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Vincent Kudo
Topic Started: May 5 2009, 11:21 PM (159 Views)
Elliot

Character Template

Name: Vincent Kudo
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Profession*: Pokemon Doctor-in training/Crafting/Basic

Appearance: -No dragon cosplay-
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History: When he was just a baby, he was abandoned at a foster home. When he was 4, an old Pokemon Doctor and his wife adopted him, though they thought he was a girl at first they were glad he was now their child. Hoshino, the Doctor, also had a hobby of crafting, and he often had Vincent with him while he made little small statues, jewelry, and sometimes just carvings. He also taught Vincent many things about pokemon and about crafting things.

Still, Vincent couldn't get attached to anything. He was distant, even to his new parents. When Hoshino died he was 14, and his wife had ignored Vincent, becoming depressed. Vincent became independent, though he deeply missed Hoshino. Vincent cared for him and Shi, the wife, until he was given a chance at age 19. Shi's friend was retiring, and offered to take care of Shi so that Vincent could follow his dreams and go on his own journey.
Personality*: He's quiet and calm. Though he's smart, he's kind of....oblivious to things, like a blond despite having purple hair. He also is a complete gentleman, and, without realizing it, can be a natural flirt. He loves steel and fighting pokemon. Though he likes water, fire, and grass next, he hates most poison pokemon. Vincent also is known for his 'smile of doom' which seems kind, but he often says cold things. He also takes it personal to be called a girl (which he gets a lot), and shows his anger by giving them his 'smile of doom' and ignores them afterward.

Starting Pokemon: :skarmory :female
Nickname*: Tsubame
Differences*: The horn on the head is gone.

Starting Town: Nogou Village
Poketech Color: :techpurple -purple
Other:
Edited by Elliot, May 10 2009, 03:32 PM.
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Elliot

Um. Just saying I'm done? I had it done for a bit, but I don't think anyone noticed, so....I just wanted to point it out.
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Roses are Red
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Handicapped Trainer
I am sorry but I cannot accept this registration because of this isse:

- Grammar errors

You have a number of oddly formatted sentences that could be written to be easier on the eyes. For example:

Vincent only became independent, though he deeply missed Hoshino.

The word 'only' is in an odd place. Actually, it could be left out entirely.

This sentence also throws me off:

About 3 years past, making him about 4 years old, a old Pokemon Doctor and his wife adopted him, though they thought he was a boy at first.

...but he is a boy...and you could just say 'When he was four, an old Pokemon doctor and his wife adopted him...'

If you could fix these and post back when you're done, that would be great. Thanks!
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The cry before | The lull during | The silence after


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Roku Hannya
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Nyancat Awaaaay!
I'd also like to add your profession list is long..
Edited by Roku Hannya, May 9 2009, 07:21 PM.
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Buy one of Roku's Poke Collars today!
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Elliot

Is that better?
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Crimson
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Yes, you fixed your grammatical errors so you are....


ACCEPTED!
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Pokémon Moon RPG is a text-based Pokémon game that has recently been created and needs more activity and members. Registering will also help me recieve some referral points.
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