| A free land | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 2 2008, 09:01 AM (86 Views) | |
| The Savage | Feb 2 2008, 09:01 AM Post #1 |
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A free land From sand to sand To quench a killers lust Worthy of a bust An addicts dream Nothing's as it seems But what is this land? Not merely sand But a place A place of simple disgrace Tainted by every face |
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| Lucie | Feb 4 2008, 10:40 AM Post #2 |
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Great poem there are just two things that I think are a little off on it. 1. A place of simple disgrace Try leaving out A place since you already have it in the line before. 2. It has an uneven number of lines. |
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