eating the dog. They both digested each other intill nothing but a pile of goo was left. The pile of goo caused mass panic and looting. Cornman looted all the corn and searched through it looking for the corn sword. Chapter 8: Disco Fever (Posts 141-160) Suddenly the cave turned into a discotech and Cornman was knocked unconscious by a disco ball. When he came to he was forced into doing the chachawith a strange woman and the pair won the dancing contest. Cornman was stunned to discover that he was being forced to dance for eternity. The scene ended and the actors began preparing for their next scene, when Corny Carns (guy who plays cornman) was confronted by Barry Big Bucks who offered him cash and pointing a gun at him in an attempt to make him star on his talk show. Corny signed the contract Bigbucks gave him hastily, and regretted it. He decided to research the Dashingons so he could find the legendary CornSword and get himself out of the hosting gig. He found some information but the book had half rotted away, he travelled to NEw Mexico to try and find another copy of the book, but no one had heard of it. Chapter 9: This plot is rubbish! (Posts 161-180) Corny was aproached by a man selling illegal books, corny bought a book, knocked the man unconscious with it and stole back his money. He threw the book away in a nearby rubbish bin, before realising that the book was written about the Dashingites! Corny raced after the garbage truck that had just collected the rubbish and humped the drivers leg. Corny took the book from the truck and ran away so he could read it, before realising that he couldn't read. Corny decided he needed to find someone that could read, and then bumped into Gilligan. After a series of events that made no sense to me, Gilligan lied to Corny and said that he could read. Gilligan made up some crap and then they both went on a quest to find some magic socks. Chapter 10: Follow the carrot chunk road (Posts 181-200) Gilligan and Corny saw that DS was wearing a particularly stinky pair of socks, so they mugged him and ate his socks.... Along with everything else they could find until they made themselves sick. Corny threw up and the pair followed the direction that the vomit kinda... sorta.. almost seemed to point in. Corny and Gilligan walked into a dark woods and maple syrup rained from the sky. It was the Waffle Queen! Then comletel,y randomly a giant pokeball appeared and was heading towards earth!The Waffle Queen disolved and hid, and COrny and Gilligan considered finding a mmagic lamp. Then Destructon went to find the dragon balls, but was stopped by mewtwo and they had a big battle. Chapter 11: Earthmon, I choose you! (Posts 201-220) Everyone was so distracted by the battle between mewtwo and destructon that the pokeball colldided with Earth and captured it. Smash was very excited about his new Plantemon. Smash used Earthmon in a battle that he one by default because his opponent used Pluto which isnt a planet. Everyone got bored of the really weird turn the plot had taken so the focus switched back to the main characters. Gilligan and Corny found an abandoned house in the woods and began eating it. Gilligan fell too the ground clutching his stomach in agony. The Waffle Queen came and there was evil banter. Corny tried to drag the dying Gilligan to safety but didnt. The Waffle Queen stole Corny's youth and while she was preening, Gilligan crawled away. Chapter 12: Waffle Wrath (Posts 221-240) Link appears at the scene and after Gilligan finds the cornsword up his butt they all have a feast... of roast Gilligan. But the Waffle Queen had spiked the gravy with maple syrup and her guests turned into waffles. Link and Corny use the Waffle Sword to return themselves to their original form and Link attempted to attack the Waffle Queen, but was interupted by her Ninja's singing an Oompa Loompa song. Then Gilligan somehow miraculously became alive again and the Waffle Queen took her ninjas and retreated. Gilligan turned Link and Corny into young Link and Corny. No one could remember why they had been searching for the corn sword so they discarded it in a nearby river and the rapids carried it far far away. The Appleman stole the Cornsword in order to mass produce environentally friendly and cheap fuel for cars. Muahahaha! The narrartor quit and Gilligan took over teling the stroy. He invented a charater named meshman who was inevitabley a flop. Gilligan and Corny found themselves sitting on a bus with no knowledge of how they had gotten there. The bus driver kicked them off at the end of the line and they sat down to eat the book. Priest goat appeared and ate their book then began to preac to them about vegetables. Chapter 13: Err.. Jumping thing (Posts 241-260) Hannah destroyed the universe because the plot was getting rather uninteresting, she transported the main characters of the story t another planet as well as some random guy called carrotman. Gilligan sudenly found himslef stuck in some weird alternate reality time jump thingy-ma-jig and would change from situation to situation until he was lucky enough to 'jump' back to his own body. Gilligan found himself confronted by an angry redneck, he managed to escape the redneck and found himself in another reality. Thiis time he was stuck on a deserted island. Al told Gilligan that in order to leave these relaities and get back home was to find the yellow brick road, and follow it. But in order to find the yellow brick road GIlligan needed to improve the lives of people living in each reality he passed through so that he could continue jumping through time... So anyway, Gilligan had to hook the Professor up with MAry Anne. He noticed that the professor was rather like hinself in the goods department, so he instructed him to stuff his pants with pkeballs. It worked until squirtle decided to leave his pokeball for some fresh air, and in his shock fired his water gun attack. MAry Anne thought that he had wet his pants and she was inredible grossed out. Gilligan sat down to think of another plan, months later he had come up with one! He asked MAry Anne what she thought of the professor. (Great plan there Gilligan...) Chapter 14: The malicious Schoolbus (Posts 261 - 280) Gilligan trick's Mary Anne into hugging the professor and was able to leap back into his own reality. Then Al and Ziggy transported themselves to the reality were the waffle queen was stuck, they ditched Al and that was enough to transport her home! Gilligan and Corny were baked in a pie, but managed to escape on a school bus. Back at school, Mrs. Frizzums was an evil teacher who sent her student's to the dungeons. In the dingeon's the students were forced to work their way through Alice tutorial after Alice tutorial after Alice tutorial. Corny tried to play solitaire on a dead person, who attacked him as revenge and tried to eat his brain but discovered that there was none. Tina posted something that didn't make sense and lacked proper grammatical structure, then Miss Frizzums sent all the student's to detention writting lines... evil lines that carved workds into the person's hand. Chapter 15: Gilligan in mario land (Posts 281 - 300) The class discovers that their teacher is actually the Waffle Queen, and so they escape from the dungeon by ramming Gilligan's head through the wall. On the ther side of the wall was a green pipe which they jump down and find themselves in a new bright world, Gilligan hit his head on box and ate the mushroom that came out, before swelling in size. And Corny was forced to avoid dozens of barrels that were rolling towards him. Gilligan finds a flower that gave him fir powers, then travels down annother pipe into a water world. Sir Isac Newton is displeased with Gilligan for breaking his laws so he transforms into a boss, PhysFish and the two begin battling. The whole world exploded and Gilligan met his maker, literally - meeting the girl who had created his character; "Rachel". Rachel was stabbed in the back by Hannah, but was not killed because her organs were surgically rearranged. Hannah wanted to re-recruit Spongegoat, but he was an alcoholic and joined an AA group. Chapter 16: Alcoholics really really Annonymous (Posts 301 - 320) SpongeGoat is embaressed to discover that the AA group is a girlscouts meeting, but he is then revelaed to actually be Priest Goat. Spongegoat then gets up and says a few words about his sobriety, but it is then revealed that he is in fact BlueGoat. While this is happening, Hannah and the real Spongegoat are having a video conference with the president, but are rudely interupted by a SWAT team led by DS. Hannah laughs at them because they are pointing their guns at her image on the TV, and she ends the transmission. Fanta tried to knock Hannah out with a frying pan, but it bounce off and hit her in the head instead. Her scientists disect Fanta and find that her brain is in her butt and all her other organs are not located in her body... Fanta wakes up from the anaesthesia and holds a knife to Hannah's throat, but ther are interupted by a Destructive Innocent Barbie infestation, so they call an exterminator. Then there was an Earthquake and everyone fell down the crack that opened up beneath them...... Chapter 17: The Software Development Undead Cycle (posts 321 - 340) Hannah and Rachel realise that they are merely pawns in the story telling of sentient beings, they leave the computers in which they were created and write a computer virus that turns the whole world into zombies. Enix is the sole survivor because he has immunity for an unknown reason. He is chased by zombies who want to eat his brain, and runs into Gilligan and Cornman, whom despite being zombies themselves try to help enix out. When Rachel and Hannah realised that Enix was immune to their virus they hacked into google maps to track him down. Then sobre duck came and Hannah and Rachel forced him, Gilligan and Corny to help them on their quest to find enix. Chapter 18: Boogerman Begins. (posts 341 - 360) Hannah, Rachel, Sobre duck, Gilligan and Corny go looking for enix. Meanwhile, when enix's attempt to communitcate with the zombies is futile, he shoots at them with a conveniently located laser gun, and runs away, but gets so tired that he falls asleep. The zombies find him and see that he is frolicking with his eyes closed and decide that there is nothing in his skull for them to feed on afterall. Enix woke up in time to catch the boogeyman stealing his boogers, but after tackling him to the ground let him go. The boogeyman built himself a boogie-boogie machine and began his plan of world boogerification by shooting it at a house. The waffle queen grew angry at this and turned the house into waffles, they kept turning the house back and forth between boogers and waffles until finally, they turned their weapons on each other. However the when the two rays met, a giant boogery waffle was created. The waffle queen and her new daughter; Princess Snotty ran away to her secret base to begin plotting evil. Then Fanta decided to have corrective surgery; and become an actual can of fanta. Which, two years into the future; Gilligan drank. Fanta was reincarnated when Gilligan went to the bathroom, and rained down on him as revenge. However, Gilligan simply drank her again and vowed to drink all of his waste from now on to prevent her from ever escaping the confines of his stomach. Chapter 19: A Series of Random Events (posts 361- 380) Gilligan eats vomit. Hannah faints ontop of a zombie. Gilligan turns into a cow, and is killed by the zombie for mincemeat. Gilligan wakes up on a footpath in Ireland, and is offered some potatoes, buy a guy with a strong accent which Gilligan mis-interprets as 'poo-covered-toes'. Inspired, Gilligan starts up a 'poo-covered-toe' stall, cutting off his own toes to sell to customers. Corny buys one toe each morning for ten days, until the stall closes. Gilligan is broke, and moves into a cardboard box - however it rains and his new home dissolves. So he and Corny team up to sue the clouds. But are so intimidated by the opposing lawyer, Phoenix, that the only thing they can think of to do in order to plead their case is to throw their own faeces at him. Gilligan is awarded $2.05 in compensation, and goes to the podium to accept his award; snatching the judge's gavel and thanking his 'fans' the jury. He then dances on Phoenix's face, making Phoenix cry. In the next scene, Gilligan gets run over by a car whilst eating a chicken wrap. His ghost ascends towards heaven, but collided with an aeroplane on the way and fell back to Earth, landing in a love tester machine. Grandpa Gilligan, finishes reading the story to his Grandkids and starts a new one... Chapter 20: Stop, Storytime! (posts 381 - 400) Gilligan tells his Grandson, Odairu a really boring story, so Odairu steals his porn stash and ran away and Gilligan is forced to kidnap another unsuspecting child to bore to death with his stories. The kid ran away and Gilligan broke his hip while in pursuit, so his husband drove him to the hospital. Odairu was forced to tag along, as he had noone else to look after him. At the hospital, Odairu zaps people with the defribulator. Later, Gilligan's husband dies, and in his haste to hide the body from Fanta he falls and knocks himself unconscios. Fanta finds him and, thinking he was dead raped him. Gilligan woke up half way through, and they were both disgusted. Gilligan and Fanta run in opposite directions and eventually run off the edges of the Earth. Hannah takes possesion of Genie Fanta's lamp and her first wish is for World Domination, failing to specify which, so Fanta makes her the ruler of the Sewage universe. So she makes a second wish, to be the ruler of ALL universes. Her subject, Odairu requests her to restore popularity to the NES. Hannah yells at some guy until she loses her voice, and has it replaced. Due to some clerical error within Odairu's company however, she get's Iago's voice. So she sues Odairu's company and he is forced to take a new job, as poopsmith. Hannah bought Vodka Poop Fanta from the Poopsmith to send to her enemies, as it was laced with anthrax (the member not the poison). Then Poopsmith Odairu makes Anthrax into a horseshoe. Chapter 21: Luck 'O the Anthrax (posts 401 - 420) As a horseshoe, Anthrax's luck significantly improved... For a time. He narrowly avoided being run over by a wagon, then fell off a cliff onto a pile of gold. He broke his spine, but bought a new one made of diamonds. Mr. Neigh Neigh found out that the Diamonds were stolen and he attacked Anthrax. He was arrested for cruelty to Anthrax by Weegee clones who turned out to actually be Gilligans. Who all threw up on each other then shot Anthrax. Anthrax's funeral was only attended by the Janitor, who turned out to be fat mario. Fat Mario sucks out everyone's fat, which causes Emo Luigi to give himself a manicure. Luigi and Gilligan got married and had seven children, but died - leaving the children orphaned. Years later, the oldest orphan, Birthday, broke all his teeth while trying to eat cement. So his younger brother, Bagpipe decided to replace Birthday's teeth with the teeth of his other brothers. But when he stuck his hand in Booger's mouth, Booger bit off all his fingers. So Boogers cuts off his thumb to superglue to Bagpipe's hand. Then tried to cut off one of Bunyip's fingers, but Bunyip scared Booger of with his Chainsaw. Boogers turns to Badger, scissors in hand, and Badger shoots him with a laser gun. Chapter 22: Pirates of the Cupcake-ibeean (posts 421 - 440) Badger's laser is reflected back at him by mirrors held up by his siblings, and he is killed. Bozo stabs Birthday in the eye with a knife, so Birthday eats him. They both die, which is the last straw for Barnacle, who is sick of his brothers killing each other. Barnacles hires a crew of pirates and sets sail, however the pirates are mutinous and Barnacles is thrown overboard. However he managed to cling to the ship until it arrived in MuffinLand. The muffins kill all the crew and take Barnacles to their leader, the MuffinKing. The Muffin King demands that Barnacles bring him a shrubbery, however Barnacles returns with a shoehorn. The King is displeased so he calls for his jesters, who also dissatisfy him. The King is so enrages that he imposes a 10% Muffin tax, and sends out his Muffin Guards to nibble of 10% off of anyone who eats muffins. However people avoid his tax by adding frosting and calling them 'cupcakes'. The Cupcakes rebel and the Muffin King is dethroned. The new Cupcake King has him tracked down and melted, to prevent him from ever reclaiming his throne, then puts his heart into his trophy cabinet. Fanta was covered in coal from a hard days labour at the coal mine, and was mistaken as black and took up netball under false pretenses. Chapter 23: The great Tumbleweed chase (posts 441 - 460) Fanta goes Trick-or-Treating and comes across a GingerBread house. She enters the house and eats the inhabitant's toaster. Then all of a sudden, a voice booms down from the heavens, "If there was a gingerbread house, why would I eat the toaster, not the house...?". It is Fanta! The most worshipful god! The NES characters create their new religion; Fantism to worship their new Lord. The religion's followers bestowed gifts of appliances upon their god. However, one night Fanta was caught sneaking in to eat the appliances, and an embarradding photo was taken; forced her into hiding! In the year 9001, SpongeGoat's decendant, 'future goat' discovered her in a freezer, and got brain freeze after bitting her. A confusing time paradox involving FutureGoats linearage... I think, caused Fanta's head to implode, leaving the space above her shoulders empty. She tried various head replacement options, before settling for a bowling ball and becoming a superhero. The waffle queen, feeling threatened challenged her to a duel, but grew bored when she wasn't winning. So Rachel and Hannah stood around waiting for the next plot, watching the tumbleweed blow by. They decided to follow the tumbleweed and got into a fight over who would be queen of where-ever they ended up... Rachel won, and Hannah got to ride in a wheelbarrow for the rest of their journey. Chapter 24: N00bish musings (posts 461 - 480) After the tumbleweed is murdered Hannah has and acid trip and wakes up hours later in a burning house. So she throws her butler out the window and uses him to provide a soft landing for herself. Then she orders her buttler to fetch her some Maple Syrup, he couldn't find any and the world exploded. Jillian and her crew were stranded on a deserted island and were haunted by the silent S's from various words... And then everyone spent the rest of the page being complete n00bs and nothing much really happened. Chapter 25: Drum Roll and roll and roll and roll and roll and roll. (posts 481 - 500) Fanta was guilt into a game and watch game and had to dodge falling anvils. She was awarded a C++ grade for her efforts. King 63b4 died after eating a potato. An alien parasite burst out of his chest and started rapping... Then a drum roll started, and continued until the drummer's arms were worn down to stubs, so they started to drum with their feet. Which also were worn down to stubs, so they drummed with their eyebrows. And when the drums broke they started yelling "boom ba boom boom" instead. Michael Jackson and the Thriller zombies came to provide the drummers with new drums and participate in the drum roll by dancing. Then Cymbals were thrown in, and then guitar and keyboard all adding to the climactic effect. A CD was made which was first a flop, but then became a hit. Chapter 26: Drum Roll and roll and roll and roll and roll and roll. (posts 501 - 520) Everyone had gotten so distracted by the drum roll that it continued past the 500th rely and onto the 501st. The drums had caught on fire, so Gilligan tried to put them out with gasoline and alcohol... Which oddly enough just made the fires worse. Then god made it rain, and so the Dashing crew found Noah and stole his ark. But htey were then boarded by pirtes who gave them scurvy which was actually pirate slang for breakfast. Then one of the crocodiles on the ark ate Gilligan's hand and alarm clock. Gilligan kidnapped Destructive Innocent Barbie, and she farted n him giving him the ability to fly. While flying through the air (with the greatest of ease) Gilligan crashed into a plane and then plummeted to the ground, forming the Grand Canyon where he landed. He climbed in and out of the grand canyon and then the Earth sued him for rape. However, noone turned up to the court house; so Gilligan took the judges gavel and declared himself King of the Universe. This took the tittle of Ruler away from the Waffle Queen so she transfigured herself into an actual ruler and begun measuring things that were under 30cm long, including Rachel. Rachel kicked over Hannah's golf balls and then Tiger woods transformed into a tiger and mauled her. Chapter 27: The Confusing Chronicle. (posts 521 - 540) Tiger Woods was shot in the head by Mr T, for his bad puns. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr T, for his predictable phrases. God tried to smite Chuck Norris, but his lightning was deflected Billy Mays. He ate it, but the pokeball opened in his stomach and caught him! When Chuck Norris was released from the pokeball he was inside out, so Gilligan right-side outed him, and wore him as a suit. Gilligan picked his nose, until he poked his brain and forgot who he was. The narrator tried to confuse him, until he got confused when someone else was narrating him. It was Nara the narwhale! Confused? Nara impaled Gilligan on his horn, and Gilligan enjoyed it so he followed Nara around hoping for more. However, this interfered with Nara's narration duties, as Gilligan kept interupting. Meanwhile, Corny got his foot stuck in a hole, and killed all the fireants with his foot odour, causing a competing colony to worship him as their savour. Corny and Gilligan then embarked on a roasdtrip, but when Gilligan wouldn't stop singing, Corny tried to strangle him. Chapter 28: Grave Grammatics... (posts 541 - 560) Corny killed Gilligan, but then killed himself out of guilt. The GhostBusters were called in, but they were killed by Gilligan and Corny, and were thereby forced to 'Bust' themselves. So Corny Gilligan and the ghostbusters formed a Conga line, and other pasersby joined in until it mutated into a 'spank' machine, which Squidward tried out, but the Conga line closed up to form a conga-circle, and squidward was doomed to crawl between peoples legs, getting spanked for eternity. Patrick crawled in front of Squidward, and farted! Fortunatly for squidward, he was killed soon after by the smug bitch. Who was then, killed by the Medownick eye-dancing lady! The Medownick eye dancing lady's eyes ran away, then she married fat mario. She accidentally signed her soul away to slippy toad, who died from high cholesterol; freeing her soul. Until it became trapped in Rob Sneiders body. Then Rob Schneider killed Rob Sneider, whose ghost then killed Rob Schneider.... Chapter 29: A series of uninteresting events. (posts 561 - 580) The NES blew up due to lack of interest, yet it still continued on; despite having nothing to say... But then, suddenly... King Harnikken decided to embark on a quest, to see what was for dinner. It wasn't a long lived quest, as he soon was told the answer by a fairy. So he went to his throne room to wait... He waited... and waited... and waited... And rotted into a skeleton. Meanwhile, in the dining room, his dinner was getting cold. Kirby swallowed all of the food on the table, then flew away on his magic carpet to pick up Princess Zelda. The two broke into a duet of 'A whole new world', until Kirby got bord and pushed Zelda off the magic carpet. Then they were turned into giant squids and eaten by sperm whales... Way to spoil the mood.... Then the world reverted to the Car Chase scene, except noone coud remeber how it went, so George Lucas improvised. Gilligan was bashed up becasue he failed to turn his mobile phone off during the movie. Gilligan jumped into his flying car and flew/drove away, chased by the Waffle Queen on her broomstick. Hannah conjured a pitbull to take a dump in Gilligan's car, and while he was cleaning up the mess he crashed int oDr Robotnik's mean bean machine. The beans spilled out everywhere! Gilligan ate four of the same colour and disappeared. Chapter 30: The Chain of Life... (posts 581 - 600) Crush bought Fanta a bag of chips for her 5,000 post-eversary, but had already eaten them. Fanta batted the empty bag around with her paws and purred contently. But then she got the bag stuck on her head and suffocated! Odairu was arrested by the RSPCA for her murder. Through *ahem* some clerical error, Odairu was awarded the silver medal at the Dashign Spamolympics, but Kanye West interupted his acceptance speech; to announce that Hannah was in fact the one who makes the best posts OF ALL TIME! Who was then interupted by another Kanye from the future, who announced that Fanta makes the best posts of ALL TIME! Kanye then travelled back to his own time to play Fantanoice and Balooneybob at the Olympic Games on his WiiCube64. He then became a gay fish; who was caught and eaten by FishermanFanta... Who was eaten by a bigger fish.... Who was eaten by pacman... Who was eaten by Octorok... Who was eaten by Link... Who grew insize until he exploded, covering the whole world in Link Goo. Chapter 31: Farmville phail (posts 601 - 620) Ash scooped up the link goo to power his lantern, and went hunting Wobbuffets... Team Rocket arrived, so he took aim at Wobbuffet with his shotgun; but Wobbuffet stuck a carrot in its and he was covered in black soot. The world exploded, everyone's genders became inverted and we reset back to the car chase scene. AZ Simpled arrived, wearing a squirtle costume. Time frooze, yet at the same time it continued on. However, crops didn't have any time to grow; so everyone began to starve, causing Hannah to become frustrated with Farmville. During this time the pill industry boomed, because people had started eating human flesh... Hannah stole a cow so she could start a farm; but her arms snapped off while she was trying to drag it along. So she dragged it with her teeth... Chapter 32: (posts 621 - 640) Time resumed, and Hannah was arrested foe biting her cow. The NES broadcast was interupted to bring you word from our sponsors; viagra, moaning ringtones and Nintendo DSi. AZ and Delta Goodrem battled briefly, but Odairu fainted. The Waffle Queen shrank everything on Earth, including herself... But no one noticed the change in scale, until space pebbles rained down on the planet like a meteor shower. Then Mountains of Chocolate began crashing down. Hannah ignored this and had a webcam conversation with a cowboy hat. When negotiations were complete, CowBoy hat agreed to serve in Hannah's army, in exchange for not being eaten by SpongeGoat. But then the Cowboy hat went out of fashion, and was replaced by a Top hat! Fanta developed a crush on DS and began stalking him... Chapter 33: (posts 641 - 660) Edited by balooneybob, Nov 16 2009, 06:04:09 PM.
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| fantanoice | Apr 26 2008, 08:56:19 PM Post #2 |
I got my eyes on you.
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xD Oh God, I died laughing while reading that. But you didn't link the chapters, or give them cool, punny names... D: |
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| balooneybob | Apr 29 2008, 09:40:56 PM Post #3 |
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The Waffle Queen
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Nooo! I can't believe I forgot punny names!! I will add them when I can be bothered 
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| azsxdc | Apr 30 2008, 06:38:23 PM Post #4 |
Zombie Goast
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lol, chapter 3 ftw |
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| fantanoice | Apr 30 2008, 06:40:51 PM Post #5 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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You forgot a few. 
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| DrunkenSquirrel | May 15 2008, 06:30:51 PM Post #6 |
Jigglypuff Kirby
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I said it ten times fast. You owe me a new tongue. |
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| fantanoice | May 15 2008, 07:08:03 PM Post #7 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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Kang: 'To pronounce it correctly I would have to pull out your tongue.' |
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| fantanoice | Sep 9 2008, 11:33:45 AM Post #8 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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I saw you randomly updating this, so I pinned it for you.  I think it deserved pinning.
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| balooneybob | Oct 7 2008, 09:59:37 AM Post #9 |
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The Waffle Queen
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Yay I was pinned (feels so special) |
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| fantanoice | Oct 7 2008, 06:21:05 PM Post #10 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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No problem. 
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| balooneybob | Feb 17 2009, 06:28:15 PM Post #11 |
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The Waffle Queen
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Yay, all caught up to the current page! |
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| fantanoice | Feb 17 2009, 07:50:13 PM Post #12 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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LOL!
Holy crap, I'd forgotten all about that. xD Ooooh the torture!
Ahahaha!
The memories of IT... for all the wrong reasons.
That actually had me crying with laughter. |
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| balooneybob | Jun 1 2009, 01:15:35 PM Post #13 |
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The Waffle Queen
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Yay one of my crappy tittles is appreciated. I will have to update this again soon, but can't be stuffed right now. |
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| fantanoice | Jun 11 2009, 08:18:17 PM Post #14 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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I think this is missing a couple of chapters. |
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| fantanoice | Jul 8 2009, 10:00:24 PM Post #15 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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*Bumps due to Hannah's updating* |
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| balooneybob | Nov 16 2009, 12:12:29 AM Post #16 |
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The Waffle Queen
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Darn... I forgot I had this topic... Eek... Lets see how behind I've gotten... |
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| fantanoice | Nov 16 2009, 12:51:56 AM Post #17 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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Good girl, Hannah, staying up past midnight to update this.
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| balooneybob | Nov 16 2009, 05:44:40 PM Post #18 |
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The Waffle Queen
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Lol XD I always end up staying up late on Dashing. Its mindlessly addictive... |
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| fantanoice | Nov 16 2009, 08:07:41 PM Post #19 |
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I got my eyes on you.
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Fyi, Hannah was actually arrested for bestiality, not 'biting'. |
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| balooneybob | Nov 17 2009, 11:13:22 AM Post #20 |
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The Waffle Queen
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Sorry, little miss Semantics XD I'll change it later, when I do the next chapter. |
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