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I need some help; getting over my ex-best friend.
Topic Started: Oct 20 2011, 06:39 AM (757 Views)
seascorpion
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Why Can't I Hold All These Mongols?

This is something thats been bothering me for the last year. about a year ago I came out, and my best friend since my first year of school cut me off.
I know some people are going to say that if he's such an arsehole, then I'm better off without him. The problem is, when you hang out with someone everyday, before school, during school, after school, weekends, holidays, when you have so many common interests (eg,I wouldn't be surprised if he joined this site) that its ridiculous, when you play videogames with them, watch movies with them,read the same books, have hundreds of in-jokes with them, when you know their house inside out. all of that, for ten years, its kind of hard to dismiss, I mean, and he could just turn around and say it didn't happen? Hes a fucking agnostic. he was interested in evolution and science, he thought creationists were stupid, and it didn't matter shit.
this is doing my head in. every fucking day for the last year I've remembered this guy just cut me off when I said I was gay. I talked to him afterwards, I tried to reason, and he just got more cold.
I need to get over this, but I don't know how.
I am sick of getting depressed over this. has anyone got any advice or comments?
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lamna
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I've got nothing really, but I'd feel like a dick if I just walked away without saying anything.

From what you've said, he does not sound worth it. The fact that he just ditches you after your long history makes him sound pretty bad. I'd recommend looking for information on family members reacting badly to people coming out for advice, seen as how long your friendship lasted.

And not believing in god just means you have to use different excuses for homophobia.
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Russwallac
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My suggestion? Forget him. If he decided that he didn't like you just beacuse you're gay, then he wasn't really your friend in the first place. <_<
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Carlos
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Indeed, true friends never leave. That guy was just a dumbass who probably only hanged out with people out of social needs rather than genuine empathy.
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dialforthedevil
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Fuck that guy, sounds like a bit of a wanker if hes gunna be like that. Either he will get over himself and realise hes been a cunt or life goes on :/ you will meet someone nicer :)
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T.Neo
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I know you said that you think it's more complex than "he's an arsehole, you're better off without him", but...

I have to say that I think such a statement is extremely accurate.

I have to agree with the others here. I... hearing that a person has done those actions, I wouldn't want anything to do with that person.

He's clearly a homophobe and homophobes are horrible. He could also be so insecure that he's scared of his own friend. What a shame. :(
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lamna
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I'm not going as far as the other people. A bad end does not invalidate a friendship, but I think it's a lost cause.
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colddigger
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I'd be interested in his reason for cutting you off, two possibilities in my mind would be he wants to prevent people from associating your homosexuality with him (an insecurity) or that he feels after all that time you actually just had a thing for him (a trust issue and possibly a sense of betrayal).

If he honestly cut you off simply for what you are then it is just his mentality and there's nothing you can really do about it until he becomes more open.
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Kamidio
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Don't forget him. But look forward to the future. Keep up with his whereabouts. And when the time is right, hunt him down. And when you have him pinned on the floor of his house, tell him what he did was wrong, pick him up, dust him off, and walk the fuck outta there to Guile's theme with some swag in your step.
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seascorpion
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Why Can't I Hold All These Mongols?

Thanks everyone.
Ive tried talking to him but he just stares at me and tells me to leave. thing is we both have the same friends, im friends with his friends and vica versa. as for his attitude, in the words of another friend
Quote:
 
"your both traumitised, michael (me) is because he lost his best friend because of his sexuality, he is traumatised because a f*g got that close to him"

so thats just dandy.
from what I've heard he thinks that I spent the last decade trying to get him in the sack.
as for forgetting, that won't happen, its kind of hard to forget a decade with this guy.
Edited by seascorpion, Oct 21 2011, 12:41 AM.
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colddigger
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Joke's over! Love, Parasky
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Ah, so it is a trust issue. Is he really that good lookin or is he just full of himself?
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lamna
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So good looking you were interested in him pre-sexuality?

I rather expected it would be him thinking you were after him. Surely he knows now, then again how would I explain that? "Hey, I've never wanted to touch you with my gentleman's area, ok?"
Edited by lamna, Oct 21 2011, 04:20 AM.
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Are nipples or genitals necessary, lamna?
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seascorpion
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Why Can't I Hold All These Mongols?

He's more on the "full of himself" side rather than being attractive.
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lamna
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Ah I see. Well I think any bringing of the rift is going to be gradual, if it happens at all.

Just keep being who you are, and if he does not come back then I'm afraid there is not much you you can do.
Living Fossils

Fósseis Vibos: Reserva Natural


34 MYH, 4 tonne dinosaur.
T.Neo
 
Are nipples or genitals necessary, lamna?
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Russwallac
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People have this weird thing where they assume that gays are automatically attracted to any male they see. :/ If that was true, then it would be true for straight people as well. And if that was true, I'd have had a crush by now... >.< (insert joke about love life here)
"We've started a cult about a guy's liver, of course we're going to demand that you give us an incredibly scientific zombie apocalypse." -Nanotyranus

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