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The stupidity.
Topic Started: Dec 23 2008, 12:47 PM (247 Views)
Crazyguy945
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Read this whole thing it is hilarious!

The Stupidity


Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

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Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

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Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

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Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

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Only in America......do we b uy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


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Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

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EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?

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Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
=0 A

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

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Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.



DISCLAIMER: I do not take credit for this.
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JJJJJJJJ
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Hahaha, good jokes man, these are great, where did you find these anyway?
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Wiley
Deputy MoF: Tech
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


hahah that was like the only one i found funny, but it made me laugh my ass off
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Crazyguy945
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A friend, sort of.
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JJJJJJJJ
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Which sight is it on Crazy?
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Veneke
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57th Overlanders Ambassador
Seeing as how we're having a laugh here... I figured I'd post this (in case anyone's wondering, I'm Irish, born and bred).


Being Irish is all about driving in a German car to a pub, watching English football, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian Tikka Masala, Chinese chicken curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American TV shows on a Japanese TV.


And the most Irish thing of all? .....The suspicion of all things foreign!


Some amazing 'Oirish' facts.


1. Only in Ireland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.


(2 to 5 were actually repeats of things already mentioned... <_< )


6. Only in Ireland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.


7. Only in Ireland would there be disabled parking places in front of the ice-skating rink in Smithfield, Dublin.


Not to mention.....


8. 3 Irish die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.


9. 142 Irish were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.


10. 58 Irish are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.


11. 31 Irish have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.


12. 19 Irish have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.


13. Irish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.


14. 18 Irish had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.


15. A massive 543 Irish were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.


16. 5 Irish were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.


and finally...

17. In 2000, eight Irish were admitted to hospital with 'fractured skulls' incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet bowl.


Veneke chuckles
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firstsealord

wow that is pretty sad.....but fricken hilarious. Binging validity to the statement... "Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye...and then its fucking hilarious!!!"
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Crazyguy945
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JJJJJJJJ
Dec 24 2008, 05:38 PM
Which sight is it on Crazy?
It's not on a site, that I know of, I got it in an e-mail.
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JJJJJJJJ
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Ah, gottcha, now, alot of stupidity to come :D

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6204903272262158881&ei=lZpZSZeXKZ7OqwL_jI3_Cg&q=Super+Mario+-+Frustration&hl=en

HAHAHAHA

Alright, from HAHAHA to HOHOHO, Santa! Little Late, but still :)

http://gizmodo.com/5101296/santa-claus-gmail-account-exposed

Now, to some serious talk :

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.

Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.

Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore?
A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

Doctors say because of Michael Irvin's broken clavicle, it will be 6-8 weeks before he can video a team mate having sex.

I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin. They got rid of the refrigerator, so now they want a coke machine.

The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the Cowboys play better on "grass".

The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System", Yes your Honor, No your Honor.

The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions.

The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Johnny Cochran

Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights.

Alright, that is your Comedy Stimulas Pakage for the week, I'll be back with more soon :D
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Deleted User
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very funny!
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