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Sarin Jadoku; The walking wasteland
Topic Started: Oct 14 2011, 02:16 AM (720 Views)
Atragon
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Kevin Keyne
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When making the thread for your character, please make sure that it has both the [Character Name] and their [Type] for easy reference

Character Name: Sarin Jadoku
Nickname: the walking wasteland, contaminator, toxin, dark blade of poison


Age:17

Gender: Male

Type: Weapon

Partnered? no

Image:~

Clothing and description: from a distance, Sarin would appear to be a somewhat thin boy of nondescript, Asian heritage. on closer inspection, he has a very un-natural effect to his appearance, his skin pulses with toxins and turns from its normal dark tan to pale very easily, his hair is just above medium length, and normally covers his eyes, when they are visible, they are a striking, bright green. His strait, rather stringy hair is mostly black, with a gradient shift to green near the tips, possibly due to more concentrated toxins in the tips of his hair strands. His hair is longer in the back than in the front, reaching the back of his neck his usual mode of dress is a plain black T shirt with sweat pants, no-matter what the weather. He apparently always wears a white shirt, but the toxins in his skin turn it black. He also wares tennis shoes, red and black gloves, and occasionally sun glasses, that farther hide his eyes.

In weapon form, Sarin appears as a long, curved, cavalry saber. The blade of the sword is pitch black, and constantly emitting a smoke like vapor, which is difficult to breath. The blade is actually made of solid venom, with a high enough freezing/solidifying point that it remains as hard as steel. The smoke is the result of the top layer of venom constantly evaporating in small amounts.

Soul Appearance: his soul constantly has a zigzagged frown, a sickly green glow, and spikes, due to his inability to get close to people, weighted against his wanting to make friends.


History: somewhere off the coast of South Korea, there is a small island, still spoken of in ghost stories to this day. Legendary for the sheer amount of toxic substances that exist on its spoiled sands, it is a wonder that anything is able to live on the island at all, but surprisingly enough, there are native humans that thrive on the island of Venom. The humans living there have developed a natural immunity to the islands toxic nature, over many generations, and have in-fact absorbed some of the islands toxicity. In one particular village on the island, the village has always come from a family of weapons, that is, until the current chief was born.

Though his soul is strong, this chief was born without the ability to become a weapon, a fact that brought great shame to his family. Instead, he trained himself in other methods of fighting, and became a shaman instead. To regain his families respect, the chief became the hero of his island, facing many a grand adventure (none of which will be discussed here) And eventually marrying a sacrificial priestess that he had rescued from another part of the island.

17 years ago, she bore him a son, a son that, despite his father, had regained the family lines power of becoming a weapon. As he grew, the boy found that his natural transformation had combine with his natural toxicity, making him a living poison weapon. For his younger life, Sarin lived in peace on the island. Although trapped in a 1950s view of the Hawaiian Islands life, due to the outside worlds reluctance to trade with them, the Islands quaint way of life was where Sarin felt at home.

When he came of age, the boy, named Sarin, was sent to Shibusen to become a death scythe. Soon after waving goodby to his family and arriving at Shibusen, Sarin discovered that despite all his islands dangers, the outside world was even less hospitable.

Unlike living on the island, Sarin is the only toxic thing on the mainland, leading to just about everyone avoiding him. When first entering Shibusen, students avoided him as if he were radioactive. Several faculty members attempted to avoid him (asside from a strange looking man in a lab coat, who mentioned using him as a living chemical dispenser) and upon his official registration into the school, even Shinagami had changed his skull mask to a white gas mask shape.

Sarins first several weeks at Shibusen were rough. He ruined every book given to him, left his seat in class looking like someone had dumped a bucket of ink over it, and generally was an accidental head ache for the staff. His relationship with other students has been relatively non existent, as no one is brave enough to approach him. Even the bullies are too scared to beat him up. Due to his inability to find a partner, Sarin has not yet been on a mission, leaving him with only classroom experiance, and almost no combat training.

Though Sarin means no harm, his body constantly outputs poison, the air around him feels thick and stale, flowers die in his presence, animals refuse to get near him, and even his touch gradually corrodes materials, turning fabric and paint black, slowly rusting metal, and making living beings feel sick. Sarin has only ever wanted to make friends and enjoy life like any of the other students, but his toxic nature constantly drives others away, leaving the poisonous weapon alone and miserable



Personality: Sarin is a very unfortunate boy, despite having a calm, and relaxed demeanor, and being friendly and kind, his natural toxicity leaves him unable to make friends with the other students at Shibusen. This usually leaves him sad if not miserable. at any given time, the visible portion of his face is usually dominated by either a gentle smile, or an exaggerated, zigzagged frown, depending on his mood. When he speaks, he has a low, creepy voice, described as something out of a nightmare, which adds to his un-approachability. Fitting with his theme of poison, Sarin is usually calm and slow acting, preferring to take his time in doing anything. His greatest wish, however, is to be able to make friends, and hang out with the normal students.


Technique Name:
Effects/Description:

Abilities:

Technique Name:poison imunity
Effects/Description:has a near universal immunity to poisons and venom's of all kinds. Any poisonous attack, be it to paralyze or kill, will have no effect on him.

Technique Name: natural toxicity
Effects/Description:if Sarin is cut, his blood has corrosive properties similar to a low PH acid, due to contact with the toxins it contains, it will cause minor, but painful skin burns. Due to the toxins in his skin, touching Sarin results in fabrics and paint being stained black and gradually corrodes and rusts metals.


Technique Name: Toxic aura
Effects/Description:the poison energy radiating from Sarin forms a toxic aura. The air within around a 2-3 foot radius around him feels thick and stale, plants will wilt and die within a matter of minutes, animals will avoid the radius entirely. Any living subject who enters the radius will almost instantly feel dizzy and weakened, extended time in the aura will result in a feeling of sickness. Exiting the aura causes an almost immediate reversal of the effects.

Technique Name: Weapon transformation
Effects/Description: Sarin can transform into a cavalry saber, the saber has poisonous properties, and will infect anyone it cuts with a slow acting venom that will weaken the opponent over time and repeated doses. a single dose of the venom (three cuts or one large slash) will cause dizzying and disorientation. Continued doses of the venom will increase effects, leading to flue like symptoms and mild joint stiffness. Unlike the toxic aura, the venom remains in an opponents system for several minutes, prolonging the effect, though in stronger opponents, the effective corse of the venom is reduced significantly.


Combat Style: Sarins strengths lie in his ability to poison and weaken the enemy. As such he is at his strongest when working with other weapon and meister teams. His actual attack skills are very weak, and almost all of his abilities are debuffs. When fighting alone, Sarin is best used as a stealth weapon, meant to infect the opponent with his poison, then back off and let the toxins do their work to weaken the enemy over time.

Miscellaneous Information: Sarin is constantly dower over his inability to make friends or get close to people. He tends to spend most of his time alone, reading, or working with his own toxins to better understand them. He tends to seem anemic, and has very low stamina and strength, he also sometimes falls asleep in class, or even while standing up. To actually wield Sarin, the meister would require a great deal of inner strength. either a strong enough soul to withstand his poisons, or a strong enough body to compensate for the effects. An imunity to Sarins poison can be gained by spending a great deal of time together consecutively (such as training together) However difficult this may be on either party. Alternatively, Sarin could be wielded by a meister that is immune to poison (however rare that may be.)

Strengths:
  • )
  • Poison
  • debilitating aura
  • poison imunity

Weaknesses:

  • difficult to wield
  • low strength and stamina
  • weak attack stats


Roleplay Sample: see Kevin Keyne http://s1.zetaboards.com/42_42_564/topic/3401359/
Edited by Atragon, Oct 24 2011, 11:59 PM.
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Shinigami
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Welcome back Atragon~

You've made an excellent start, and with a few changes this could be an excellent addition!

Format: This isn't the most important thing in the world, but if it is not too much trouble could you change it to the normal format? The template can be found here: [link]

Powers: I really like the idea you have, but I think for a brand new character he might have a few too many ^_^ As such, could you please remove Toxic Aura, Viscious Corruption, Toxic shock and DeathBreath? He could learn them later (from training threads), but we are just making sure he doesn't have an unfair amount compared to other people to start with.

That should leave him with smoking weapon form, toxic touch and weapon form :3

Could you please also add partial & full transformation? (if he can do either of them).
Edited by Shinigami, Oct 15 2011, 02:13 AM.
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Atragon
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Kevin Keyne
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Alright, I think I got everything. I also added more detail to his fighting style.
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Shinigami
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Thanks for the edits Atragon ^_^

History:
You've given us a nice shapshot of his island, but at the moment Sarin's history (as a person) seems a little lacking. All I know abou Sarin is that he was born and turned into a weapon!

Could you please tell us a little more about Sarin? What event in his life made him who he is? Perhaps you could tell us when he learned of his ablities, and how he first felt when he found out animals (away his island) are scared of him.

Could you also please make sure that his history matches his abilities? ^_^

Personaliy:
Good job!

Abilities:
I noticed that you removed all of his abilities @__@ As a reminder only abilities that are listed in this section he can use. So because "toxic touch" is not listed anymore that means he cannot currently use it.

Could you make sure that his ability list reflects what abilities you would like him to have?

Overall:
I really like this character- the idea of a 'debuff' character who is intended to support is great. I think that it is great that he is not an awesome fighter, but in a group he would make an excellent addition. I look forward to polishing up this character with you!
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Atragon
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Kevin Keyne
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Ok, I changed those. How does it look now?
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Shinigami
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Thanks Atra ^_^

History:
:3 Nice improvements so far~ Could you tell us more about his life at Shibusen? eg: How long has he been there? Has he gone on any missions, eaten any kishin eggs, made any friends or has anything exciting happened?

Abilities:
I noticed that at the start of this section you have about 4 abilities listed. Could you put each individual technique / unusual thing as a separate ability? When you do this, could you use the "technique name" / "effects/description" form? ^___^ It just makes things a lot easier to understand all of his nuances.
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Atragon
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Kevin Keyne
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Ok, how about now?
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Shinigami
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Sorry for the late reply! @__@

History:
Could you please press [enter] a few times through it to help break up the flow? It can help segment the different sections of his life and highlight changes :3

Could you also perhaps go into just a wee bit more detail about Sarin's life on the island? :3 eg: Did he learn martial arts? Did he go to school, or is he a 'stupid' (in a book sense) wildman who was brought up like tarzan or a caveman?

Ability:
Thanks for splitting everything up!

Toxic Aura: How wide is this aura? 1 inch? 1 foot? 1 mile? :3 How long might it take for these effects to appear? eg: Do plants go from healthy to dead in a manner of seconds, hours or years?

Paralysis attack: Could you give us an idea of how many cuts (at minimum) it might need to effect a normal human? (Who I imagine would be the weakest enemy he might be fighting).

General:
Could you please make sure all of your sentences start with a capital letter? I know it seems stupid and unimportant but it breaks the narrative flow @.@

Also note that 'week' is a period of time, and 'weak' means debilitated :3 I think you've got all the wrong spelling for that in your profile (if it only appeared once or twice it would not matter, but because you keep using the word weak, it should be fixed ^^)
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Atragon
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Kevin Keyne
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how about now?
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Shinigami
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The Toxin:
At the moment the poison(s) in Sarin do the following....
  1. Make plants die
  2. Make animals run away

  3. Stain clothes black
  4. Stain hair black
  5. Stain skin green

  6. The gas makes people dizzy
  7. The gas makes them weakened
  8. The gas makes them sickened
  9. The blood is corrosive
  10. Human form gives the flu
  11. Human form gives the flu
  12. Powerful neurotoxin that causes total immobility


At the moment, this seems like a fair bit for a starter character! In particular I think the neurotoxin is too powerful. Rather than paralyse enemies, could slashing them (with the same poison that the gas is made out of) merely disorientate them? This will still be a powerful debuff, but a more fair one for a starting character ^__^ Could you also change what happens if you touch him in human form? It would be cool if things were a bit more consistent, or if you explained how the 1 poison does so many different things?

Abilities:
Toxic Aura: Could you limit it to 2~3 feet rather than 4~6? That should still make bullies/classmates keep away from him, but it means if someone attacked him with a sword they wouldn't become instantly dizzy and always miss (which would be no fun for you!)

Poison Wave: At the moment could you remove this? Powerful poisons in weapon form and an aura-of-dizzyness in human form seems about the right amount of abilities for a beginner ^__^ You can learn more by completing training threads and master all manner of cool new stuff though!

Partnering:
Do you know any way that someone might be able to safely use Sarin? (I assume you have a plan?) :3


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