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Writing Contest
Topic Started: Mar 15 2009, 08:58 PM (278 Views)
Super Luigi
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Post a short story, a poem, whatever!

It just has to be moderately long.

Due May 1st.

Deductions
Length (-20 if too long, -50 if too short)
Repeat phrase (-.55 • number of words repeated. [Rounding is necessary)
Plaigerizing (-100)
Total Possible Points: 100

~SL
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A2Sniper
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I have a story.

Death by Scrabble

By: Charlie Fish (Yes, His last name is Fish, lol.)



It's a hot day, and I hate my wife.


We're playing Scrabble. That's how bad it is. !'m 42 years old, it's a blistering hot Sunday afternoon, and all I can think of to do with my life is play Scrabble.

I should be out, doing exercise, spending money, meeting people. I don't think I've spoken to anyone except my wife since Thursday morning. On Thursday morning, I spoke to the milkman.

My letters are crap.

I play, appropriately, BEGIN. With the N on the little pink star. Twenty-two points.

I watch my wife's smug expression as she rearranges her letters. Clack, clack, clack. I hate her. If she wasn't around, I'd be doing something interesting right now. I'd be climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I'd be starring in the latest Hollywood blockbuster. I'd be sailing the Vendee Globe on a 60-foot clipper called the New Horizons- I don't know, but I'd be doing something.

She plays JINXED, the the J on the double letter space. 30 points. She's beating me already. Maybe I should kill her.

If I only had a D, then I could play MURDER. That would be a sign. That would be permission.

I start chewing on my U. It's a bad habit, I know. All my letters are frayed. I play WARMER for 22 points, mainly so I could keep chewing on my U.

As I'm picking new letters from the bag, I find myself thinking- the letters will tell me what to do. I they spell out KILL, or STAB, or her name, or anything, i'll do it right now. I'll finish her off.

My rack spells MIHZPA, plus the U in my mouth. Darn.

The heat of the sun is pushing through the window. I can hear buzzing insects outside. I hope they're not bees. My cousin Harold swallowed a bee when he was nine., his throat swelled up, and he died. I hope that if they are bees, they fly into my wife's throat.

She plays SWEATIER, using all of her letters. 24 points plus a 50 point bonus. If it wasn't too hot to move, I would strangle her right now.

I am getting sweatier. It needs to rain, to clear the air. As soon as that thought crosses my mind, I find a good word. HUMID on a double word score, using the D of JINXED. The U makes a little splash of Saliva when I put it down. Another 22 points. I hope she has lousy letters.

She tells me she has lousy letters. For some reason, I hate her more.

She plays FAN, with the F on a double-letter, and gets up to fill the kettle and turn on the air conditioning.

It's the hottest day for ten years, and my wife is turning on the kettle. This is why I hate my wife. I play ZAPS, with the Z doubled, and she gets a static shock off the air conditioning unit. I find this remarkably satisfying. She sits back down with a heavy sigh, and starts fiddling with her letters again. Clack clack. Clack clack. I feel a terrible rage build up inside me. Some inner poison slowly spreading through my limbs, and when it gwets to my fingertips, I am going to jump out of my chair, spilling the Scrabble tiles all over the floor, and I am going to start hitting her again and again and again.

The rage gets to my fingertips and passes. My heart is beating. I'm sweating. I think my face actually twitches. Then I sigh, deeply, and sit back in my chair. The kettle starts whistling. As the whistle builds, it makes me feel hotter.

She plays READY on a double-word for 18 points, then goes to pour herself a cup of tea. No, I do not want one.

I steal a blank tile from the letter bag when she's not looking, and throw back a V from my rack. She gives me a suspicious look. She sits back down with her cup of tea, making a cup ring on the table, as I play an 8-letter word: CHEATING, using the A of READY. 64 points, including the 50-point bonus, which means I'm beating her now.

She asks me if I cheated.

I really, really hate her.

She plays IGNORE on the triple-word for 21 points. The score is now 153 to her, 155 to me.

The steam rising from her cup of tea makes me feel hotter. I try to make murderous words with the letters on my rack, but the best I can do is SLEEP.

My wife sleeps all the time. She slept through an argument our next-door neighbors had that resulted in a broken door, a smashed TV, and a Teletubby Lala doll with all the stuffing coming out. And then she yelled at me for being moody the next day from lack of sleep.

If only there was some way for me to get rid of her.

I spot a chance to use all my letters. EXPLODES, using the X of JINXED. 72 points. That'll show her.

As I put the last letter down, there is a deafening bang, and the air conditioning unit falls.

My heart is racing, but not from the shock of the bang. I don't believe it- but it can't be a coincidence. The letters made it happen. I palyed the word EXPLODES, and it happened- the air conditioning unit exploded. And before, i played the word CHEATING when I cheated. And ZAP when my wife got the electric shock. The words are coming true. The letters are choosing their future. The whole game is - JINXED.

My life plays SIGN, with the N on a triple-letter, for 10 points.

I have to test this.

I have to play something and see if it happens. Something unlikely, to prove that the letters are making it happen. My rack is ABQYFWE. That doesn't leave me with a lot of options. I start frantically chewing on the B.

I play FLY, using the L of EXPLODES. I sit back in my chair and close my eyes, waiting for the sensation of rising up from my chair. Waiting to fly.

Stupid. I open my eyes, and there's a fly. An insect, buzzing around. above the Scrabble board, surfing the thermals from the tepid cup of tea. That proves nothing. The fly could've been there anyway.

I need to play something unambiguous. Something that cannot be misinterpreted. Something absolute and final. Something terminal. Something murderous.

My wife plays CAUTION, using a blank tile for the N. 18 points.

My rack is AQWEUK, plus the B in my mouth. I am awed by the power of the letters, and frustrated that I cannot wield it. Maybe I should cheat again, and pick out the letters I need to spell SLASH or SLAY.

Then it hits me. The perfect word. A powerful, dangerous, terrible word.

I play QUAKE for 19 points.

I wonder if the strength of the quake will proportionate to how many points it scored. I can feel the trembling energy of potential in my veins. I am commanding fate. I am manipulating destiny.

My wife plays DEATH for 34 points for 34 points, just as the room starts to shake.

I gasp with surprise and vindication - and the B that I was chewing on gets lodged in my throat. I try to cough. My face goes red, then blue. My throat swells. I draw blood clawing at my neck. The earthquake builds to a climax.

I fall to the floor. My wife just sits there, watching.
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Super Luigi
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Good job. Unfortunately, that is too long, and so you will be docked points. If you haven't included the name of the author, you would've plaigerized, and would've been banned, plus I would have had the cops breathing down your neck. (-20)

You have repeated 2 words near the end. "for 34 points for 34 points" That will dock you. (-2)
Possible Points: 100
Points docked: 22
Points earned: 78

~SL
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A2Sniper
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You're a dick you know that? lol. Thanks for spotting SOME mistakes, but that story was as long as I posted.
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Super Luigi
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RocknRollMario
Mar 18 2009, 07:32 AM
You're a dick you know that? lol. Thanks for spotting SOME mistakes, but that story was as long as I posted.
I will say this as calmly as I can.

I am sick and tired of your behavior these past 2 days. You need to get your act together, or you will be DEMOTED. Further punishment will involve a tempaban/jailing, so try to act calm. I may be your brother, but here, I am higher in rank. DO NOT attempt to aggravate me even further, or severe repurcussions will be made. Read the rules THROROUGHLY!

Considerably,
The Administration.
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