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| Topic Started: Oct 28 2012, 11:32 AM (378 Views) | |
| bloom_boi | Oct 28 2012, 11:32 AM Post #1 |
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What The?
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Chapter 1 The Wind Spirits whistled around the tent in the freezing night. Souls tiny in comparison to the vastness of the world stirred in their sleep, wrapped in animal furs. The dawn came, as it had always done. The shining sun came up crawling over the edge of the world. The people awoke to its light. Bundled still in his sleeping furs, Mikenchul crouched at the exit and unbuttoned the flap that protected their little tent from the harsh winds of the steppe. Once out, he straightened and stretched his tiredness away. His eyes focused on the world around him. The dawn was still early and in the depths of the sky the eyes of gods twinkled. Despite the beauty of the sky, Mikenchul was dissatisfied. The sea of grass that set about him was covered in frost, and the winds played south, bringing the angry call of the northern winds to these lands. Hard times lurked beyond the horizon, times of cold and hunger. He walked to one of the skin tents and opened it up. He stepped over the sleeping bodies of a woman and her children until he reached that of a bearded man, Jakinu. He rested his hand on his friends sleeping body and shook him lightly. He woke bitterly. “Rise, today it is us who must hunt. Gather your gear with haste, for the Sun continues to rise.” Jakinu stirred, paused for a second then groggily crawled into a sitting position, careful not to disturb his loved. Mikenchul, believing this enough, went himself to get ready for the morning hunt. He got dressed in his hooded parka and slipped on his boots. Under his blankets he searched for his hunting gear. He found them, and stored them away for their travel. Soon he was ready and left the tent. He found Jakinu already waiting for him. They set off silently. They had already discussed their plans yesterday so now they walked off in silent single file. They were now the hunters, silent and fast, the only sound in the air was their boots softly crunching on the already melting morning ice. Soon, it could be heard, the mighty beasts of the steppe. Their haunting shrill cries spread over the land. Horses. They crawled, now on their bellies, hoods over their heads, over a hillock. Over the hillock was a group of the animals, some seven or nine of them. They were just awakening and most of them were still on the ground. The conditions were good. Out of folds of skin they drew out one of their most precious items, their spear throwers. They positioned themselves, so when Mikenchul threw, the horses would run right into Jakinu. Slowly getting up from their bellies and onto their bent legs, they silently crawled towards the group, staying lowdown among a stretch of taller grasses. They had already chosen their target, a sleepy looking individual who was still resting on her bent legs. Her eyes, though weary, had that alert look in them, the spirit of the horse. Moving at minimal speeds, and yet with the steadiness of a rock, Michencul drew his dart and loaded it onto the thrower. In one solid movement, he lifted and brought down their tools. The darts sped towards their target. It hit the upper section of the neck with a solid smacking sound. It sprung and cried out in pain, rearing, bucking. The herd bolted in their opposite direction. The mare, their prey, bolted along with them. Out of the tussocks sprung Jakinu, right in the path of the injured mare. She reared, exposing her vunerable underparts to Jakinu’s dart. With a swift motion of the arm, another dart was impaled in the mares now heavily bleeding neck. Once again the hunters notched their darts and once again they threw. The horse was now neighing madly and circling, looking for an escape. There was none. It fell, exhausted and bleeding. They moved in for the kill. Michencul cautiously crept forwards, his flint knife now in hand. His eyes were fixed and ready, the eyes of the hunter he was. He put his hand on the horses head. It jumped but could offer no further resistance, so Michencul fell to his knees. His lips moved to the silent sacred words of the kill. Jakinu looked on. The knife approached. The knife cut. The horse exploded in a spasm of movement, blood pouring like a river onto the sodden grass. Eventually, it died, its soul carried away to the land of the Sun, where all lives eventually went, to rest with the Gods of old. The hunt was over, now came the hard part. For many hours they toiled on its huge body. The Silent Law decrees that they must take as much as they can carry, and they could carry lots. They skinned it and caught its blood in leather bags, they cut off its legs and packaged its organs. Finally, Michencul, as the killer, had the right to claim its head and so its teeth. He hacked at the base of the skinned skull and tied it to the large package of meat which had grown on his back. Jakinu carried a similar amount. Now it was time to head home. As they headed back, now at almost midday, they could see the vultures from afar circling down for what they had left. Edited by bloom_boi, Nov 1 2012, 04:36 PM.
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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| lamna | Nov 1 2012, 03:28 PM Post #2 |
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Pretty good, but horses don't lie down to sleep very often, or for very long. And bottles? When is this set? |
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Living Fossils Fósseis Vibos: Reserva Natural 34 MYH, 4 tonne dinosaur. [flash=500,450] Video Magic! [/flash] | |
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| bloom_boi | Nov 1 2012, 04:31 PM Post #3 |
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What The?
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Well, I was going to say gourd bottles, but I forgot how to spell it though I think it be better if it is a skin bag, I will edit it.though there are plastics littered in places, as subsequent chapters shall reveal. The mare was an old individual, and so rested more often than the others. This is my project for the NaNoWriMo btw, tomorrow I hope to reach 3000 words. Edited by bloom_boi, Nov 1 2012, 04:35 PM.
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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| lamna | Nov 1 2012, 04:42 PM Post #4 |
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Those bags will likely get pretty manky after a few uses. |
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Living Fossils Fósseis Vibos: Reserva Natural 34 MYH, 4 tonne dinosaur. [flash=500,450] Video Magic! [/flash] | |
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| bloom_boi | Nov 1 2012, 05:30 PM Post #5 |
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What The?
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Probably. That's why you clean em out with a little concentrated piss. |
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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| lamna | Nov 1 2012, 05:54 PM Post #6 |
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Pee does not clean out bloodstains, it makes them smell of pee. |
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Living Fossils Fósseis Vibos: Reserva Natural 34 MYH, 4 tonne dinosaur. [flash=500,450] Video Magic! [/flash] | |
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| bloom_boi | Nov 2 2012, 04:51 AM Post #7 |
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What The?
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Well I don't really know much about cleaning out skin. All you would need to do is sterilise it, no? Wouldn't just plain boiling water do the trick then? |
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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| dialforthedevil | Nov 2 2012, 05:35 AM Post #8 |
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Frumentarii Administrator
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Yeah Im pretty sure boiled water gets out most blood stains. Best off asking the mother ![]() But overall a really good story! The description of the weather particularily hit me
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| bloom_boi | Nov 2 2012, 06:04 AM Post #9 |
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What The?
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Thank you Chapter 2 The return was much harder coming back. The high sun beat down upon the walking piles of meat, and the men below were drenched in blood and sweat. Then they saw the smoke of their huts. There was a lot of smoke. And the smell of burning skin. They threw down their load and ran, with fear in their steps, to the hill that protected the tents from the wind. The sight of burned tents greeted them. Jakinu ran down, screaming the name of his loved ones. Michencul followed, pacing slowly. What was there to do? He walked up to his old friend, who was weeping beside the charred remains of his tent. There were no signs of the other members of the tribe, not even bodies, just burning wood. Michencul left his friend to his grief and looked among his own belongings. Everything of value had been taken. Who would of done this? He thought to himself. On the high plains of the horses, there were only three tribes, that of the Night, that of the Day, and that of the Dawn. Except the tribe of the Dawn was now no more. He looked up, scanning for whatever evidence of the destruction of his home. In the distance, there was another line of smoke, but that of a camp fire, not of burning buildings. Michencul walked over to his friend, put his hand on his shoulder. “Come, Jakinu. We cannot linger”. Jakinu simply nodded, his eyes lost in the infinity. “They are gone” he uttered. “Yes”. “What if they are dead? We won’t be able to send their souls to the Sun...They will be trapped as ghosts.” “We will find them. If they are alive we will rejoice. If they have.....passed, we will set them free. Look, over there” Jakinu slowly raised his grey eyes up to meet the sight “smoke” he said blankly. “We must go there, do you not agree?” Jakinu returned his question with more vigour this time “You think they were raiders?” “What else steals the riches and people and burns down the tents?” “But Samalale and Turkos were here, and they are better fighters than us, how are we going to be able to even approach these people?” he asked fearfully. “We must simply see them, we must know if the rest of the tribe are still with us”. “But what if they are not? What if we cannot reach them?” a note of fear sounded in his voice, a note which Michencul hadn't heard since he was a little boy. He had no answer for that but instead responded “We will go at nightfall, as so they cannot see us” he set off and sat a distance from the remains of the tents and looked into the sun, which was creeping down below the horizon now. Jakinu watched him go off. His mind was ablaze. Everything he knew had disappeared into the distance. He wanted to scream to the world but no sound came out. In the end, after several minutes of circling the camp in desperation, he sat next to Michencul to watch the sun go down. Michencul was interesting man, one could say even strange. He was not of this tribe, though nobody had ever told him that, but of course, him being an clever boy, he had figured it out. His mother had come in the night, dressed in strange furs and with an odd complexion of face. She carried with her a very young baby. The tribe had taken her in of course, despite the fact she could not speak their language, but she died in the sudden sleep that had taken her when she had been laid down. The baby was given to the mother of Jakinu, who was twelve at the time. Jakinu had so grown up as a sort of mentor for Michencul, a teacher but also a brother, and a friend. And now here they where, two people now suddenly alone in the world. They sat in silence, watching the sun slowly go down. The beautiful orange filled the sky, then red, then darkness. It was time. They dumped the horse meat they had worked so hard for. Already it was slightly off. They made a makeshift sack out of a blanket left by the raiders and gathered what they could find into it, including their hunting weapons. Finally, they lit a lamp with the oil of the horse and set off towards the distant firelight of their new found enemy. |
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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| bloom_boi | Nov 2 2012, 10:30 AM Post #10 |
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Chapter 3 They went quietly, stalking the territory. Here the ground was very flat, and the chill night winds had started up again. In the distance they heard strange animal sounds, low, drawn out calls. There were also the sounds of indiscernible talking, though the voices where few and they spoke in hushed tones. Eventually they reached the encampment and killed the light. They approached a makeshift paddock, in which strange beasts rested. They looked similar to horses, but heavily built, and with shorter faces. Their eyes held an odd dolefulness in them. Their most discernible feature was their horns, projecting from their heads, curved and dangerous looking. A short distance away, leaning on the fence post, stood a drowsy looking man, obviously on guard duty of some sort. He wore what seemed to be a kind of skin coat, though it seemed different to normal hide. Michencul and Jakinu crept up behind him, pulling their hoods over their head and moving with utmost caution. Jakinu pulled out his knife, though Michencul, shook his head. Jakinu hesitated, though sheathed it soon after. They crept on in silence until they reached a hut of sort. It was made of what felt like matted hair and it looked like a tent, though an odd one of that, circular, like theirs, but much larger and taller, and with straight instead of sloped walls. Inside could be heard a very soft chattering, interrupted then and now by snoring. They spotted one of these tents which was smaller, and set apart from the rest of them. Outside sat a guard, who crouched next to a dog of kinds, like the tribe’s dog but less furry and an odd colour, orange. Michencul guessed that this was where any survivors of the destruction of the camp where being kept. He whispered his thoughts to Jakinu, who had also figured out a similar thing. Now literally on their bellies, they crawled towards it under the cold darkness. When they arrived at the back portion, Jakinu drew his glass knife and, as quietly as he could, split an opening down the side. He looked in and was greeted by familiar, but scarred, faces. His loved, Kat; his younger son, Domoniki; Eldar Jo, Samalale’s wife, Yuri and Turkos’ daughter, Emli. Jakinu’s older son, and Samalale and Turkos themselves where nowhere to be seen. Jakinu crept in, startling them, though he quickly put his finger over his mouth, gesturing silence. He then crouched down to slit their bonds and then one by one, they crawled out, Jakinu slipping out last with Eldar Jo. Michencul put his hand on his shoulder cheerfully, though noted painful sadness in his eyes. Though there was no time to speak, they were still too close to the encampment, so they set off, silent and blind in the night, to their old, burnt down camp. It was a while till they arrived, they had gotten lost in the night various times, but they soon made it. Michencul set too making a makeshift fire, though the others just sat, in solemn silence. After a while, when the fire had thawed their bones a bit, Michencul dared to ask “Where are the others?” Kat replied “Dead” Jakinu lowered his head to the thing he had already figured out. “...Why?” “They took them when we arrived and killed them” she replied in monotone. “Oh” was all he could bring out of his mouth. Soon after it was Kat who broke the silence again “If we stay much longer they will find out and come for us again” the thought hit Michencul like a hard rock on his head. He jumped up, suddenly panicky. “Then we must set off right now, no?” Kat eyed the sleeping body of Domoniki in her arms, then shook him awake. Jakinu rose “He is right, we cannot stay here”. Elder Jo, who hadn't uttered a word during the entire experience, spoke up in his raspy, ancient voice “We must head for the sea” his bony fingers shakily drew a strange picture, of a type of tower, in the dirt. The rest of the group stared at him in shock “But the sea is the home of the Gods! And that is...very...far away!” Emli said, repeating what the travelling shaman had told her when she was naught but a little girl. “That is true, but it is the only places we can go, we all know this. The horses only ride in this area, and the only place we are welcome are where our fathers come from” “Then let us go” mumbled Jakinu, putting a hand under Elder Jo’s arm, lifting him up. “Let us go from whence they came”. |
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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| whachamacallit2 | Nov 3 2012, 04:45 PM Post #11 |
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Guy who yells at squirrels
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Wow, this is really good! I wonder though, how did you think up the names? Were they just some random thought, or did you base them off something? |
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Click for shameless self plug! Spoiler: click to toggle Get you one at http://whachamacallit1.deviantart.com/ Learn the life, history, and fate of the tidally locked planet Asteria at: http://s1.zetaboards.com/Conceptual_Evolution/topic/5725927/1 | |
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| bloom_boi | Nov 3 2012, 06:06 PM Post #12 |
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What The?
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Thanks a lot your opinions are important for me.They are evolved English names: Michencul-Micheal Jakinu-Jack Samalale-Samuel Turkos-Turk Kat-Katie Domoniki-Dominic Yuri-Yuri Jo-Joesph Emli-Emily Also, I'm sorry I could not write up a chapter today, at was at a friends house. |
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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| bloom_boi | Nov 6 2012, 10:50 AM Post #13 |
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Woo! Update time Chapter 4 It wasn’t long until they set off. Jakinu wanted to go and set the invaders’ tents on fire, but Kat took him away for a hushed argument, from which he returned solemn eyed and quiet, agreeing not to go. They gathered what they had left, little, in left over rags and set off, with one last glance at their now lost home. Then, with already weary steps, they set off. Eldar Jo said the ocean was where the sun went, in the west. Despite the fact it was night, Michencul could clearly remember from where it sank. And so began their long journey. It was relatively easy at first. They all had experience with long hikes, having to travel vast distances on the steppe to find food, water and when their camps changed. The moon and stars lighted their path too, and the wolves where away in the north at this time of year. Through the darkness they crept, like lost foals, the wind sending their hair galloping around their heads. Eventually, the sun rose from the distance, the horizon glowing like a flaming bird’s wings. As the sun lighted the skies, the tribe’s hearts lifted. The steppe was vast, but surely not infinite. When the sun started setting this time, they decided to rest. A whole night and a whole day they had been travelling, it was a rest well deserved. They also ate a little of what Michencul and Jakinu had saved from the kill. They lighted a fire, with some difficulty, and set around cooking scraps of meat impaled on sticks. “How much do we have?” asked Kat. “Not much” replied Michencul, avoiding eye contact. “Not enough” he later added, in a quiet voice. With that the group ate in silence. They slept under a pile of the dirty rags, the children and Eldar Jo sleeping in peace, while the adults took turns to keep the fire going. Unlike the last night, which had dragged on miserable, this one seemed to pass like the blinking of an eye. Their spirits were sad, but they were calm and rested. The sun lifted itself once again like it had done for indeterminable times, and the troop lifted themselves from their stupor. Kat was sitting on the balls of her feet, watching the meat dry on the makeshift stick stand she had built over the smouldering fire. She turned, her face still tired. “It would have rotted if we hadn’t dried it” she said irritable. They ate a little, and passed round the blood sack, for they had no water. As he thought of this lack of water, he saw dark clouds gathering in the east. The rains where coming. And so they did, massive drops of water falling upon them. Already their bag was washed of blood and filled with fresh water. They hid themselves under the rags, which protected themselves from the freezing shower, though would also make them unsuitable to sleep on come the night. Dominiki slipped twice, though his crying could not be heard over the roar of the rain. Soon, large puddles had grown into streams through the soft valley they walked through, and they had to climb the now slippery slope onto higher grounds, as to not get swept away by the newly born river. It seemed to be an age before the rain lightened up. But it did pass, and a grey cloudy sky presented itself to the wandering tribe. But, they could see what they had been waiting for now. The Edge Mountains. Edited by bloom_boi, Nov 6 2012, 11:18 AM.
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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| whachamacallit2 | Nov 6 2012, 01:34 PM Post #14 |
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Guy who yells at squirrels
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Huh, so where exactly is this tribe? I first thought they were somewhere in Utah or something, but the "Edge Mountains" sort of changed that opinion. |
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Click for shameless self plug! Spoiler: click to toggle Get you one at http://whachamacallit1.deviantart.com/ Learn the life, history, and fate of the tidally locked planet Asteria at: http://s1.zetaboards.com/Conceptual_Evolution/topic/5725927/1 | |
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| bloom_boi | Nov 6 2012, 05:16 PM Post #15 |
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What The?
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State of Montana, near the border. Spoiler: click to toggle
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"You shall perish, whatever you do! If you are taken with arms in your hands, death! If you beg for mercy, death! Whichever way you turn, right, left, back, forward, up, down, death! You are not merely outside the law, you are outside humanity. Neither age nor sex shall save you and yours. You shall die, but first you shall taste the agony of your wife, your sister, your sons and daughters, even those in the cradle! Before your eyes the wounded man shall be taken out of the ambulance and hacked with bayonets or knocked down with the butt end of a rifle. He shall be dragged living by his broken leg or bleeding arm and flung like a suffering, groaning bundle of refuse into the gutter. Death! Death! Death!" | |
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though I think it be better if it is a skin bag, I will edit it.






9:24 AM Jul 11