Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
[Looking For Group] [RPG Rules] [Staff Request] [Quest Board] [Today's Active Topics]

Non-Weekly Quote:
(Updated when the fancy strikes us)
"Strong Pokemon, weak Pokemon. That is only the selfish perception of people. Truly skilled trainers win with their favorites" - Karen, E4

Recent Site Updates

Althea's done. Back to Tohea with us all! http://s14.zetaboards.com/tohea/index/


Current Tourney Leaders
James Ramos - 2/0
Randy Savage - 2/0
Breia Exarch - 1/0
Daniel Genrud - 1/0
Sophia Blackwell - 1/0
Zackary Joel Ortega - 1/1
Devlin - -0/70

You are currently viewing Althea as a guest. If you would like to view the RP forums or post in the out of character forums, please register an account. Enjoy your stay!

Join our community


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features.

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
Waiting Time; [Space Jawa + Usar]
Topic Started: Apr 8 2010, 09:51:24 AM (736 Views)
Usar

---Brandon---

"Morgan, all I need is a copy of whatever you write, something to provide proof."

He reaches out to shake Morgan's hand, then pulls back once he sees that the distance is a little too far to reach.

With a sheepish grin on his face, he continued, "How do you want to stay in touch? Phones don't work here and in the bustle in New Haven I don't think we'd meet that frequently."

He scratches his chin for a second, deep in thought.

"How about you give me your room number, then after I get settled I'll drop by and let you know where I am. Sound good?"

---Sam and Max---

While Brandon and Morgan were talking, Sam and Max were getting to know Jade a little better.

"So, how old are you anyway, pipsqueak?"

"Max!"

"What? I'm curious."


Sam sighs, "Nevermind him, what's it like being with Morgan? I usually have to end up bailing these two out with teleport after they get in trouble since someone hasn't taken the time to learn how to control it."

"I... I'm just a slow bloomer, that's all! Lot's of Ralts have that problem!"

[193/4336]
Brandon Slick
Posted Image Posted Image
Sam and Max


Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Space Jawa
Member Avatar

Just a copy of what he was planning to write anyway? That was simple enough. His next question, not so much.

“Funny you should mention that.” Morgan said, sitting up again. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t exactly have a room. I just got here yesterday, and I didn’t bother with any of that till I was chased inside by a crazy runaway bird, almost bitten by a wild snake, and more or less ended the day by crashing in a spare room without setting up anything long term. I’m sure they’ve got to have some messaging or bulletin board thing in the Pokémon Center, though.

****Jade****

“It is OK. I do not tele…tel…do that thing either.” Jade said to Max, completely ignorant of the idea that teleportation was a skill her species was incapable of in the first place. “I am sure you will learn it later. Maybe I’ll learn it too!” She said with a huge grin on her face. “But I have not had much time to learn things yet. Morg and Mario OK with that though. They teach me how to fight and chase me around and stuff. They my friends, like you, but there all the time. I like them a lot.”


[207/2316]
Edited by Space Jawa, Apr 15 2010, 11:45:11 AM.
Morgan Grant

:charmander :sandshrew
****Mario*********Jade****
**12/3/2/3(5)/1/4**11/2/3/0/3/11**
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Usar

---Brandon---

Brandon strokes his chin fuzz, "Well, I guess that makes things simple. After you're done here we can just find wherever they do the housing and get our assignments. What do you think?"

---Sam and Max---

Max, still blushing from the revelation of his little secret, questioned Jade, "We've met Morgan, but who is Mario? Is he strong? Well, he's gotta be if he can keep up with all your energy."

Surprisingly, Sam had nothing to say about the last remark.
---

[82/4418]

((OOC: Sorry about the delay on this, I hit a major block and just got over it today.))
Brandon Slick
Posted Image Posted Image
Sam and Max


Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Space Jawa
Member Avatar

“I suppose that works.” Morgan replied. “Though I need to wait till my Charmander’s all healed up.” Even if there was nothing else he did before he actually bothered to get a real room assignment, that was one thing he couldn’t wait and come back for later. “I had hoped to search around a little for answers about just what’s up with this whole tournament structure, but I suppose that can wait.”

****Jade****

“Mario is my first friend.” Jade said, more than happy to talk about her fellow Pokémon. “He watch me when Morg not able to. I keep him really busy. He not much bigger than me, and has fire on his tail. It is really neat. He help teach me how to fight and stuff. I like Mario. He a good friend to me.”

[135/2451]
Morgan Grant

:charmander :sandshrew
****Mario*********Jade****
**12/3/2/3(5)/1/4**11/2/3/0/3/11**
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Usar

---Brandon---

Brandon rubs the back of his neck, "Sorry if I got a little too enthusiastic there, I'll go grab my room and then make my way back here to drop the number off with you. Didn't mean to take you away from your plans for the day and all that."

He is about to get up, then he remembers something he wanted to say.

"Oh, and I hope your Pokémon feels better soon."

He gets up and motions to Sam and Max.

"Come on you two, let's go find a room."

---Sam and Max---

"Come on you two, let's go find a room"

Sam and Max look up from where they have been conversing with Jade, then nod.

"Looks like we have to get going, pipsqueak, later!"

Max then turns and walks away.

Sam looks at Jade and winces, "Sorry again for how much of an ass he's been. I've got to go, but we should talk again sometime."

She catches up to Max and Brandon, and the three of them walk off in search of a room.

[180/4598]
Brandon Slick
Posted Image Posted Image
Sam and Max


Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Exer
Member Avatar
YOUR SOUL. NOW!
Fin du chapitre

Grading:

Space Jawa: For some odd reason, I know you can do much better than this. I'm not sure if this is your first thread, but it did not really exceed what I thought it would have been. I really wish you would have written more detailed descriptions within your posts. If you have been more descriptive, they would have been better by far. I know there is not a required word count, but spacing between each sentence written, and smaller posts can usually hurt you. Though you did not do that as much, it was primarily with your dialogue sections. Try to write a little more, and give things a little bit more detail next time. I know you can do better! I want to see you try harder next time, and do what I know you can do!
Word Count: 2451 (Possible XP 0-4) Rounding down to 2,000

Usar: I have very mixed feelings regarding your posts. You have clearly put a lot of effort into them, which is quite commendable, but perhaps you aren't exactly connecting just yet. There are many areas in which you did wonderfully considering your RP experience, however there are still (as there will always be, myself included) areas for improvement. Some of the things you can work on to improve your posts are your tenses, details/descriptions, and flow.
Word Count: 4598 (Possible XP 0-10) Rounding up to 5,000

Together: Together, honestly, it was not very eye catching. The lack of descriptions and reading material throughout the posts felt like I was reading a book with just pictures. It went by quick. Also a few of your descriptions of your actions could use more editing and thought to them. Try to describe your characters actions a little more thoroughly, rather than the typical one-liner. It was not horrible, but it was not good either. Though I did see some form of progress of skill throughout the thread, which is ALWAYS a good thing. I love to see people progress as they write. Please do not let this stop you from writing, because I feel like you both have potential with writing. Just put a little more thought into your posts, and think about describing things more often. If you have any comments to my grading, please PM me.
Total Word Count: 7049

Grades:

Space Jawa: Out of a total 4 XP+1xp and $400, you have received:
4XP Claimed and $300 Claimed! Okay Job!

Usar: Out of a total 10 XP+1xp and $1,000, you have received:
7XP Claimed and $400 Claimed! Okay Job!

Please PM me on what you would like to do with your XP. I have already added your money to your profiles!


Grading Finished!
Xx-exer-xX
Posted Image
Seno Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · New Haven · Next Topic »
Locked Topic

Themed by tiptopolive of the ZB Theme Zone
RPG-D RPG-D