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My Planned Novel; my take on alien transplantation
Topic Started: Feb 28 2011, 01:43 AM (1,325 Views)
Canis Lupis
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Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the Earth.

Preliminary Plot Summary
 
The aliens (decided to call them the Servain) have discovered Humans, but have kept their existence a secret, preferring instead to use Earth for tourism purposes.

The Servain live on a sparse, deserty world (though no single-biome thing) and marvel at the idea of oceans, beaches, and rainforests. Just like vacationing Humans, the Servain see these things as marvels of nature and regularly take trips to Earth just for oceans, beaches, and rainforests.

Or, at least, the nobles (equivalent to the rich and the government) do. And this helps to create a widening gulf between the rich and the poor.

The Servain live on a planet called Elorem. The government is a highly feudal empire (that spans a vast majority of the planet), having been heavily influenced by a reverse Marxist revolution (the rich must control the poor because the poor are too stupid to govern themselves).

There's a massive civil war brewing on Elorem, mostly in response to this reverse Marxist revolutio n(which happened about two hundred years ago). The poor Servain are, quite frankly, fed up with their constant oppression by the rich people and go on a massive strike.

They are quickly subdued by the army of the rich (which is quite technologically advanced). However, word of revolt has reached throughout the empire and one serf (named Erotir) gets word of it and takes it to the next level.

He runs away from the industrial plant he works at and recruits a large number of workers to join him. Late on night, they raid a military storehouse and are now equipped with the rich army's weaponry.

The rich get word of this highly-planned revolt and send their army out to stop it. However, the army is quickly overpowered through a cunning use of guerilla warfare and general strategy. Soon, other upset workers join this revolution and the rich start to get really worried.

In a word, this is a Marxist revolution with a potent fighting force behind it. This potent fighting force shows no mercy to the rich that have ridden their backs for so many years and often put Servain nobles to death quite ceremoniously and with thundrous applause. No one is exempt from the public executions, not even children. The Servain nobility, quite understandably, fear for their very lives.

One particular noble Servain family receives word that their particular province is next on the rebel's hit list. Wanting to preserve some shred of nobility, they send their son (named Chainert) to the paradise of Earth to keep him alive.

He of course protests, thinking the planet backwards since the poorer people can make themselves richer just by working hard. The parents, of course, insist and send him to Earth anyway, insisting that he'll eventually get past the disgusting poor rabble. They make him look like a Human and ship him to Earth.

They ship him to a beautiful tropical place. South Carolina, to be exact.

His Human form is too old to go to high school, so he must enter the work force since his parents gave him no form of money to sustain himself on Earth (he does have some Servain currency with him, but conversion to U.S. dollars is a bitch with Servain money unless you want people to find out you're an alien).

He adopts the Human name Buster Greyhound (after seeing a billboard for the Greyhound Bus saying "Would you like a bus or a greyhound?").

Since he has not had a college education, he does not receive a very high-paying job. More like a blue collar job.

He detests the work at first, resorting instead to gorging himself and making those around him do the work. But he eventually meets some workers who urge him to work and he becomes extremely friendly with them.

A female coworker quickly becomes interested in him, but he sees her as ugly (what are those tumors growing out of your chest anyway?) and just remains a really close friend.

Meanwhile, Erotir learns of this and goes to Earth himself (in a Human form) to find the prince, leaving the rest of the revolution up to his most trusted generals. However, Erotir (taking the name George Lincoln after walking around Washington D.C. (he lands in the countryside just outside the city)).

Erotir/George realizes that Earth is in the middle of a recession and there are a lot of unhappy laborers. He quickly rises to political prominence (having landed at the time senatorial elections are coming about) and begins to persuade the workers to rise up.

His ultimate plan is to use a massive number of Human soldiers on Elorem. There are a large number of Humans on Earth and our technology, in certain aspects, is on par with Servain technology.

However, he wants to kill the prince so that the latter can't amass an equally high number of Human soldiers to fight for the nobility.

Some of the general's Human followers find the prince and corner him, destroying his Human form permanently, leaving the prince in his alien form (we'll work it out. I want it to be a humanoid, but realistic (therefore, not humanesque).

Chainert/Buster stays home from work for awhile since he cannot enter his Human form (he was warned extensively by his parents to not let anyone know his secret). Some of his buddies from work, worried that he has a terrible illness, come to check on him. They find out that he is an alien but, after the initial shock wears off, they still feel attached to him.

Later, the female coworker comes over and, discovering the prince in his alien form, reveals her dirty little secret. She reveals her own alien form and tells her story about how she was part of nobility but felt such a strong bond with Humanity and the freedom it offered that she stayed in her Human form rather than return to Elorem.

"The suit changes you," she says. "You don't want it to, but you can't help but love these Humans and their culture the more you act like them. The freedom, oh the freedom is just exhilirating!"

Erotir/George, knowing that the Chainert's/Buster's Human form is completely gone, decides that now is the perfect time to attack. So he gets some of his Human followers together to finish the prince off once and for all (his followers realize that he is an alien).

The general, who has come down to Earth previously (he served as a servent for a noble family on vacation) and is used to the Human form and all the different planetary characteristics (Earth has less gravity and more oxygen than Elorem does). Because of this, the general soon overpowers the prince.

However, the prince's Human friends rise to their friend's aid and start to beat back the general. Eventually, it's an all-out streetwar between the general and his followers and the prince and his friends.

The prince eventually triumphs, but decides to do the noble thing and let the general go (after destroying his Human form though). Then the prince must decide whether to stay on Earth and help his female coworker establish a coexistence between the Nobel and the Humans or to go back to Tudora, finish the war, and put an end to the oppressive feudal system, thus letting his people experience complete freedom for the first time in a long time.






So a lot of you expressed interest in this plot when I brought it up on Yorick's topic "Would you see this movie?"

First of all, specifically, what's good about it?

Second of all, specifically, what's bad about it?

Third of all, how can I make an alien that could pass itself off as a Human without making it humanesque?
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dialforthedevil
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I like it, its familiar but not cliche and also displays a deeper level of thinking.
Just be careful you dont make this class war to political otherwise you could end up receiving quite a backlash.
Perhaps make the alien quite beastly? Make it look slightly bovine. Maybe the minotaur was an imprisoned Servain. With this bovine idea it could also be a little nod to beauty and the beast?
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Canis Lupis
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Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the Earth.

Perhaps. I was thinking of making the poorer Servain look a little biologically different than the richer Servain, mostly due to breeding within the same social class.

Heck, I was imagining something akin to a gorilla whose legs are just as strong as the arms. No hair, just rough skin (almost like shark scales).

Their eyes would probably be a tad bigger, perhaps a remnant of a possible nocturnal ancestor.

I imagine their mouth would be just below the eyes and quite large, perhaps with a long tongue.

As I imagined it, their would be no neck and the head would be merged into the body somewhat.




Oh yeah, unless I want to get some sort of message across, I'll try to keep the politics within a certain limit.
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dialforthedevil
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Okay that sounds cool. Make them look sorta regal though. Perhaps the upper class have long neck and a crown like skull while serfs have flat skull and no neck?
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Canis Lupis
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Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the Earth.

Well, they'd be descended from the same stock of animals. But beauty to the Servain would be a different concept than beauty for us. Having a neck is seen as some sort of bulbous growth, almost like a tumor. So the rich would probably go for no neck.
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dialforthedevil
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Ah but the readers would not recognise that as such...
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Canis Lupis
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Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the Earth.

Eh, quite true.
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lamna
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Or just make the nobles, taller and healthier looking. Maybe a little fatter too.

Sounds like an interesting story to me.
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Are nipples or genitals necessary, lamna?
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Canis Lupis
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Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the Earth.

Yeah, that's what I was planning on. Paler, fatter, and just generally healthier.

And thanks lamna.
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dialforthedevil
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Actually that does sound more logical :) i really want to read this
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lamna
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They kind of remind me of the old People's Republic of Haven, first the Legislaturalists ruling it as a welfare state aristocracy in all but name, then the revolution by the Committee of Public Safety and the dictators Rob S. Pierre and Oscar Saint-Just, finally replaced by free Republic of Haven lead by Eloise Pritchart.
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Jasonguppy
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Very interesting. I might read it just for
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(what are those tumors growing out of your chest anyway?)
. I like the plot, but it is slightly cliche. But im fine w/ cliche.
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Canis Lupis
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Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the Earth.

May I ask what's cliche about it? Well-used cliche, I'm fine with. But other cliche, I want to eliminate.
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Holben
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Rumbo a la Victoria

Cliche vs. trope...

I like this idea.
But why no necks? Surely, they want to be able to move their facial organs relative to their body?
Time flows like a river. Which is to say, downhill. We can tell this because everything is going downhill rapidly. It would seem prudent to be somewhere else when we reach the sea.

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However, the prince's Human friends rise to their friend's aid and start to beat back the general. Eventually, it's an all-out streetwar between the general and his followers and the prince and his friends.

I have trouble with this bit, I must admit. I presume the general will at least have trained his chosen followers in combat. Do you really expect a group of blue-collar workers to stand up to them?
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