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Pangolin12
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Oct 14 2017, 08:26 AM
Post #1
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- Posts:
- 70
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #2,267
- Joined:
- Sep 25, 2017
- Gender:
- Male
- Nationality:
- I’m from the US (though I’m not feeling very patriotic lately)
- Favorite Quote:
- True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.-Kurt Vonnegut
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This project is devoted to finding realistic explanations for a selection of creatures in dungeons and dragons. D&D tends to explain weird creatures by just saying “insane wizard did expiriments”, but I’ll be considering how these creatures could evolve naturally (some of them probably couldn’t). This will include classifying these organisms and explaining how they evolved. I’m using 5th edition for this project though I may occasionally turn to older editions. I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this, so if it isn’t, please let me know. Any constructive criticism is welcomed. On magic- There are two kinds of magic in D&D- innate magic and spellcasting. Spellcasting would be learned magical ability, while innate magic is inherited. Monsters sometimes have innate magic, but usually don’t have spellcasting. For the sake of this project, innate magic is genetic, but spellcasting isn’t. As to how magic works, I’m just going to say that D&D takes place in an alternate reality where its possible to exert control over the universe to some degree. I know this isn’t a great explanation, but magic is going to be centerfold to a lot of things here, and this is the only way to make it work.
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Dumb Quotes "and then I fired again. and then I missed. and then I fired. and then I fired, and I missed. I missed both times. and then I fired, and I missed. this went on for several hours. and then I fired. and then I missed. and then I was out of bullets. and then I got sad. I had a popsicle. and then I passed out in the snow. and then I woke up. and then I reloaded. and then I fired. and then I missed. I missed again. I fired. I hit something, but it wasn't what I was going for, so I guess I missed. I passed out again. had another popsicle. I had a dream that I was firing at something. I missed. oh, so she can pick a snowball fight with 'em. I threw up a snowball at 'em. I missed. I packed another snowball into my gun. that's my secret weapon. I missed. yeah, she's really something. I threw a snowball at her. I missed. I passed out. I woke up with a popsicle stick in my mouth. don't piss me off woman. I'll take a swing you, I'll miss though. I guarantee it. then I'll take another swing. and I'll miss. then I'll have myself a popsicle. would you care for a popsicle? just don't bring it into the sauna. I reached into the fridge for another popsicle. I missed. I got the cabbage. I put it back, but I missed. I dropped it on the floor. long story short, missed." -- Nancy Drew The White Wolf of Icicle Creek: Twist of Fate - PART 3 - Game Grumps
"When Ron the Mighty has stood in front of the gate of heaven he begins to denounce it. He cries, 'heaven is for those too scared of nothingness, I will go no further then my mortal flesh will carry. This mirror is the sick bed of heaven Harry, the eternity of pansy lies.' Ronnie will have nothing to do with the mirror, he is only concerned with the flesh and blood of the now. This destroys Harry. Ron leaves him to contemplate his stupid mirror, and the design of the cosmos versus the terminal beauty of being a wizard." -- Wizard People, Dear Reader: Chapter 23
Coming Soon/To be Rebooted:
How To Hunt Gods - Everything you need to know about Gods and the art of God-killing.
Intrazoology - The world of semi-corporeal lifeforms. A world you walk through every day, without even knowing it.
The Dungeonverse - Magical creatures forced to adapt in huge, underground caverns, while surface-dwelling humans go dungeoneering for treasure.
Crossover - A mish-mash of worlds, with Earth smack in the middle of the chaos. What could go wrong?
no worries NO STINGER NO WORRIES

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Disgusting Skin Fetishist
- Posts:
- 1,900
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #1,641
- Joined:
- Feb 15, 2015
- Gender:
- Male
- Area of expertise:
- Alternate Evolution
- Nationality:
- United States
- Favorite Quote:
- "My armour is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!"
- Gender:
- What is a gender? A miserable pile of secrets!
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Every creature? Trust me, mate, you're gonna be here for decades if you do that. My advice would be to stick to one or the core bestiaries and finish that as a sort of test run.
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Quotes
Spoiler: click to toggle OctoSharkTaSaurus: WELP. HELL-O-PHANTS IT IS. Kamineigh: I was six and I had started having fantasies about this old crone dying. Sometimes by my own hand. YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING HORRIBLY WRONG IF A SIX-YEAR OLD WANTS TO KILL YOU WITH THE SAME HANDS HE JUST USED TO MAKE A BLOCK TOWER. Parasky: No, he's right, they have a medical grade walrus at most hospitals for that sort of thing. Mr Mysterio, regarding yours truly: I'm learning things about you that I'm not sure I wanted to know. HangingThief: An otologist is only as good as his walrus Stealth_Rock: We have a discord for double penetration? Ichthyander: If your eyelids are massive enough to significantly affect the path of light in space, it is time to go sleep. Mr Mysterio: Glarn-Glarn, don't... don't fuck the cave baboons. Kamineigh: They lacked wings. Instead, they went around in modified pilot's gear and beat the shit out of people using maces. Parasky: No! We will not calm down! This is a serious argument over whether or not some long dead animal is in any way similar to a group of modern animals that they are descended from! THIS. IS. SEWIOUS. Lamna: Obvious typo, I'm never going to be popular in Belgium. Trex841: Interesting point. Valid counterpoint. Self-obsessed psychotic rant. Parasky: No ties. Begin genetically modifying crows until we have organisms that roughly resemble those in the competition, and then have them fight to the death to see who wins this competition. Alternatively, Cephalian and SabrWolf could fight to the death. But at the end of the day something will be fighting to the death for my amusement to determine the winner. Yellowdrakex: Is it alright to have an irrational fear of gliding snakes? They're snakes. FROM ABOVE. Kamineigh: See, you wouldn't be in this mess if you began a bloody revolution every time your leaders showed to unsatisfactory. Zihuatanejo: Somewhere in heaven, a very groggy, very confused angel has just woken up and is trying to figure out why a boisterous Australian man is poking it with a stick. Komodo: I'm sorry but in what alternative universe would thousands of zebras be sent back in time by some sort of illegal time travel group to change history and preparing them by making gigantic working animatronic allosaurs? Seriously, why? Parasky: Maybe y'all should move to America, where you can flex your freedom muscles. Sir Spookums: It's a game about children catching super powered monsters, stuffing them in tiny balls, and battling other strangers' monsters. What about that makes sense in regards to anything, mister Kam? Des Orages: Yi qi. Just when you think you've seen it all, nature screws us over once more. Kaminiegh: This is clearly an inaccurate statement. I'd never challenge the authority of an admin... Unless Paraksytron stubbed his toe and fell over. THEN I, STARSCREIGHM, WILL BECOME THE NEW LEADER OF OF THE DE-SPECU-CONS! Dragon: Is normal a good word to use for describing any of us? Velociraptor: I once dreamed I was trying to steal a flamingo. The flamingo was oddly calm about the whole situation. Kaminiegh: THAT'S IT, I'M KINKSHAMING. Flashman63: In its 4,600 year history, men from all eras, places and classes have been entering into the Library: from the ancient bearded sages of Sumeria and Chaldea, to the sober-minded Academics and Zoologists of the Victorian era, to the great warlord Cletus, an inbred hillbilly who just happened to be carrying his AR-15 around his County's Strip-Mall library. OctoSharktasaurus: Well, uh, it's a pseudo-tripedal, terrestrial subcontinental Madagascan Beaked Whale... Is that not obvious? It literally says it blatantly. Holben: Did you not add lamb's blood to your fruit juice and the crushed bones of an englishman to your salsa? It's not authentic if you don't. Kaminiegh: Shut up, Hybrid, stop ruining my chances of time-travelling and getting some Neanderthal tail! Mr Mysterio: Except maybe Canada. If ever there was a country that was hiding secret reserves of powerful alien technology, it's probably mine. HangingThief: If you answered mainly "yes," you are most likely a salamander. Unfortunately it is becoming harder and harder to tell these days. Monster: In vaguely related news, I've developed a fear of my sewing machine. WHAT ARE YOU STRANGE NEEDLEBEAST Mynxi: He sowed the seed, I merely pissed on it and saw what grew. Beetleboy: The moral of the story: never trust a catfish. Parasky: Speaking of original, note to self: write erotic classical Chinese literature fan fiction Bromance of the Three Kingdoms under pseudonym Tuck Chingle. Little: Starting playing DND, took all of an hour of gameplay until a yuri love-triangle was initiated. And no, it was not my fault. Corecin: If this is your first time with a lesbian love triangle in a DnD game than you don't even have to specify that you're starting out. Octo: Oh no now Little will enlighten with the deep and complex subject that is hentai lore. Beetleboy: It shows what kind of person I am that I'm seeking crush advice on a forum about creating fictional organisms. Corecin: I am not in the mood for looking up yuri because then the FBI agent monitoring my computer will judge me with reckless abandon. Blue_Komrade: Excuse me sir I am going to have to see if you have your membership card to the Misanthrope Club. Parasky: Ultimately, by the miracle of microbiology and biochemistry, I have accidentally added an additional month to my brew and created a Bavarian style hefeweizen rather than the American style wheat beer I planned, despite technically not having the correct ingredients. However because I wrote down what I did wrong its not a mistake it's actually science. Rebirth: I can't be the only one curious about what would happen if you spayed and neutered a male antechinus before it reached sexual maturity. Ebervalius: Laws? What kind of spooky cuckery is that? Parasky: Ah see, but that's just the thing, you thought that I thought that you thought that I had said you hadn't read it, when really I had said that you had said that you thought that I thought that you hadn't read it. So really it's Flisch's fault.
Co-creator/corporate minion for the Pop Culture Monster Apocalypse!
My Projects
Spoiler: click to toggle Coming Soon
Spoiler: click to toggle Evolutionary Continuum: Jurassic Safari: An adventure 65 million years in the making continues. The Future is Altered: When man plays God, he plays to win.
Alternative Evolution: The Extended Jurassic: The time of the titans extends through the Cretaceous Xensaron: Second chance for the strange
The Habitable Zone: Bellator: A World at War Pentrex: The five worlds of the five champions of the dinosaur world, together at last.
Alternate Universes: Terra Venatus: Where fantasy comes to life Terra Incognita: Planet Earth, now with 150% more pulp! Sol and its Surrounding Worlds: A Guide to the Organisms and Peoples of the Solar System (Companion to Terra Incognita) Guide to the Ark: ???
Cafe Cosmique: Time Rip: When Dinosaurs Attack!
My dA page. My Fanfiction.net page.
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Pangolin12
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Oct 15 2017, 12:14 PM
Post #4
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