The 'WTFentures' of Cheese Toast Man

The 'WTFentures' of Cheese Toast Man
Topic Started: Feb 23 2008, 09:03 PM (153 Views)
river	Feb 23 2008, 09:03 PM Post #1
Posts: 18 Group: Members Member #4 Joined: Feb 7, 2008	Cheese Toast Man and The Sequel Thingy! Our hero, Cheese Toast Man was not always made of cheesetoast. There are many stories of his delicious origin, but the most widely accepted is that he fell into a vat of radioactive cheesetoast. It is probably the most accurate as well. He later received superpowers. CTM was flying down Mozzarella ave., when he saw “Sir Wilfred Q. W. Z. Schnitzelberg Cheddar memorial Cinema”, and he was in luck! The sequel to his favorite movie, John Smith 0012: Generic Spy Adventure was out! John Smith meets Sex Pun, his female sidekick in a somewhat- adrenaline filled movie, that received average reviews. The sequel, “Generic Spy Movie Sequel which takes place after the Cliffhanger at the End of the first film!” was awaiting his viewing. CTM discovered that he had $9.95 + Applicable taxes in his pocket! What was he waiting for? Probably me to get on with the story. He entered the theater. “Gah!” He exclaimed. “This movie blows donkey balls!” His face showed a reasonable amount of disgust for someone who had just lost $9.95 plus applicable taxes. “Sequels are always worse than the original, despite the greater anticipation!” he fumed. He was enraged, and flew to Hollywood, to meet the director, William Q. Farzelangan. Cheese toast Man crashed through the ceiling of Willy’s Evil Lair (tm pending) and demanded vengeance. “I DEMAND VENGEANCE” He yelled. Willy looked at him through very evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil eyes. Also, they were red. And evil. Veeeery evil. “Shut the hell up!” said Willy to the narrator. “That’s annoying!” “Evil” Said the evil, evil, evil narrator. “ENOUGH” shouted CTM. He KO’D the Narrator, which made it all quiet for a while. And that was how Cheese Toast Man Defeated Willy, the evil, evil, evil - Gack! Stay back with that Grenade Launcher, for the love of God, stay back! AUGHHHHH! THE END “Hey!” Said CTM, “That’s not how it happened!” “Yeah!” said evil, evil, evil, evil, Willy. “And stop that!” “Make me!” Said the narrator. CTM and Willy joined forces to battle the narrator of EVIL EVIL. “SHUT UP!” they said in unison. A battle of the Gods ensued. the narrator wrote evil things. Things so evilly evil, that they cannot be mentioned here unless you are over 18 years of age and are a registered member of 4chan Gold. Let’s continue, shall we, underage readers? Willy, being a lawyer in his spare time, knew all sorts of Satanic arts, so he drew a pentagram on the floor with the blood of an aborted fetus. Satan rose from the inferno... “WHO DARES SUMMON SATAN!” He demanded. He looked over at Willy. “whoa, Willy? Is that you? I haven’t seen you since law school! How ya been, you evil bastard you!” “Doing fine, enjoying my money...” he replied “ but remember that favor you owed me?” Satan nodded, thinking back “The one where I should incinerate any narrator using third person to refer to himself and using the word evil over 30 times in under 9000 words?” Willy nodded. “Take a look here!” Willy showed Satan this story. Satan read it and nodded. He sighed. “Well I guess we should just get this over with. um.. Sometimes there are burn marks on the rug, don’t mind those, okay? They wash right off with a little Tide.” The narrator was worried. And I should know. “Wait! He pleaded. “CTM, you believe me don’t you? I CAN CHANGE!” “Too late!” Laughed Satan. If you could change, you’d have edited this post ages ago! I will now incinerate you! Any last words, bitch?” The narrator wet his pants. Suddenly, Satan’s watch beeped. “Oh dear,” he muttered “ A lawyers’ convention is about to explode, I must be in Hell to greet them. Well I must be off.” He looked over at the narrator... “Consider your ass saved, you’re lucky you can write things in whenever you want.” He melted back into the inferno. “HEY!” shouted some lawyers. “No more lawyer jokes!” “...anyway, where were we, I kinda lost track around the word ‘evil’” Said CTM Willy looked confused. “No clue. hey, how about I let you direct the next John Smith movie? Cheese Toast Man Agreed, and thus, “John Smith 3: The evil Russian Stereotypes” was born. However, things weren’t sitting too well with the narrator. He was pissed at those pricks for ruining his evil story. So he began to write... something evil. Wanna know what it was? Huh? Do ya? Do ya? WELL TOO BAD PUNK! You have to wait like everyone else, cause you sure ain’t special... wait for... A SEQUEL! Coming Soon! Maybe! If we’re not cancelled! Or on strike! Or dead! this is not copywritten, but if you reproduce this without the authors permission, I will send out my manservant, Hans, to forcibly rape your behind. LET THAT BE A WARNING.
Posts: 18 Group: Members Member #4 Joined: Feb 7, 2008


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