| Speculative biology is simultaneously a science and form of art in which one speculates on the possibilities of life and evolution. What could the world look like if dinosaurs had never gone extinct? What could alien lifeforms look like? What kinds of plants and animals might exist in the far future? These questions and more are tackled by speculative biologists, and the Speculative Evolution welcomes all relevant ideas, inquiries, and world-building projects alike. With a member base comprising users from across the world, our community is the largest and longest-running place of gathering for speculative biologists on the web. While unregistered users are able to browse the forum on a basic level, registering an account provides additional forum access not visible to guests as well as the ability to join in discussions and contribute yourself! Registration is free and instantaneous. Join our community today! |
| The Ditch; the unknown might just lie right beneath your feet~ | |
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| Topic Started: Sep 6 2015, 12:36 PM (2,808 Views) | |
| Adman | Sep 6 2015, 12:36 PM Post #1 |
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Totally not lamna
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Somewhere, in some time... Not too far from where you live.. On the side of that one road that you travel on every day.. Lies the ditch. It might seem unassuming (and indeed it really is quite bland), but what lies inside it are lifeforms unlike any on earth. Separated from the rest of the world since a really long time ago, the ditch harbors very creepy and crawly creatures and pumpkin things that would scare the pants off of even an adult human. This is no ordinary ditch. No. This is. The Ditch |
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Projects and concepts that I have stewing around Extended Pleistocene- An alternate future where man died out, and the megafauna would continue to thrive (may or may not include a bit about certain future sapients) Inverted World- An alternate timeline where an asteroid hit during the Barremian, causing an extinction event before the Maastrichtian. Dinosaurs, pterosaurs, and notosuchians make it to the present, along with a host of other animals. Badania- Alien planet that has life at a devonian stage of development, except it exists in the present day. Ido- Alien world where hoppers (derived flightless ballonts) and mouthpart-legged beasts are prevalent. Leto- Life on a moon orbiting a gas giant with an erratic orbit; experiences extremes of hot and cold. The Park- ??? Deeper Impact- a world where the K-Pg extinction wipes out crocodilians, mammals, and birds; squamates, choristoderes, and turtles inherit the earth. World of Equal Opportunity- alternate history where denisovans come across Beringia and interact with native fauna. Much of the Pleistocene fauna survives, and the modern humans that end up crossing into North America do not overhunt the existing animals. 10,000 years later, civilizations exist that are on par with European and Asian societies. The Ditch- Nothing is what if seems.. | |
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| Adman | Oct 30 2015, 11:25 AM Post #61 |
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Totally not lamna
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Real talk, questions like these are pretty ridiculous and don't make sense. True, the ditch is meant to be satire, but responses like these can tarnish any thread, even if they are in a satire thread.
Especially questions like this one. That's just not right. Nonsensical posts =/ barely legible strings of words. Keep it sane, guys, and don't put these kinds of posts in this thread.
Now these are better questions that can actually be answered. Yes, skellymans do prefer their nice cheese. Smaller skellymans prefer sharp munster, while the larger ones really like monzerella. The ditch is not a singular organism, no matter what some folks would like to believe. It is indeed, a rift in the earth, with its own biomes and lifeforms. Sorry to crash your hopes of a hive mind organism living right down the street. |
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Projects and concepts that I have stewing around Extended Pleistocene- An alternate future where man died out, and the megafauna would continue to thrive (may or may not include a bit about certain future sapients) Inverted World- An alternate timeline where an asteroid hit during the Barremian, causing an extinction event before the Maastrichtian. Dinosaurs, pterosaurs, and notosuchians make it to the present, along with a host of other animals. Badania- Alien planet that has life at a devonian stage of development, except it exists in the present day. Ido- Alien world where hoppers (derived flightless ballonts) and mouthpart-legged beasts are prevalent. Leto- Life on a moon orbiting a gas giant with an erratic orbit; experiences extremes of hot and cold. The Park- ??? Deeper Impact- a world where the K-Pg extinction wipes out crocodilians, mammals, and birds; squamates, choristoderes, and turtles inherit the earth. World of Equal Opportunity- alternate history where denisovans come across Beringia and interact with native fauna. Much of the Pleistocene fauna survives, and the modern humans that end up crossing into North America do not overhunt the existing animals. 10,000 years later, civilizations exist that are on par with European and Asian societies. The Ditch- Nothing is what if seems.. | |
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| khbkhb777 | Oct 30 2015, 11:37 AM Post #62 |
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Ay b0ss
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I thought this was a joke, so I just made some stuff up. So here are some *actual* questions (kind of): How long has the ditch been around? What was the first organism to live in the ditch and actually survive (i.e. what was the first evolutionary lineage in the ditch)? |
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"Anime was a mistake" - Hayao Miyazaki "We predators have long ruled the wild Earth while abiding the rules of nature. Under our rule, landscapes remain fertile. Under YOUR rule, nothing lasts long."-Mauricio Antón "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."-Mewtwo "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."-Carl Sagan, one of the best our species had to offer | |
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| Beetleboy | Oct 30 2015, 11:42 AM Post #63 |
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neither lizard nor boy nor beetle . . . but a little of all three
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Well, I think what we all want to know is what exactly the ditch is. Some background info would be nice. |
| ~ The Age of Forests ~ | |
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| Velociraptor | Oct 30 2015, 12:28 PM Post #64 |
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Reptile
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What sort of musical instruments do the skellymans play? Do the DINOSOARS thank the skellymans for the good bones and calcium they provide? |
![]() Unnamed No K-Pg project: coming whenever, maybe never. I got ideas tho. | |
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| TAXESbutNano | Oct 30 2015, 08:50 PM Post #65 |
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I'm going back to basics.
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Is the Ditch on a separate plane of existence? If so, does the presence of openings correlate with a lack of sneks? I'm interested in researching the relationship between these two factors and would like to know if the Ditch could help me. (After researching safety of course.) |
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| LittleLazyLass | Nov 1 2015, 02:26 PM Post #66 |
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Proud quilt in a bag
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How was Halloween in the ditch? |
totally not British, b-baka! You like me (Unlike)I don't even really like this song that much but the title is pretty relatable sometimes, I guess. Me What, you want me to tell you what these mean? Read First Words Maybe | |
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| ClassyAmoeba | Nov 1 2015, 04:13 PM Post #67 |
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Infant
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Are there Tardigrades in the Ditch? |
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| Kamidio | Nov 1 2015, 04:27 PM Post #68 |
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The Game Master of the SSU:NC
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Read the OP please.
Is there DOOM Slime in the Ditch? Edited by Kamidio, Nov 1 2015, 04:27 PM.
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SSU:NC - Finding a new home. Quotes WAA
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| Adman | Jul 1 2016, 12:46 PM Post #69 |
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Totally not lamna
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Ohohohoho~ The Birds that weren't- mammals with a little too much free time In The Ditch, there are many kinds of spooky, obscene, and really bland creatures (we don't talk about the turtles, screw those microscopic bastards), that make it a thriving center of biodiversity in an otherwise bland and hostile environment. Skellymen swim and scuttle through the air and on the reeeally moist cave walls, and plants straight-up have a ball feeding off of chemeosynthetic bacteria. But perhaps the most intriguing of these lifeforms are the feathered mammals. First mentioned in pict folktales some two thousand years ago, these creatures have intrigued many, stunned few, and have even taken the lives of those dumb souls that have ventured too close. Seeming like a perfect blend of avian and mammalian traits, these creatures are what everyone in the entire world deserved, but never even asked for (like seriously, mammals? with feathers? do you know how bad that would be for allergies??). Feathered mammals lead fairly normal lives in The Ditch, catching flying insects with dexterity, leaping from small fungus culture to small fungus culture, and creeping up on unsuspecting dinosaur things, before eating them. Feathered mammals have been known to harbor extremely volitile opinions, and when compared to the more mildly-mannered skellymen, the feathered mammals have extremely strong views, which they will defend with their lives if need be. The feathered mammals of The Ditch come in a multitude of forms, but for everyone's sake, I'll cover two big varieties here. Snoops- These are the biggest and the baddest of the feathered mammals, and have largely traded their extravagant feathers for an extremely edgy coating of alligator-like scutes. Since these are some of the larger animals in The Ditch, it is as of yet unknown why they need such armor plating, but it does seem to get these leopard-like mammals all the mates. Many snoops are obligate vegetarians, though some species will eat smaller animals, like pumpkin skellymen or breadsticks. Watatatas- These are the more common and placid feathered mammals, and still have all their feathers in place. Watatatas are all over the place when it comes to food, and will not turn down anything, be it carrion, cakefruit, or fruit bread. Watatatas come in a wide array of colors, from neon pink, to powder blue, and a mottled array of reddish browns, whites, and greys. These feathered mammals often glide through The Ditch, ears erect, shouting good tidings to every inhabitant of The Ditch. Obviously, this behavior has gotten many a watatata to be killed at the hands of a sapient flytrap, but it seems to be linked to mating prowess. The males that can say the most kind things without being killed have a proportionally higher change of mating than those males that shout kind things and get eaten. This elementary-level example of sexual selection has been used by many a school to convey the key aspects of natural selection. Oh, and these are also mainly bipedal. Watatatas don't like standing around on all fours. Feathered mammals have had a long history with people. There's a rumor going about your local grocery store that feathered mammals are responsible for the brexit decision in the UK, and for Donald Trump's success in the US. Additional evidence has pointed to certain faulty emperors in such empires like the Roman Empire, the Qing Dynasty, and the Spanish Empire as actually being uplifted feathered mammals that could not rule. Although this is an interesting fan theory, it has not been proven canon by scientists, and thus must be treated as just a hypothesis. |
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Projects and concepts that I have stewing around Extended Pleistocene- An alternate future where man died out, and the megafauna would continue to thrive (may or may not include a bit about certain future sapients) Inverted World- An alternate timeline where an asteroid hit during the Barremian, causing an extinction event before the Maastrichtian. Dinosaurs, pterosaurs, and notosuchians make it to the present, along with a host of other animals. Badania- Alien planet that has life at a devonian stage of development, except it exists in the present day. Ido- Alien world where hoppers (derived flightless ballonts) and mouthpart-legged beasts are prevalent. Leto- Life on a moon orbiting a gas giant with an erratic orbit; experiences extremes of hot and cold. The Park- ??? Deeper Impact- a world where the K-Pg extinction wipes out crocodilians, mammals, and birds; squamates, choristoderes, and turtles inherit the earth. World of Equal Opportunity- alternate history where denisovans come across Beringia and interact with native fauna. Much of the Pleistocene fauna survives, and the modern humans that end up crossing into North America do not overhunt the existing animals. 10,000 years later, civilizations exist that are on par with European and Asian societies. The Ditch- Nothing is what if seems.. | |
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| Dr Nitwhite | Sep 26 2016, 03:45 PM Post #70 |
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Luddite
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Adman but if its skellyman time soon what will the skellymans do? Surely they have highly derived Hallo'we'en customs? (but seriously what is the joke with feathered mammals? it's referenced everywhere) Edited by Dr Nitwhite, Sep 26 2016, 03:47 PM.
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Speculative Evolution Projects- Other Relevant Work- Final SE Lifelist standings BREAKING NEWS We interrupt your regular programming to bring you this cutting edge report. ATTENDANCE DROPS DRASTICALLY ON SE SERVER This past Monday on Discord, famous server Speculative Evolution took a hit in the attendance office when it's offline member list suddenly reappeared. Mods scrambled to rectify the situation, but unfortunately there was little anyone could do. Server member Ivan was asked what he thought of the situation. "So long as Flisch, lord of machines and scion of Urborg lives, all will be well". SE, (in)famous for it's eccentric userbase, has recently been spiraling downward, and now we have hard conformation of the decline. Moderator "High Lord" Icthyander states "There is nothing to be concerned about, Discord is merely changing its UI again", but members are beginning to suspect the honesty of their staff. Stay tuned, we'll be back with more at 11. | |
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| Ivan_The_Inedible | Sep 26 2016, 04:12 PM Post #71 |
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There are some who call me... Spencer.
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(Apparently it was and is a running gag involving Johnfaa and his original tendency to give mammals feather-like intugement and sometimes even wings, despite the obvious issues. Case in point: Plumolemuridae from his Lemuria project.) I myself am wondring about the turtles. Sure, they be microscopic bastards, but they be turtles too. |
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Quotes are a thing Who will know? My Projects
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| Mr Mysterio | Sep 27 2016, 02:12 AM Post #72 |
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Waiting...
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Question: can I ride one of these skellymans? Like as a steed? And are the skellymans known for fighting in wars? Skellyman wars? |
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Dumb Quotes Coming Soon/To be Rebooted: How To Hunt Gods - Everything you need to know about Gods and the art of God-killing. Intrazoology - The world of semi-corporeal lifeforms. A world you walk through every day, without even knowing it. The Dungeonverse - Magical creatures forced to adapt in huge, underground caverns, while surface-dwelling humans go dungeoneering for treasure. Crossover - A mish-mash of worlds, with Earth smack in the middle of the chaos. What could go wrong? no worries ![]() | |
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| Finncredibad | Sep 27 2016, 08:18 AM Post #73 |
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Edgy and Cool
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This is the new Meme project. Also, are there Zebras in the ditch? And if so, do they crab walk? Edited by Finncredibad, Sep 27 2016, 08:22 AM.
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Favorite quotes Spoiler: click to toggle Projects and stuff Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Beetleboy | Sep 27 2016, 09:02 AM Post #74 |
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neither lizard nor boy nor beetle . . . but a little of all three
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For the love of Darwin's fluffy beard, not the zebras again. |
| ~ The Age of Forests ~ | |
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| Vorsa | Sep 27 2016, 04:51 PM Post #75 |
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Mysterious tundra-dwelling humanoid
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When did this project start receiving attention again?
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My Deviantart: http://desorages.deviantart.com/ Birbs "you are about to try that on a species that clawed its way to the top of a 4 billion year deep corpse pile of evolution. one that has committed the genocide you are contemplating several times already. they are the pinnacle of intelligence-based survival techniques and outnumber you 7 billion to 1" - humans vs machine | |
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