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Casual Tobias's Journey
Topic Started: Oct 22 2011, 10:23 PM (861 Views)
Casual Tobias
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In need of a tune-up
Herrera thinking - Lorem Ipsum
Herrera talking - "Lorem Ipsum"
V.F thinking/talking - Lorem Ipsum


Oh, shit yes! Friggin' Unburden didn't go off, oh my fuggin' God, hahaha!

"...hahahaHAHAHAHA-wait. Oh, that's right. It's still ten times stronger than V.F. Augh, pissmas."

At least there's still sand in my goddamn eyes. Oh, wait: that's a bad thing. How about you figure out a way to get me out of here rather than just stand there all aloof and shit.

"Goddamit, V.F, I get it, I'll think, stop starin' at me geez. Alright.. darn it, after two turns you're still having trouble understanding Growth?"

Hey, don't blame me, I'm just trying to keep from going blind. I don't care if I start figuring out the damn move with a rainbow-emitting lightbulb doing a little jig atop my head or maybe even one that was fainter in value than the movie adaptation of "City of Ember". God, that movie could have been so good if everything hadn't been so goddamn blurry.

Taking down that Purrloin may take more than I was hoping I'd need. V.F's Vine Whips were hardly worth a ring home to your friends and family, especially since my childhood friend did not hesitate to kick my ass whenever she damn well pleased n' probs would laugh at me for taking this long to start eaching V.F at all. I don't know how much Growth will turn tides in terms of its ability to up V.F's strength, but I've already put enough investment into it to forget about hopping onto another half-assed idea. Well.. I guess I'd better make the most of what I got.

"Since there's really no point for my Pokemon to be taking the offensive at this point, I'm gonna need you, Nick, to do what you and your Poliwag do best and smite the shit out of that Purrloin with whatever's good. I'll give you some support by having my Nincada Intimidate [x2] Purrloin with its super insecti-sexy. Anyways, good luck to you on that front.

As for you, Vee, we've got to get Growth down pat with great celerity and move the hell on. Now, you've just got to really try hard thinking about this. The muscles in your vines are loosening up and contracting as we speak, a primary catalyst for Growth as it is necessary for you to expend energy in order to gain it back in a more usable fashion. But it's not just your physical energy that gets augmented, but your... um, 'special' energy, as well. That's why I gave you the order to concentrate on building your special attack alongside with your typical, physical know-how.

In order to fully realize Growth, you've got to infuse these two actions together. Pour your concentration of both the physical and the supernatural into an imaginary cauldron where your energy can be stored. When you've begun to flood this cauldron to the edge of the edge of the edge of it's outermost circumference and no longer can it contain the leashed fury of your brew, and you must ruminate this with passionate intent, then open your eyes. After that last round, don't begin by forcing yourself forward. Your teammates will defend you as you take to meditation. Return with your conscience, not riled and rash, but ready and rearing to scald that infuriating pussy with the implacable torrent of your famished frenzy. It's a lot of adjectives to consider, but basically you've just gotta Focus your [ATK] and [SP. ATK]. If you want, you can take the 'spirit journey' thing with a grain of salt, but I think it'd be really helpful in getting closer to our goal of teaching you Growth".


*sniff* I don't know, man, I think that was pretty goddamn beautiful and I'm lucky to have the pleasure of applying it to this learning stuff. Oh, if being taught math were as exciting as harnessing your chakra, mana, n'... n' whatever, I'd be committed far past geometry.

"Somehow, I feel as though your trying to make some sort of social commentary on the current education paradigm that is currently making its way towards being revolutionized, but that's probably just a tingly feeling in my funny bone. Nincada, you got V.F's back, sides, front, and "eureka!" area on lockdown, a'ight? Great, now make like a monk and reach enlightenment, Viff. I'll see ya when you're ready to turn your enlightenment into a big ol' can of whoop-cat, lol."

For those of you reading, yes, he literally said "lol", which I think is sad and pathetic, idk about you.
Edited by Casual Tobias, Apr 11 2012, 04:38 PM.
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This battle is certainly interesting. You've got you, the barefooted wonder, and Nick Wilde who is...well he's something else. And then you've got Little Red Running Shorts, who's just one poorly named Pokemon away from becoming the next chemistry cat meme. Well, seeing as I am rather tired from just waking up and all, I'll keep this short and sweet.

Nincada started things off by Intimidating Vinegar. Well, he tried. Wait...it actually worked? That little s--- of a bug managed to actually managed to scare that cat? Seriously? Well, you learn something new every day, I guess. After having his attack strength lowered, he was a little more wary of attacking. He didn't want to disappoint his master, though. She doesn't look like she deals well with disappointment. "DAMMIT AMMONIA WAKE UP! Vinegar, don't you dare just sit around, hit them with another F---ING Fury Swipes!" The girl didn't really specify which target, so the cat just ran for Viff. Nincada was there to intercept, however, and took the blow. Once...twice...thrice! Three times he was hit! Thankfully his rocky exterior saved him from taking any serious damage.

Vinegar was a little discouraged by this, and because of that fact he didn't notice Neptune. "Okay Nep, show him your stuff. Fire two MIGHTY BURSTS FROM YOUR POWERFUL WATER CANNONS! YOU CONTROL THE OCEANS! YOU SWIM WITH DOLPHINS AND S---!" "WAAAAAAAAGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" This is almost more entertaining than the battle. Neptune shot two Bubble attacks at Vinegar. The damage was negligible, but at least it was something.

During all of this Viff was working on Growth. She listened intently to your lovely description of a spirit journey or a cauldron or something, I didn't really pay attention. The point is, something about it clicked for your Tangela. The mass of vines felt her energy increasing with every passing moment. Of course, this whole process took a little time to do, so that's really where you need to work. Other than the timing issue I think she's just about got it.

Oh yes, and despite all of the commotion Ammonia did not wake up. That fish was sleeping like a baby.

:tangela Growth: 80%

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Herrera thinking - Lorem Ipsum
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Good GOD, nothing's happening. Pfft-shh-zuuugh. I seriously hate wars of attrition, I just want to see something honest-to-God mauled for the sake of my valuable goddamn time. Stupid kitty with its stupid name n' stupid stupid n' stupid murnmmur...

"Guuuuuuuh... so. What to do. Umm. Oh, goody, something insultingly simple popped into my head just now, might as well go with it.

So yeah, Nincada- you do, uh.. you.. I mean.. dammit, you know what, just Stare it down or somethin' I dunno I think that's a move.. dammit, the ennui of this silly slapping contest is infecting my #&^% mind!!

Fine, you know what, this is for all the balls now and Staredown is officially a mutha-cuss-shuckin', mega-ultra-swagulous battle move that you, Nincada, will enact upon this heretic of basic naming conventions which will impose upon it suffering of the eyeballs for the rest of its mutha-cussin' days no, months- YEARS, and make it a yazillion of 'em! "


*nudge nudge*

"...and it will be an era where everyone wears their prized amusement park wristband, disregarding how wet and unwearable they become.."

*nudge... nudgenudgenudgenudgenudgenudgeSLAP, USONUVA-*

"Where purple will be distinguished by its hues of chartreuWTF do you NEED!!"

*blink*

*blink blink*

*blink*

...
...
....


Dammit, you simpleton! *point*


"...Oh, I was trying to forget about that, though...

*Thoroughly miffed*

"So as I was saying, prior to your rude awakening okay, that was most definitely unprofessional okay, ow, dammit that hurts ALRIGHT, YOU JICKWEED HOW 'BOUT YOU USE YOUR NASTY ATTITUDE CURRENTLY USED TO TICK OFF YOUR PARTNER BY KEEPING THAT ATTACK ADRENALINE. Geez .. so yeah, keep your concentration in check for at least one more turn and expend that concentration through two well-versed Vine Whips on that cat-version of a bitch. Doing that should boost your ego a bit, maybe even get you to learn the goddamn move already. Nincada, don't let those two mess up Viff's focus with your body, alright? Give yourself another moment to Harden, if you need to. Alright, you guys got this, most def. Most.. def. Umm...

Yeah, that's all I got. Nick, youuuuuuu keep on doing that ol' hose-in-the-face routine on the other side. I am gonna zone out for just a moment cuz I feel like I goddamn teenager from some place in Minnesota whose taking advantage of his summer by posting a follow-up to his forum-thingy at 4:39 in the morning. And what a feeling."
Edited by Casual Tobias, Jun 10 2012, 04:42 AM.
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You're quite the character, arencha? Well, that personality of yours will get you far in some places, and maybe not so far in others. For one thing, little miss red over there was giving you the "wtf" look as you went on and on and on and on (strangers waiting up and down the boulevard....). Anyway, now that the musical interlude is finished, we can get on with it.

Nincada listened intently to your orders and gave that Purrloin the meanest Staredown he ever received. Of course then he wasn't sure what to do, so he decided another Harden couldn't hurt. Hardening his carapace he raised his defences just a little more. "Come ON Ammonia! Wake up!" Ammonia the Qwilfish did not wake up. "Grrrrrrrrr well then Vinegar use another couple of Scratches on that stupid old bug!" Yes, she actually said grr. Vinegar dashed at Nincada, however due to Nincada's raised defence the attack was fairly weak and only dealt minor damage. Still, the bug was getting weaker.

Of course, this gave Viff enough time to focus on her energy. She focused hard, and felt herself grow not just physically but spiritually. She felt her power increase to new heights. She felt like she could take over the world! In other words she mastered Growth.

:tangela Growth: 100%

She demonstrated her power with a Vine Whip on Vinegar, but couldn't complete a second one since she's already used her three-move-turn this battle, and so the gods of fighting prevented her from moving again. Damn this turn based system! Now, due to the big level difference the damage was negligible, but it's still progress. From out of nowhere Neptune the Poliwag fell from the sky and blasted Vinegar with two strong Bubble attacks. Well, strong is a relative word when dealing with level differences like this, but it was a good attempt.

Looks like this battle could take some time. Perhaps an all-offensive strategy might work for you.


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Herrera thinking - Lorem Ipsum
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"Whoa, friggin' Christ, you finally figured it out (I think)! Hahaha, y'know, just to remind you, I honestly hadn't a cloud of doubt that you'd get your head wrapped around it pat sooner or later, hahaha oh God I am such an awesome trainer."

...you done? Cuz, well, you know.. my ass is kinda whooped from all that one sided sucking. Seriously, we've hardly scraped the fur off of that thing for, like, how long now?

"Alright, alright Viff, I can tell you wanna get going."

Damn right I do. Without me, there wouldn't be any Growth to teach, you self-obsessed martinet. Actually, I don't know what a martinet is, so I'll opt for prick in lieu of it. You self-obsessed prick. Anyways, go on, do that thing you think you have the right to do. I really don't mind being told to put my skin on the line for.. wait a *ucking second, WHY ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS!

"Ah *hit, I wish my Pokemon didn't burst into psychosomatic rage all the goddamn time. Look, we can talk about your problems after this, alright? This right here, right now, is what's important, so save it."

Fine, god, geez.


"Thank you. Anyway, guys, I understand that we're at a bit of an impasse here, what with the cat being a total bitch, oxymoronically, so for now lets just keeping beating the block until it breaks, a'ight?

Like honey in my ears.


"Sweet. Nincada, you're looking a bit pale, and I can understand why but duke it out for just a few more rounds if you can take it. Get one more Harden in and then start springing around menacingly, working up an Intimidate for ol' Violent Violet over there."

Wait, did you just seriously call the cat "Violent Violet"? Do you realize how sickeningly Mother Goosey you sounded right ther-


"Shut up, Vee. Anyways, Nincada, that's what you've got. The best you can, I need you to dodge like a goddamn ninja. That means whatever you do, don't get caught by Purrloin's claws, tail, teeth, whatever. I need you to suppress the Qwilfish whenever it may wake up. Also, if it does wake up this time around, avoid it the best you can, too.

Viff, all you need to do is take advantage of the lowered guard that Nincada rendered the cat with another Vine Whip onslaught [OoC: yes, twice]. Again, if that Qwilfish wakes up, be prepared to weave around the Poison Stings that will undeniably be involved with its little resurrection. I'm not sure where the nearest PokeCenter is at the moment, but lets be careful nonetheless."


Smackity-smack and jackity-jack. Loud and clear, boss man.


"You got it, great. Oh, Nick, if you could keep an eye on the Qwilfish if it wakes up, that'd be great. Shoot another Hypnosis at it if you want, just keep it occupied until we get this cat's body-bag ready. Last thing we need is for one of ours to go belly-up without our consent.
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Well, you've decided to go on the offensive now, good for you. Viff was all ready to go in this little bout, excited to finally kick some fluffy ass. Nincada was less excited since he'd been pretty much a meat shield this whole time, but nonetheless followed your orders with another Harden, burning his defences up one more notch. "Vinegar, just take that bug out once and for all with another two Scratches!" The little cat ran at your buggy boy there, who just managed to Intimidate him at the last second. That saved his little life, because Vinegar's Scratches just barely kept him standing. Nincada opened his eyes and did a little happy dance that he was still around, while Vinegar just stared at him with eyes wider than a fat man's underpants.

Meanwhile, Viff was sneaking around the cat to deliver a double Vine Whip attack. Now, her eyes were still a bit cloudy from the Sand Attack earlier, so her first strike missed just by an inch. However, her second attack was right on the money. The hit was bang on and dealt maximum damage! Well, that's not saying much due to the big level difference, but it's still pretty impressive.

"QWIIIIIIIIIL!!!!" What the hell was that? Oh, Ammonia woke up! "Finally! Use two Poison Stings on that annoying Poliwag!" The fish did as she was told and blasted two poison-coated quills at the epic little Poliwag over yonder. Due to the level difference the attacks were pretty negligible, and Neptune even managed to put her back to sleep after the onslaught. Of course, fate isn't always that kind, for Neptune was poisoned! "You can fight it, Neptune! Push through the venom! USE TWO MORE WATERY MEGA-BLASTS AT THAT CAT OF DOOM!!!!!!!!" Oh hooray, more theatrics. Neptune did a stylish dive roll while he blasted Vinegar with Bubbles. Another little nick was taken out of his health, but boy was this taking a while. Vinegar even looked bored with the small damage being dealt to him. I'm sure you'll get him soon, though. If you combine your strengths then you can take him down. I believe in you!

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Edited by Jsol, Jun 24 2012, 11:37 AM.
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Herrera talking - "Lorem Ipsum"
V.F thinking/projecting thoughts - Lorem Ipsum



"Well Christ, I think I'm just about done fooling around now. Cat just won't friggin' go down, goddammit. My God, how long is this gonna take."


Hopefully, long before you stop jamming your every thought into the atmosphere. That'd be like holiday shopping for all of the holidays throughout the year done all in one day and on a single, compartmentalized website. Seriously, dude, just stop caring about it so much. I'm starving and starting to shrivel.


An eon must have passed since this misinterpretation of a match slugged itself together. For all it's worth, I was holding my guys up pretty well against the voice of chemical compounds for cleaning sh*t. You'd think her approach towards athletic gear to become a walking stoplight would prove to be one helluva brief battle for anyone brave enough to stand near her and take advantage of whooping her butt into next Tuesday with the satisfaction of wringing that ego juice out of her numb skull. It would have been quite the treat had her cat wasn't so hilariously named yet outrageously difficult to trounce.

"Tch, so damned frustrated right now; ALRIGHT, YOU TWO, LISTEN UP! You; yeah, I'm talkin' to you, twinkle-toes. I was planning on tethering you back into the ball so you can get some rest, but, and maybe I shouldn't have told you that but seriously I'll need both of you outside for as long as you can hold. So Nincada, I'm gonna have you stick near Vee this time around and you, Vee, will be bodyguardin' Nin, what with your damn-near spotlessness injury-wise thus far. Nincada, shriek, flail around, and do whatever your buggy spirit demands of you and add that to your next Intimidate that you could probably combine with a nasty-looking Staredown with, again, the cat. Again, keep yourself to Vee outside of that as she goes in for the kill, wont'chu, Vee?"


What else is a damsel to do?


That sounds good enough. Well, enough to keep the wheels turning, at least. Although I couldn't help but think "Isn't there, probably, a much easier and more precise way to go about this?". Nincada was the lightning rod for getting beat up this whole time and, even though he's nearly ran the gamut and back with how much damage he has absorbed, to prolong his appearance on the field is a must for suppressing the other team weak-point-wise. Wait a minute... the Chesto Berry, it's gone. The cat ate it, that's right, I don't have to worry about-

"Wait, actually, let's see how far we can press our luck. V.F, instead of just bashing the cat's skull in, I want you to use Sleep Powder, which shall precede a not so gentle going into that good night. Ha, yeeeeeeah. Well, actually, if Sleep Powder doesn't work the first time, give it a second go round. But if it does... well, Vine Whip, obviously. Vine Whip it good. HA! I am pretty good today."


Ruhe, bitte Mistkafer.
Edited by Casual Tobias, Jun 22 2012, 11:21 AM.
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S you decided to put the cat back to sleep now that the pesky Chesto Berry was gone, eh? Well, good idea. This was getting rather annoying with the high level and the damage and the stupid stupid name. Soon that would all be over. Hopefully. Nincada started everything off with an Intimidate, lowering the cat's attack strength yet one more level, and a mean Staredown. How a tiny bug like that was able to put fear into the heart of a cat so much stronger than he I have no idea. Still, it worked. "Oh come on, Vin! Don't let that bug scare you! Use two Scratches on it!" Vinegar pulled himself together after that strangely frightening onslaught and dashed for the bug. Viff, as per your orders, got in the way and took the hit. It was a pretty tough hit, but your little gal was tougher.

Vinegar was going to use her second Scratch, but her proximity to Viff put her in perfect Sleep Powder range. The cat inhaled the strange powder and promptly fell asleep. Needless to say, Red was furious. "You have got to be KIDDING ME! You too!? GET UP!!!" Try as she might, her yelling did nothing to wake her Pokemon. Except oddly enough it did. That's right, Ammonia was awake again! The Qwilfish wasn't really sure what to do, being asleep this whole time, so she just repeated her previous orders and fired two Poison Stings at Neptune. The Poliwag was caught off guard, but was soon to retaliate. "SHOW HER WHO THE TRUE KING OF THE OCEAN IS!!!!!!!!!!!" I suppose that means a Hypnosis? Because that's what Neptune did. It worked nicely, and Ammonia was fast asleep again.

Viff and Neptune now focused on Vinegar. The cat was snoozing nicely in front of your Tangela partner, so she had primo position to smack him upside the head with a Vine Whip. Of course, level differences are really a bothersome thing. The damage from both the Vine Whip and Neptune's epic Bubble was negligible. Of course, every little chip off a rock is....a little chip. I forgot where I was going with that metaphor. In any case, you're slowly but surely wearing the cat down. A few more rounds and it should FINALLY be down for good.

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Looking back at just how thoroughly harrowing this match had become made the thick of my skull compress inwards and my patience to implode. Talk about really throwing a clock out the window; I had nary a clue if going out to look for an evening meal was appropriate just yet or if I should just settle for a few servings of saltines until the sun and horizon took a few more degrees off its waist. Oh, wait- here's my left wrist.

2:21 PM. Two twenty-one, post-meridian. 1421 hours. Jesus, that's a lot of hours. Nevertheless-

"OM NHOM NHOM NHOM OOH, I LOOOOOVE SALTINES! Aaaaw, yeah, I needed that. Care for a salty-savior of a cracker, Nick?"

Awww, can't I have some?

"Fine jeez here take some."

*Nhom Nhom* ..prick... *Nhom Om Nhom*

"Yeah, I'm pretty sick of how long this pussy's been dragging us out, too. So.. let's get rid of it, fer' Chrissake.

So now we've gotten to the point, that certain juncture where everyone is near dead-beat tired and lifting even a single phalange is hefty request on one's will and soul and shit. Whatever, we've got half of this filibuster of a battle left to sweep under the seats forever more, so get your game faces back on. Get 'em back on, I say!"


And so they did: V.F quarter-heartedly, naturally, and Nincada, being loyal yet understandably too naive, gave a good ol' war-punk sneer. Atta' boy, kid, that's the look that'll getcha places. 'Course, I couldn't keep my foreboding from leaking out both eyes into theirs'. I was restlessly aware that the crumbling parapet that was the damned atrociously christened cat led only to my tired troops taking on an utterly healthy.. well, at the very least, it gave me comfort knowing that our adversary in the prickly piknic fish would not pose as great an obstacle as the first line of defense.

That wall, however, has not been visibly and invariably demolished to my desired level of content just- yet.

"There comes a time in every cats life, especially that of an extremely and irrevocably naughty naughty one, in which they must remove from the disdain of those it has affected the bane they had naively 'dragged' in. In this case, it was shame shame and a gigantic factory churning out douchbaggery by the dime. Return from whence you came.

REPENT, MOTHER!@#$ER!

Nincada, take your sweet, sweet time Leeching the Life out of our dear, dear friend the purple pussy.

Viff?

GUARD.
NINCADA.


Seriously, can't stress this enough; I want to see how much longer I can keep him in the game. After all those Hardens. I just don't want to see the work go to waste. Vine Whip to fend off a spontaneously awake and naturally miffed off cat or Qwilfish, same arrangement after Nincada finishes up and takes a step back and you can whip away all you want. Just make sure you get at least two cracks in there before easing yourself.

Nick- let's see to it that this cat is out of the picture this time around, k? Make our efforts just an iooota bit easier if we can wipe the dust off our hands after this and comfortably say, 'Let's finally chop up some goddamn sushi!".
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Suck the life out the purple pussy? There's so much innuendo in that sentence alone that it is making me giggle - I really don't know where to start in dissecting this little battle of yours.

Oh wait, yes I do.

"Why won't you wake up Vinegar?! Ammonia, get up!!" the girl whined, extremely frustrated at the helplessness of the situation - with no more berries in her fanny pack, she couldn't exactly wake either of them up, so they were sitting ducks at the hands of your onslaught. Vinegar was the first to feel the force of your Pokémon, what with Nincada calmly scuttling over to the sleeping feline - before plunging his mouth onto the Purrloin's neck and sucking for all his might for an extended period of time (OOC: Performed the move twice). It wasn't exactly doing much in the way of helping Nincada survive any further attacks were the girl's Pokémon to awaken - but it was clearly doing a decent amount of damage to the feline. This is possibly how the Dracula mythos started...

Eventually, the insect Pokémon grew bored, scuttling back behind the front line to avoid any friendly fire from the Tangela or Poliwag. Good thing, too - considering what Nick was about to do. "Poliwag! Give them both a double shower of Bubbles!" he ordered to his little Tadpole Pokémon, knowing that there was very little else that was plausible considering how strong the Purrloin was compared to his Poliwag - and it would also help to make a little dent in the Qwilfish's health. No sooner had Nick given his orders, the Tadpole Pokémon pushed forwards, spitting a stream of watery bubbles out of his....nose? I have no idea where the bubbles are coming from to be honest, but who cares? Both Purrloin and Qwilfish made contact with a multitude of the bubbles - though considering the Balloon Pokémon was also a water type, it had very little effect. It was a start though, right?

With both Poliwag and Nincada out of the way, Tangela finally stepped forward, lashing out with an array of vines upon the stronger feline Pokémon - only to see the Purrloin's eyes snap open in sheer pain. He cried a momentary cry, before dropping to the ground defeated. It appears you landed a critical hit upon the sleeping kitty! "Damn you!" the girl yelled, recalling her beaten Purrloin - leaving just a sleeping Qwilfish ripe for the slaughter. Of course, Tangela wasn't going to pass up the opportunity - and lashed out upon the Balloon Pokémon with the same attack. It was definitely not enough to cause the same shriek in pain, but it had done a reasonable amount of damage, leaving whip marks upon his body.

"Come on Ammonia, wake up!" the girl yelled in vain, her knees pressed together as she begged and pleaded with her Balloon Pokémon to awaken. No luck, of course.

Your turn - reckon you can finish this off?


Battle Situation
ALLIESENEMIES
:tangela
Level 7 :male
:hp 29/39
:eng 37%
S-Attack +1
Accuracy -1
:purrloin
Level 12 :male
:hp 0/49
:eng 63%
Fainted
:nincada
Level 5 :male
:hp 3/35
:eng 60%
Defence +5
Accuracy -1
Attack -1
:qwilfish
Level 6 :female
:hp 23/37
:eng 88%
Asleep (20% of awakening)
:poliwag
Level 8 :male
:hp 24/41
:eng 60%
Nick's Pokémon
Poisoned (-3 :hp per round)
Attack -1
Edited by viperk1, Aug 15 2012, 07:44 AM.
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(COLOUR CHANGE~! So will my depressing writing style after this battle is over, sheesh)

"HAHAHAha, well shit! That sure took a lot of unnecessary effort, but it looks as if we might just win this. High five!"

Aw yee-eah. Whose the muth-ah, beat the f*ck-kah.. That's right, 'twas me! Not my birthday, but think it should be; buy me presents, loads of presents; preferably wine grapes, wrapped in sheepskin; Yeah, I'm still pleasantly rapping, 'bout my smacking- down on a, erm.. f*ckface, yeah stupid f*ckface; and that's the end of my song.

"Gorgeous, honey. You slap face like a girl, but like an Olympic water polo contestant rather than a preschool one still understanding the concept of fist plus face equals SUCCESS!

...

Huh, I really do talk like that. Weird."


So now it's down to the sea-porcupine. This episode of Herrera vs. the Riddled Red Running Jerk will hopefully come to an end as soon as Nick and I pop both her pet needle ball and that infuriating ego of hers. Reminds me of my own pretentious jerkiness. Haha, the things you realize..

"Well, then- how about we get started sweeping this little match of ours beneath the shag carpeting of never-ever-remember-again. Nincada, give 'em the ol' Staredown. And, well, since there's not much in the way of practicality after that, just Leech Life for your entertainment.

Viff- well, if you haven't already found your favorite past-time in smacking fools upside and sideways to be automatic yet, I demand you to Vine Whip twice. Heh, not like you're not gonna be able to spark up the motivation.

Never crossed me mind, mate. Thanks for reminding me of such wonderful memories, cackle cackle snort.

Hehehe, uh, alright then? Anyways, feel free to jump in whenever, Nick. This might be the last round of attacks before we serve a full course of just desserts to the girl and, well, I know how much that sand must have irritated your eyes when that cat got up the gall to actually proceed with such an unspeakable deed. Do whatever you need to let it out, buddy, I'll treat'cha to some smoothies after all is said n' done, a'ight?"



And the lightning bolt of realization struck down my entirety's grand meridian. A city beckoned to my right, a sea and its shore to be abandoned by me for tentative priorities in said city to my left, and a bewildered little me trying to reconfigure as to where I was and towards where I wished to be. This battle, though totally intentional, caught my momentum elsewhere off-guard; or did it?

To be sure, I rifled through my mind's receptacle for any life in the lobes that dealt with symbolism and discipline, if there was a single sector whose descriptor was such. Oh yeah, that's right.

Accomplish something big that's barefoot related.

Wait, wasn't this battle instigated by something along those exact lines?

...

Huh, I don't recall- Oh SHI-!


"Huh, nearly slipped my mind! Girl, your kicks are late times the 80's. Tell me where you got 'em so I can lay the smackdown on the fools who would even consider consigning those rubber shits."


Aw yeah, ending this slizzer by dissing post-mature preteens. My divinity will no doubt be sought after in the years to come, hahaha!
Edited by Casual Tobias, Aug 23 2012, 09:28 PM.
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Alternia's Old Man
. : Millenia Town
. : Beech
. : Sunny


So, I thought about dragging the battle out a little longer. You know, since its been ALMOST A YEAR NOW! But, I'm not a cruel jerk (most of the time.) So, let's see about getting you a normal ref, or as close as we can given you and your pokemon's relationship. Ready? Steady? Here we go!

The sun pounded down on your forehead and face. This much time in the sun probably wasn't good for you. At the very least, you'd probably get a slight sunburn. Who knew what those deadly uv rays were doing, right? At least VF would probably like the weather. Sunlight's important to plant growth and health. 

Speaking of VF, he was the first to go! The bundled mass of... seaweed? Kelp? Uh, well, whatever he was, he ran forward. One of his blue-green psuedopods dragged behind him, until he neared the sleeping fish. Then with a quarter turn of his body, the appendage sliced through the air. VF jerked back, and -CRACK!- Quilfish had a new red and purple stripe across his flank! 

"Neptune! The heavens speak to us! Now is your time to show your diversity, use Strike twice!" Nick was a bit... over dramatic, wasn't he? Despite the melodrama, or madness perhaps, Neptune listened to his orders. He waddled in, and slapped that fish with his tail. -SLAP!- This was different, wasn't it? Nick must have finally realized that water attacks used against a water Pokemon doesn't do much good. Good thing all Pokemon can use the Global Attack List.

Now it was Nincada's go. That little bug hunkered down and made an ugly little face at the sleeping fish. Somehow, the sleeping Quilfish suffered the attack, despite being Asleep. Your bug took the opportunity to Leech Life from the snoozing fish. It wasn't much, but it was something.

Quilfish shuddered, then started snoring. Yep, still out of it. The red-runner stomper her foot in frustration. It didn't do any good, and VF and Neptune managed to time their attacks in unison, crushing the fish between them!

And suddenly, before you got an anniversary card for this fight, IT WAS OVER!!! Thank Arcius, IT WAS OVER!!! Red-Runner beamed her Pokemon back to herself, gave you a sneer and a rude hand gesture before she took off. Nick recalled Neptune, and wished you luck; "Today we struck fear into the hearts of the nonbelievers friend. Now Neptune and I must go forth, and continue spreading our message. I shall heed your message as well!"

Then Nick pulled his shoes off and dropped them to the ground, before walking away. Sure, he moved gingerly, occasionally having to wipe gavel off a foot. Nick was a bit weird, and now without shoes, people would probably think he was a crazy homeless dude.  Oh well, that was that. Time to move on!  

EXP and stuff
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The mark of victory has now been vacuum-sealed onto the pelvis of Sir Herrera "Tantakleeze" Thompson, and now to forget everything that just happened because everyone seemed to have flown the scene and life is better off without the exorbitance of human interaction anyways.

"No, Nick! Aw, come back here and have a meaningful post-match conversation with me, dammit! Oh, woe is me; will I forever be a simply lonely fish in the sea?

Oh yeah, Vee, aren't you a girl?"


Flippin' better be. If I had been a guy this entire time, well, I really don't know how to wrap that thought up threateningly- so go ahead and say whatever you were going to say, meat feces.


"Yeah, that's what I thought too, hmm ..so why did my subconscious suddenly start throwing around such an idea? I don't think I've been invoking any rules of the interwebs as of recent. Oh well. Anyways, so we smacked pre-teen ass un-statutorily, so what? Still got a long ways to get my barefoot idea to kindle since I still haven't the slightest where I'll start. Maybe I'll just saunter about until something snatches my fancy up by the britches. Later, girly, and don't forget to steal your parent's wallet so you can get some replacements for those sorry-ass excuses for natural motion running shoes.

Oh, and I suggest giving a new colorway for your wardrobe shutters a chance. Maybe toilet scrubber cyan to fit your farcical theme, I dunno. Have your godforsaken life cleaned up by the time I see your new outfit, okay darling? Hahahaha alright, you take care now."


And that, comrades, is the end of the first chapter of-


THE ADVENTURES OF VELOUR-CLAD/DOOR-BOARDER HERRERA THOMPSON!!

"It's nice to have time to myself. Now I can exploit my Pokemon and their talents. Come on out, Zigzagoon I've never met before but somehow managed to scurry into one of my assortment of balls!"

I knew there was something oddly peculiar about having "captured" a Pokemon you had never seen before tucked beneath your maroon Armourdillo leather belt with a black buckle that held two keeps among other niceties that I would have rather delved into in lieu of the boring history affixed to the Zigzagoon.

"Why hel-lo there, you ah-dowh-wah-buhl lih-uhl fella, yee-hee-hee-hee!"

Needless to say, there seemed to be some jealousy in the air that day. A whole lotta love, as Plant had once chanted, for the cutest goddamn pocket-pet kismet, and probably nothing short of money, life could round up for me, yes, but jealousy was stankin' up the place pretty. Bad.

I may not know you, kid, but you doin' a helluva fine job keeping that synaptic mind-sore busy while I let myself be enveloped in the esteemed things in life. That is, well, that guy not suffocating me with his stupid, like he is you now.

Zig zag! Zigoon zag zig!

Um, pardon?

Zig zig, pbhtoo, HELP ME OUT; ARMS LIKE.. urp, VICE.. geh, VIcegrip..

Oh, geez.. oh, GEEZ! Herrera, get your oily tentacles off'a her!


"Mmm-hm-hm-hmm, such fluffy fur- wha? Wait a min-, hey, stop it, Vee, what are you doing?! Okay, oky, I get it, you're jealous.."

You were in the process of Pokecide, you intractable Primeape!

"..but what am I going to do? You never seem to have shown affection for me outside of when I'm serving your meals. I dunno, girl, maybe you're just tired. Here, how about you and Nincada take a break. You guys fought the good fight, so fend of the fatigue well. See ya guys soon."

What? But I- oh, what the hell, I'm pretty damn tired. Beam me up, Thompson. *zoop*

"*sigh* She'd better had settle down after I run these errands. Christ, how am I ever gonna be able to rein her in?

Anyways, sorry for my instantaneous smittening, little Ziggy. Do you happen to have any Stardust? No? Haha, don't worry, just a little music joke. Anyways, like I said, I checked the gear map and it says there's a Pokemart and, more importantly, a Vehicle Shop where I can probably get an Acro Bike. It's been a while since I've kicked some tricks, if that's what they even call it, and I'd like to see what I can get my hands on there. Some provision plucking at the mart will come straight thereafter. I hear you're good at seeking out goods pounding out the ground. You think you can straddle the streets with me until I'm finished with my itinerary?"


Well, after that stint of yours where my neck almost popped in two due to your aggressive expression of tender loving warmth, I'm torn! Let's get this show on the road, then.

"Aww, why don't you stop being the most charming thing on the whole damn planet, dammit! Okay, let me introduce you to the walking mess of me: I'm Herrera, or Hairy-Harry, if I can imagine you calling me that in a little-brotherly voice. You mind that all? And instead of continuing to refer to you as 'you', I went back to the 'Ziggy Stardust' reference and decided to give you the honor of, from now on, exalted as the great you ready for this? 'Ace Ziggity'! Haha, I swear I tried my best not to pull that on out of my ass."

And I'm grateful. Super-duper grateful. *sigh*

Huh, I sure liked the name. That canvas face ridden with consternation, though.. wow, maybe 'Ace Ziggity' just isn't the right name for a lady, even if they're a cute Pokemon befitting such a, uh, well.. two-sided name. Huh.

"Alright alright alright. Sheez, here, maybe it's better to have you be named after something that'll stand against your growth into an adult. Actually, that only applies to humans since we seem to put more stress when it comes to minutiae in the nook and crannies of our traits and idiosyncrasies. Aye, too big of a word.

Back to business. I'll name you after an idol of mine, Allison Mosshart, or by her stage name, VV. Then again, there's a good chance I'll confuse you with Vee, the Tangela you met earlier. Hmm.. eh, whatever. It'll be like having of Wuthering Heights in my life, without all that histrionic hubbub. That sound better to you?"


By Mew, you sure take your sweet time talking to the breeze. I'm fine with VV, yes, now may we move on?

And then we finally took off. A new friend by my side, albeit not a human but it surely was all good. Coming here to the island of Alternia, my plans had been thwarted by a relentless case of wanderlust, a magnetic pull that urged me to see, hear, and reap as much of both the atmosphere and the engaging imponderable as I could, for what could be a journey that bounds distances can also misstep wherever a lack of levity burgeons and deprives. Spreading the word of barefooting, selling it as the bountiful husk following uncertain ages of slowing winnowing, is what I plan to do quietly as unshod as I am for my mind seeks more plain and pleasant things. First and foremost, a trick bike, so that I can wow the street-goers and idlers my skillful trade sole-less while poppin' wheelies wherever, but mostly amok. Yeah, it's been a painfully painful while since I've been so deft-demonstratively careless. Ah, have I not regaled to you my stories on the streets of Azalea?

Well, no need. I know I've broken something in that noggin of yours, so why don't we get to the Cycle Store, Pokecenter, and Pokemart in record time or something. Or visit each one individually, I dunno how to properly intermit, here, so go ahead God of doing whatever you do; shut me up!

By the way, here's a copy of my shopping list:


grocery farming


[OOC: So yeah, the PokeCenter first to get my party healed quickly, no fluff in between. If possible, have this done with the Pokemart (With the shopping list provided above), as well, and head straight to the Vehicle Shop thereafter. If this can't be done, just have my character head straight to the Vehicle shop after the Pokecenter visit. If I missed something and the visit to the Pokemon Center has to be played out, then I sure as hell can't argue.

+Start pick-up count for Zigzagoon accordingly
+Also, could the next mod change my Zigzagoon's name to "VV"? Not sure if I'm permitted to do so myself, so I might as well ask]
Edited by Casual Tobias, Aug 29 2012, 11:52 PM.
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Might want to change the colour of VV's text - it's making my eyes hurt against the dark background. Also, a key as to what is what wouldn't go amiss, thanks.

Millenia Town
Town Centre
Sunny
Pickup (VV)~1/5


-blinks-

My eyes have finished bleeding, thank you very much for asking.

Now that your Tangela has stopped trying to strangle your Zigzagoon and you've deliberated over what name you would give your little furball of a Pokémon, we can finally move on to your next steps following that titanic battle...against a girl...who named her Pokémon Vinegar and Ammonia...-shudder- Alright, I'll stop faffing about now.

With your Pokémon by your side, you strolled confidently into Pokémon Centre within the Town Centre, allowing the nurses to work their magic upon your wounded little critters. Thankfully, it didn't take all that long - you were in and out of the place within minutes. Quite what the nurses made of you just wandering up, shoving Pokéballs into their laps and wandering off again once your Pokémon were healed (without saying a single word, I might add), is something that you probably neither know about nor care about enough to warrant any further mention than that.

Moving on, you and your Pokémon partners walked across to the building next door to the Pokémon Centre - after all, the PokéMart was always next to the Pokémon Centre in the Towns and Cities of the world. The blue roof and the rotating sign outside it were always the giveaway that you were in the right place. With that in mind, your journey took you inside the blue-topped building, where you immediately took a basket from the doorway. Picking up the items from your shopping list, you soon found yourself in front of the counter. Good job you have a decent amount of money under your belt - otherwise the $460 you paid to the PokéMart for your goods would have left you turning tricks on the street corner just to get some more.

With all of your dealings at the PokéMart complete, you made the rather longer trip over to the Vehicle Shop. It wasn't quite out of the Town Centre, but it was getting far closer to the outskirts and towards Route 5 and the Joukai Pass than you had been before. "Welcome to the Vehicle Shop! How can I help you today?" the store owner cheerfully stated, welcoming you into his store.

You wanted to be here - so what would you like?
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Casual Tobias
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Narration - "Lorem Ipsum"
"Lorem Ipsum" - Herrera speaking
V.V [thoughts] - Lorem Ipsum

^[Look who's talking!]


"Well, I'm looking for something that goes fast, but not one of those professional-looking bikes that look as though they come with a skin-tight racing suit splotched all over with random patchwork. No, as long as it doesn't look like one of those kinds of bikes. What do you mean 'uncouth', I have plenty of couth! Fine, would you rather I take my business elsewhere? Well, duh, I plenty know you're the only cycling shop around these parts which is kinda ridiculous, if you ask me but..."

And my mouth would run for hours and hours, drowning this poor sap in Herrera's homemade-to-order rhetoric. Ask my friends from where my means of digression got made, they can corroborate the presence of an illness that may not be all my own. No one is exempt and no one is impervious to the lurid fury of my impertinent thaumaturgy of the mouth!

Of!


"And stop furrowing your eyebrows like that, you'll end up knitting a visor over your eyes while you're in a hurry and what then, hmm? Anyways, back to the filters I'd like to lay out..

Oh. Really? Not even a name brand one? Well then, how do the bike companies that manufacture these bikes then consign them to you expect me to know if their product is reliable or not? Just because there are supernatural beings running both amok and under the supervision of persons ranging from the age of eight to eleventy-jukajillion out there, doesn't necessarily mean transportation comes any easier or less hazardous, for that matter. Friggin' forests, man, you've been in them, right?

You know what, look, just point me at the best-operating bike you have in stock right now. No, not the motorcycle; anything else?"


And as luck would have it, there was something. Well, not luck, just a Zigzagoon whose patience had frayed off and wandered off to sniff off the scent of new tire smell. Next to her nose as my eyes sliced through the lines of cookie-cutter merchandise was the sturdiest sucker in goosestep: that thing!


*Sniff sniff sniffing around*

...hmm?


"Perfect size, perfect number of gears and, whoa, it folds! Oh, shut up, I didn't know the bike economy is based solely around the collapsible bike. Seems like an unwieldy design, anyways, besides for its functionality. So, how much will it be? It had better fit the content of my wallet."


As soon as this dude got me set up with me brand new wheels, my new plans of exploring the entirety of this here island playground will commence, starting with a quick enterprise through the thickety-thin of what seems to be the island's central spine. The routes whose juncture is that of the Joukai Pass, that is. Getting as much sightseeing and journal-entry jotting in as little time as possible is what I plan to do as the biography that I plan to release in tandem with my groundbreaking new line of natural motion running shoes unfolds.

Oh, and the philosophy that will act as the culmination of my travels, of course. People prefer to know the there's a drive behind the creation of something fresh and novel, after all. It sure helps them make a decision when torn between a no-name bicycle and one whose company has accompanied a history of victories on and off the road.

Like a "Vistory". Yeah, I should keep that name in mind once I get this whole travel-abroad thing down. Wait a second..


"Hey, V.V, c'mere. Alright, just sit yourself down like thaaaat. Try not to fall, aaaaand there!

...

OH MY GOD, IT'S SO PRECIOUS!! This picture of you riding a skateboard will evolve into something amazing someday, I swear. For now, it'll accrue a couple of chuckles from mom and dad. Oh, I'll introduce you guys sometime in the future, no worries."


[Purchasing the 4-Speed bike for $250]
Edited by Casual Tobias, Sep 3 2012, 01:55 PM.
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