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| Ataka, Kinomaru | |
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| Topic Started: May 24 2009, 08:57 PM (166 Views) | |
| Kinomaru | May 24 2009, 08:57 PM Post #1 |
Welcome me!
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Name: Ataka, Kinomaru Age: 14 Dorm: Obelisk Blue Grade/Year: Senior Gender: Male Race: American Height: 5'8" Weight: 130 lbs Eye Color: Red Hair Color: Black / Red Highlights Personality: Kinomaru isn't the "mean" type. He is eager and curious. He is also courages and never backs down. He has a bad temper sometimes when he's annoyed and can't tolerate stupid people or comments. He is a good duelist. He likes Buffalo Chicken Wings/Ranch. He also likes to have fun, play around, and pick on other people even though e does'nt mean it. Defining Characteristics: Has a Tattoo of a Serpent spiraling his right arm. Physical Appearance: Kinomaru's hair isn't that long but it goes up to his forehead. He is physically fit. He has muscles but isn't totally ripped. Skin color is tan. He has perfect teeth and his K-9s are very pointy. His hair is up to his forhead and is straight. Wears custom-made Obelisk Blue jacket and pants that the blue had been darkened to resemble a blackish-blueish color. The sleeaves don't pass his forearm. Along with his uniform, he wears a pocket chain on the left of his pants. He also has a necklace but it's nothing special. He has his ears peirced with small earings. He has the Battle City duel disk tinted blackish-blueish like his jacket.. Known Relatives: None Biography: Contact Information: narudoshi@hotmail.com Edited by Kinomaru, Jul 15 2009, 03:52 PM.
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| Shichiro Kai | May 25 2009, 02:02 AM Post #2 |
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Mega-Poster!
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No known relatives, but yet your parents paid your way into a Children's Card Game Academy? Explain! 0_0 |
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| JeY Nakari | May 25 2009, 11:06 AM Post #3 |
JeY is Sexy.
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That picture isn't anything we've seen before! /sarcasm not that you have to change it, but an ex member used an also edited version of that exact picture  the only things wrong with it are the things Kai pointed out, and if you asked to go when you were 12, how come a year later you're 14 0.o also, the sentence "He also wants to meat goo friends because he has never actually had any. " makes me lul. Meat gooing sounds like a fun prank. Edited by JeY Nakari, May 25 2009, 11:06 AM.
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| Keith Chandler | May 25 2009, 02:09 PM Post #4 |
Divine Knight of Shining Armour
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You should probably re-read stuff you've written before posting it next time. And CWA stands for "Crimson Wind Academy", not "Crimson West Academy". I'm not even going to comment on what JeY said. An easy fix for the math inconsistency would be to make it a year and a half later. That way, he could've been 12 (maybe almost 13) and a year and a half later, he'd be 14. You should also list parents and siblings (if applicable) to the "known relatives" part of your application. Mentioning his parents there would clear up the confusion. It would also be a good idea to include more than a few words in the personality description. Maybe I'm just picky, but on the other RP site I'm on, they don't generally even accept characters who don't have at least four to six good sentences in each main section of the profile (appearance, personality and background). |
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| Wilhelmina Hatcher | May 25 2009, 02:56 PM Post #5 |
Ultra-Poster!
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If he's self-centered, wouldn't he not want to "meat goo friends"? (Sorry, couldn't resist. ^_^) I think you may have the term self-centered confused with... another word. The term self-centered typically tends to have a negative connotation. I think what you mean is something like "insensitive to the feelings of others" or something like that. <_< |
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| Rounin Nagasaki | May 25 2009, 03:09 PM Post #6 |
Rated R - Parental Discretion is Advised
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No, he has it right. Self-centered means you only focus on your own needs and wants. You can want to "meat goo friends" because it's what YOU want. |
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| JeY Nakari | May 25 2009, 04:02 PM Post #7 |
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JeY is Sexy.
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If he's self-centered about having friends, then everyone is -his- friend and his friend only, no one else is their friend according to them, and no one is -not- his friend unless he doesnt want them to be one. It's a psych thing, but possible. Really screwed up, again, but possible. That, billie is why I left that part of the profile alone - BUT, he did word it like it was going to be a good thing, little close to the line, but he could make it work. How did I not even catch "Crimson West Academy"? Weird. Keith is right about personality, you can use a couple complete sentences to describe what he would really be like, rather than throwing adjectives. You could stick with adjectives if you really had to, but... it really could be improved. |
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| Rounin Nagasaki | May 25 2009, 04:16 PM Post #8 |
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Rated R - Parental Discretion is Advised
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That's not quite how it works either...... |
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| Wilhelmina Hatcher | May 25 2009, 04:53 PM Post #9 |
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Ultra-Poster!
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Well I don't think he was self-centered about having friends. It seemed kind of like a non-sequitor the way I read it. "He's self-centered. Oh and, on a completely unrelated note he also wants friends." But maybe I'm just reading too much into this though. <_< |
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| Keith Chandler | May 25 2009, 05:37 PM Post #10 |
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Divine Knight of Shining Armour
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Maybe you are. Sometimes, even the most self-centered people find they want friends. He may be one of those people who wants friends, but doesn't know how to get them and keep them because he is a bit self-centered. I've known people like that, so it's definitely plausible. But maybe we should stop giving the new guy a hard time so that we don't scare him away before he has the chance to test and get started in the RP. 0_0 Edited by Keith Chandler, May 25 2009, 05:38 PM.
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5:47 AM Nov 30
