Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Speculative biology is simultaneously a science and form of art in which one speculates on the possibilities of life and evolution. What could the world look like if dinosaurs had never gone extinct? What could alien lifeforms look like? What kinds of plants and animals might exist in the far future? These questions and more are tackled by speculative biologists, and the Speculative Evolution welcomes all relevant ideas, inquiries, and world-building projects alike. With a member base comprising users from across the world, our community is the largest and longest-running place of gathering for speculative biologists on the web.

While unregistered users are able to browse the forum on a basic level, registering an account provides additional forum access not visible to guests as well as the ability to join in discussions and contribute yourself! Registration is free and instantaneous.

Join our community today!

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
The Prophecy of Specula part 1; sorry not sorry
Topic Started: Feb 28 2016, 05:38 PM (2,591 Views)
Holben
Member Avatar
Rumbo a la Victoria

The project was finally complete. Canis began to cackle with glee, his face lit in sudden flashes by the crackling portal before him. Suspended within a steel structure wrapped in wires and pipes, the glowing blue disc made a deep booming sound that rose and fell as Russwallac slowly moved a lever to the right.

"Canis, are you sure this is safe?" Russ adjusted his glasses slightly and frowned into the depths of the interdimensional void.

"We knew the risks when we began this project! There's no other way. We have to know what Earth would really be like if the KT asteroid had missed!"

"Uh, of course, but we've never even tested this thing. Who knows what could happen? This could literally tear the universe apart, or even worse..."

"The Inner Circle are too close to finding our location. There's no time- this has to happen now."

"Alright, boss." Russ turned to look at Nanotyranus. "More power! Tap into the reserves if you need to!"

Nano muttered something about plausibility and flicked a few switches. The portal surged with energy, and arcs of lightning made sudden, vicious connections between it and the scaffold in which it hung. Canis shouted something, but his voice was drowned out by the sound of physics screaming in pain. Russ' hair stood on end as he kept checking the panels in front of him again and again, on alert for any sort of error or fault. Here, there was no room for mistakes.

The sound slowly faded into a quiet hum, and the three speccers began cheered with glee. "It's stable! It's stable!" Laughed Russ, as Canis cracked a beer and raised it in salute to his comrades before taking a deep gulp.

But just as they were celebrating, there was a sudden explosion which tore a wide hole in the roof of the building. Long ropes dropped from above, and down them slid the dreaded Inner Circle. Before they could react, Canis and his friends stood facing the three most terrifying people he knew- Parasky, flanked by John Faa on his right hand side and Uruf on his left. Uruf bowed sarcastically towards Canis.

"Can't you give us a few more minutes?" Pleaded Russ.

Parasky drew a bulky two-handed hammer from his belt and shook his head at Canis. "You went rogue, CL. You know what that means. With everything you know, we can't let you go free."

"Look, I had to do this. You know that."

The Administrator didn't seem to notice Canis speaking. "You were my friend once. Remember all we did together? Remember what we achieved? And you threw it all aside." He prepared himself to swing the hammer.

Faa smirked. "You did well, making this portal. But it's ours now. And I'll be the one to classify all the new pterosaurs we find!"

Canis backed away, his eyes desperate. "No!"

"And your friends? You could have told them everything. They, too, must be smote."

Russ gulped, and Nano muttered something about past participles. He had resigned himself to his inevitable fate. All was lost, and this whole project had been for nothing. They would never get to see- but then, the portal flared for a second, filling the room with blinding white light. There was the sound of heavy footsteps, and as the speccers regained their sight they saw a scarred, armoured figure striding out from the void, a dark silhouette against the bright disc behind him.

"No, it can't be." Gasped Parasky.

Canis' jaw dropped. "But that's... Temporary!"
Time flows like a river. Which is to say, downhill. We can tell this because everything is going downhill rapidly. It would seem prudent to be somewhere else when we reach the sea.

"It is the old wound my king. It has never healed."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Replies:
Ebervalius
Member Avatar
Transhuman
 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
It could be either creationists or maybe even Jagger.
The Sirens of the Land of Fire
Codex Ebervaliorum

Spoiler: click to toggle
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
LittleLazyLass
Member Avatar
Proud quilt in a bag

Quote:
 
or maybe even Jagger.
That'd be interesting. Although if that did happen I'd be disappointed if me and Caiman aren't working against him in some way.

Also macgobhain, maybe venatosaurus, continuing the trend of banned members.
totally not British, b-baka!
Posted Image You like me (Unlike)
I don't even really like this song that much but the title is pretty relatable sometimes, I guess.
Me
What, you want me to tell you what these mean?
Read First
Words Maybe
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Holben
Member Avatar
Rumbo a la Victoria

Now Parasky stepped forward. "Show them what you showed me, Temporary."

Tempy reached into the pockets of his power armour. "I found this hidden in an alternate world where flight was basal to tetrapods." He pulled out a small, crumpled piece of paper and spread it out on the Staff Table.

It read:
Quote:
 
TO DO:
  • Laundry
  • Text Steve about the party
  • Find the TV remote
  • Besiege Spec Castle and kill SE forever
Zorc shook his head slowly and sadly. "This is a dark day."

"It's worse than we could have thought," Parasky said. "Whoever is out to get us has the ability to jump between worlds at will. Who knows what they could use against us?"

Sheather stood up, and his finches began to gather around him. "We need to find this person at once. Canis, could we reach any universe with your portal?"

The bound Moderator shrugged. "I guess so. But you'd need to know the multiversal co-ordinates..."

"Leave that to me, Sheather." Interrupted HOLBEN. "I can use this note to find the Bohr trace of any entangled quantum shenanigans and backtrack the Schrodinger pseudo-hologram to triangulate their meta-location."

"Get on it, HOLBEN. As for everyone else, we need t-"

An alarm fixed in the ceiling began to ring loudly, grabbing everyone's attention.

"Always at the worst possible time." Sighed Seascorp.

Parasky took control of the situation. "The kitchen spambots are attacking! We'll need to divide our forces. Dial, Monster, and I will go and counter them- the regular users won't be able to fight them off for long. The rest of you, get to the portal room and find that troublemaker!" Everyone rushed off in their own direction, leaving the Operations Room empty and quiet once more.

After a few minutes, the door opened again, and a man in elaborate naval uniform came in. Lamna looked around bemusedly. "You rang?" He asked the air.
Time flows like a river. Which is to say, downhill. We can tell this because everything is going downhill rapidly. It would seem prudent to be somewhere else when we reach the sea.

"It is the old wound my king. It has never healed."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mr Mysterio
Member Avatar
Waiting...
 *  *  *  *  *  *  *
God, the kitchen spambots. I remember those.
Dumb Quotes


Coming Soon/To be Rebooted:

How To Hunt Gods - Everything you need to know about Gods and the art of God-killing.

Intrazoology - The world of semi-corporeal lifeforms. A world you walk through every day, without even knowing it.

The Dungeonverse - Magical creatures forced to adapt in huge, underground caverns, while surface-dwelling humans go dungeoneering for treasure.

Crossover - A mish-mash of worlds, with Earth smack in the middle of the chaos. What could go wrong?

no worries


Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Sayornis
Member Avatar
Neotenous
 *  *  *  *  *  *
Mr Mysterio
Feb 28 2016, 08:32 PM
God, the kitchen spambots. I remember those.
They were before my time, though I have heard them spoken of in hushed tones now and then. I did see a couple of bot posts about Canadian jobs last year, though, and one that just posted an excerpt of some article on Ebola.

I assume that "an alternate world where flight is basal to tetrapods" is also alluding to some old forum lore.

This is a fun story even if I don't get all of the forum community injokes!
The Library is open. (Now under new management!)
Dr Nitwhite
Aug 19 2016, 07:42 PM
As I said before, the Library is like spec crack.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
trex841
Member Avatar
Entity
 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Oh, the possibilities for that attack. This is going to be fun!
F.I.N.D.R Field Incident Logs
A comprehensive list of all organisms, artifacts, and alternative worlds encountered by the foundation team.

At the present time, concepts within are inconsistent and ever shifting.

(And this is just the spec related stuff)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mr Mysterio
Member Avatar
Waiting...
 *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Sayornis
Feb 28 2016, 08:37 PM
Mr Mysterio
Feb 28 2016, 08:32 PM
God, the kitchen spambots. I remember those.
They were before my time, though I have heard them spoken of in hushed tones now and then. I did see a couple of bot posts about Canadian jobs last year, though, and one that just posted an excerpt of some article on Ebola.

I assume that "an alternate world where flight is basal to tetrapods" is also alluding to some old forum lore.

This is a fun story even if I don't get all of the forum community injokes!
A few of the really old jokes are going over my head, too (I don't really remember who Temporary is or was, but maybe that's just my shitty memory), but I've been around since 2012 (wow, has it really been that long), so I'm surprisingly getting most of them.
Dumb Quotes


Coming Soon/To be Rebooted:

How To Hunt Gods - Everything you need to know about Gods and the art of God-killing.

Intrazoology - The world of semi-corporeal lifeforms. A world you walk through every day, without even knowing it.

The Dungeonverse - Magical creatures forced to adapt in huge, underground caverns, while surface-dwelling humans go dungeoneering for treasure.

Crossover - A mish-mash of worlds, with Earth smack in the middle of the chaos. What could go wrong?

no worries


Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
LittleLazyLass
Member Avatar
Proud quilt in a bag

I've seen a few kitchen spambots in my time here. I've also seen Kamineigh pretending to be one, but that's another story.
Wait... what if it's... whoever that metazoica person was? Before my time, but from what I heard, it'd fit.

Or maybe the pet police trolls?
totally not British, b-baka!
Posted Image You like me (Unlike)
I don't even really like this song that much but the title is pretty relatable sometimes, I guess.
Me
What, you want me to tell you what these mean?
Read First
Words Maybe
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Dragon
Member Avatar
/r/GamingCirclejerk is the best subreddit, don't @ me
 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
There's a bunch of them. If they attacked all at once, they'd trip over each other.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life," John 3:16

A neat pixel animation of a future cowboy


trex841
 
Hey, their right to get freaky ends when it goes up my nose.


I think this describes what dinosaurs are like now

Click for something good. Click this too.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
LittleLazyLass
Member Avatar
Proud quilt in a bag

Hmm... if I ever make an appearance, I'm really not sure what I'd look like... I change my avatar at least twice a week, on average...
totally not British, b-baka!
Posted Image You like me (Unlike)
I don't even really like this song that much but the title is pretty relatable sometimes, I guess.
Me
What, you want me to tell you what these mean?
Read First
Words Maybe
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Dragon
Member Avatar
/r/GamingCirclejerk is the best subreddit, don't @ me
 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
On the off chance I show up, it'll probably be in the form of a red dragon (or someone in a Dragon furry suit it Holben is feeling malicious).
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life," John 3:16

A neat pixel animation of a future cowboy


trex841
 
Hey, their right to get freaky ends when it goes up my nose.


I think this describes what dinosaurs are like now

Click for something good. Click this too.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Kamidio
Member Avatar
The Game Master of the SSU:NC
 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Ddraig would be a red dragon. You'd just be some Canadian fanboy wannabe.

I remember Tempy. It's a shame that his stay here was only... temporary.
SSU:NC - Finding a new home.
Posted Image
Quotes
WAA
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
trex841
Member Avatar
Entity
 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Posted Image
F.I.N.D.R Field Incident Logs
A comprehensive list of all organisms, artifacts, and alternative worlds encountered by the foundation team.

At the present time, concepts within are inconsistent and ever shifting.

(And this is just the spec related stuff)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Crookedjaw
Member Avatar
Unleash your inner Sam.
 *  *  *  *  *  *
Jesus Christ this is amazing.
I don't get half the injokes in there (nor do I know who Tempy is) but who cares.
Martin
 
Our hopes lie in Watcher

Martin
 
We're fucked
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Holben
Member Avatar
Rumbo a la Victoria

Parasky leapt into one of the hastily dug trenches, where a huddle of users were preparing for the next assault. Most were muddy and bruised, tired by the onslaught, but the piles of broken spambot wreckage outside spoke for themselves. They turned, wide-eyed, to look at him as he began to assess the situation.

"trex!"

"Yes sir?"

"I need a report. How bad is this incursion?"

"Hmmmm... really bad. There are thousands of them and they're attacking us on almost every front. General Discussion, Evolutionary Continuum, even User Commentary..."

Parasky clicked his tongue in frustration. "Ebervalius! Take to the skies and see what they're doing right now."

The headdress-wearing bat deity nodded and took off, surveying the horizon. Somewhere down the front line there was the sound of fighting again as the spambots assaulted Dial's position. The sound of bans rumbled like thunder and sent a number of the distant robotic figures flying, completely smashed to pieces. Though all the users were exhausted they were demonstrating good discipline and holding their ground against all odds.

"Hey, what's that sound?" Asked Sayornis, and everyone stopped to listen. It was hard to tell what direction it was coming from, but there was something... a glass of water sitting on the top of the trench began to shake, at slowly first but with increasing speed, and then tipped over completely.

trex was the first to realise. "They're underneath us!"

Mechanical arms shot out from the mud, grabbing users left and right. The droning voices of the spambots filled the trench. "CheAP Diy KiTCHens In THe LoNDOn aREA..."

"So be it!" Yelled Parasky, and his Banhammer fell again and again, pulverising the machines. His energy gave the users heart and they all attacked with new spirit, quickly clearing up this new assault.

"Is it just me, or are they getting sneakier?" Ebervalius frowned as he came back down to earth. "I saw their main army on the horizon, by the way. It was... massive."

"Then I'm going to have to perform an Administrative Ritual and cast a registration shield over the whole site. It takes all my concentration for several minutes so I need you all to cover me."

"We can do that, sir." Trex nodded in encouragement, and there were murmurs of agreement across the trench.

Parasky stood straight upright and shut his eyes. He began to chant something quietly to himself, and began to radiate bright red light as he rose several feet into the air. "Registra, registri, registrorum..."

The spambots seemed to notice a change in the air, and the sounds of distant fighting stopped. There were a few moments of quiet, with only the sounds of far-off wind and Parasky speaking quietly to himself. trex quickly opened his PDA and sent a PM to Monster.

Quote:
 
Hey Monster, any idea what's going on with these spambot guys?


He received a prompt reply.

Quote:
 
Get ready! They left our position a few minutes ago and looked like they were heading your way...


"Trex." Said GlarnBoudin.

"Yeah?"

"Trex, look up!"

When he did, he saw spambots converging on them from every angle. Some had tunnelled behind the trench, and others came as a great horde that was sprinting towards them. And amongst all the normal sized spambots was a titan, a hundred metres tall and with the words 'KITCHENS MIDLANDS' scrawled in blood across its metallic body.

"FiTTEd KITchenS foR OnlY £595 iNCLUdiNG AppliaNCES" it screamed with a voice like a god's.

"Oh." Said trex quietly.
Time flows like a river. Which is to say, downhill. We can tell this because everything is going downhill rapidly. It would seem prudent to be somewhere else when we reach the sea.

"It is the old wound my king. It has never healed."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Café Cosmique · Next Topic »
Add Reply