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"Church" of AirborneCrab
Topic Started: 21 Apr 2009, 05:59 PM (287 Views)
Jake
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#We're flying high, watching the world, pass us by. Never want to come down, never want to put my feet back down on the ground...#
NB: THIS IS AN IDEA. THE CHANCES OF THIS ACTUALLY BEING PULLED OFF ARE NON-EXISTANT. THIS IS FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

So, some of you may know about the Cult of Scientology. I wondered if I could come up with an idea for a cult that was just a little less far-fetched.
I did.

There is a great entity known only as 'Mother Crab'. She put a curse on humanity for eating crabs. We, as the CoABC must protect crabs from being eaten, to obtain immunity from her curse, and instead be blessed for life. To save them, we must send dead crabs into orbit of the earth to protect them from being eaten, and there Mother Crab can revive the dead crabs and bring them to life on earth again. The humans supporting this noble act will be rewards with wonderful lives, their problems fixed. That's the belief. In practice, few crabs would be sent up because this would be highly expensive.

1: Steal Customers from cult that threatens it's customers... hm maybe Scientology.
2: Send crabs into orbit
3: Get paid
4: WIN.

It's a rough idea, but just thinking how many people believe in Scientology... it would be VERY easy to pull off. ^o)

Um, thoughts.
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BasiltheDragon
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Ninja Shitz
Sadly I'm already in too deep with the Cult of Glenology.

On the other hand, this is an intriguing concept. Ho hum.
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Mr. Dodecahedron
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Maindbreakah
Fucking awesome idea, really, but fucking hard to pull off, as you said. My advice is to steal babies and indoctrinate them. Sure, it's horrendous, but that's religion for ya, justifying the means with a ridiculous end - all their children being brainwashed into believing stuff without evidence. I am almost certain it isn't the case with every single religious person (1048575/1048576 sure), but I bet it is for a significant amount of them.
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Jake
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#We're flying high, watching the world, pass us by. Never want to come down, never want to put my feet back down on the ground...#
There's a threat of it becoming a 'Santa Claus' thing though if I don't drill it in well enough.
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kennedy_45
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"Hee... Hee... Hee..."
I join.
I'll preach to my family at dinner time. =D
Do I get a high status? :LOLFACE:
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Jake
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#We're flying high, watching the world, pass us by. Never want to come down, never want to put my feet back down on the ground...#
You can be an honorary member. That means you pay double that of a member and be twice as misguided for your loyalty. ^o)
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kennedy_45
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"Hee... Hee... Hee..."
I told my family I now believe in the Mother Crab.
I think they actually think I'm crazy. xD
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Daft
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Cornerstone
And just now I see an advertisement of Jesus at the bottom of the page? O_O

Sounds neat though.
COUNT ME IN


Does this include that frites will rule the world in 30 years?
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Jake
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#We're flying high, watching the world, pass us by. Never want to come down, never want to put my feet back down on the ground...#
It does now. =D Be sure to send cash, not cheques please, thanks.
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Twisted
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Insectoid Scum
I had an idea.
Our synagogues could be the equivalent of crab shaped pueblos!
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Jake
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#We're flying high, watching the world, pass us by. Never want to come down, never want to put my feet back down on the ground...#
Twisted
5 May 2009, 02:04 AM
I had an idea.
Our synagogues could be the equivalent of crab shaped pueblos!
I'm going for whatever's cheapest for maximum profit. =P I was thinking a building made of cardboard.
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connor
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wat
dont make us hated by anon.. wtf is wrong with you..
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Jake
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#We're flying high, watching the world, pass us by. Never want to come down, never want to put my feet back down on the ground...#
For the record:

1: Anon don't give a shit about this. In fact the whole Scientology thing has gotten old for them now.
2: This forum isn't going to have random anons browsing about.

...I think that's enough to close the case. =P
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connor
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wat
cults r gay
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Mark
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IMMA PLAYING MY PIANOOOO
Crabs r awesome food im not doin it kthxbye
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Timeh
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if you read this you're cool
4chan is dead, anon is no longer powerful
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Much credit to davadude for the skin. =)