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| The Dawn Of Sapience | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 18 2013, 06:30 PM (371 Views) | |
| Hybrid | Mar 18 2013, 06:30 PM Post #1 |
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May Specula Grant you Bountiful Spec!
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This is a story I just made less then two hours ago so this might be bad. The Dawn Of Sapience Lightning cracks in midst of night.A young baboon is watching a thunderstorm on Savannah it calls home.This baboons different though,the rest of the troop was sleeping but this one isn't for some odd reason.It notices that the fire started from the lightning wasn't to be feared as the other believed.The baboon observes that nutritious insects swarm around the flame and that predators like the cackling hyenas stayed away from it.As it started to put the connections together,it realizes that lightning collates to fire.Maybe he thinks to him self,maybe fire isn't bad.Perhaps even,useful. The new dawn starts for this monkey.It starts to think back to its childhood.He notices that the small static shocks it used to zap on its playmates is very similar to the lightning that strikes the Savannah.This starts to dawns on him,maybe if he could perhaps rub two objects together to create lightning.He first started to rub chunks of pelts together,then he tried with ivory and bone,then he collected different types of rocks.Then he tried to rub them together.As all of his tries failed, he became furious.He grabbed a sharp rock,flint,from his collection and smashed it on a rock he placed down earlier in a fit of rage!"SMACK".He looked in astonishment as a spark flies of the rocks.The baboon starts running and screaming in excitement and bliss as he realized that,he discovered how to tame the fire he feared his whole life.He runs to his troops and explains them of his discovery.None of them believed him,they even mocked him for his discovery.But nothing would put him down.In the evening,he pulled the alpha male of the troop to a small spot.The young baboon grabs his flint and a rock and goes to a small pile of dried grass.He starts to smashed the rocks together."SMACK",he tried again, "SMACK",still nothing.All the noise attracts the rest of the troop.He begins to get nervous."SMACK".Still nothing he starts to think that it wouldn't work at all.Then,"SMACK",a spark fall from the flint and lands into the pile of grass.The grass started to smock,then fire engulfed the grass.The troop of baboons jump back in fear,but that one baboon stayed in shock.He done it.He discovered how to use fire.He looks back at his troop.The troop looks at him in awe as he stood in front of the fire.He teaches them that fire is nothing to fear.He tells them about the advantages of it and how predators will stay away from the flame. This remarkable monkey had done what seemed like the impossible. It's now a century later.Somewhere in the Middle-East in the Evening.A small tribe of baboons settle for the night.A few juveniles carry sticks,dried grass and any other plants they could find in a circle.As night night engulfs the sky,a elder female goes to the pile in the circle,with a stone and flint in her hand.She sits down in front of the pile and starts to scrape the flint along the rock.Within a few tries,she starts a fire.The tribes sits around the bonfire they made,staring deeply into the dancing flames.Night doesn't represent a time for fear or a time to sleep any more.It's now a time,to think. So what do you guys think of this story.I would score it 4-6 out of 10. |
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If I sound rude while critiquing, I apologize in hindsight! "To those like the misguided; look at the story of Man, and come to your senses! It is not the destination, but the trip that matters. What you do today influences tomorrow, not the other way around. Love Today, and seize All Tomorrows!" - Nemo Ramjet ノ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ヽ
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| trex841 | Mar 18 2013, 07:05 PM Post #2 |
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Entity
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F.I.N.D.R Field Incident Logs A comprehensive list of all organisms, artifacts, and alternative worlds encountered by the foundation team. At the present time, concepts within are inconsistent and ever shifting. (And this is just the spec related stuff) | |
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9:23 AM Jul 11