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| Ruin's bio; Altar's bio | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 16 2011, 03:59 AM (932 Views) | |
| RuinAltar | Aug 16 2011, 03:59 AM Post #1 |
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Character Name: Altar Ruin Age: 18 Gender: male Type: Meister/Weapon Partnered? no not yet will be looking though Image: will have one soon Clothing and description: Weapon Form & Appearance For ruins attire he wears a skin tight turtle neck shirt with no sleeves. The shirt has two layers one being the normal black base and on top of that sewn on is a x formation with a diamond cut out of the middle that is a teal white color. Also sewn on his shirt is a white circle with black writing on it that says withing mercy there is grace and on the back that moves up from the bottom to the top are two cobalt blue and crimson red twin dragons spiraling upwards. Thrown over the shirt is ruin's hand made black leather jacket. The jackets sleeves are cut in the middle of the upper arm and laced back together with three to four inch gap, also on the sleeves ends is a lining of three inch long white with black tipped fur and gem beads hanging off. The cuffs that are built into the sleeves has one huge spike coming out the side that can be used as a weapon all its own. On the inside of the jackets collar is a lord deaths pendant and straps on the outside used to close the collars open flaps. As for the shoulders buttoned leather shoulder pads with a foot extra that hangs off that covers a little over half the upper arm. As for the markings of the jacket on the back sewn into it are two scythes one crossed over the other that are silver and gold. As for Ruin's pants he wears baggy blue jeans with extra pockets on the upper legs and the sides of the knees. the pants are a dark blue with light blue flames on the bottom that rise up to the knees. Also around his waste are three belts each holding one tail. The three tails are from huge foxes and are connected to the belts ether threw chain of cloth. The outside tails are white with black tips while the middle one is black with a white tip. The belts them selves are a a white with silver lining and buckle. His shoes heavy combat boots with metal toes and metal also at the heel which hold talons. the toes have four talons and the heel has one. the claws are used for climbing or even attacking if threatened. Also on the sides of the metal at the toes are two spines that stick out about two inches. On the top of the boots are laces to tight the boots and white straps to hold them on his feet. The boots themselves are dark gray and black soles. At the front of the soles are 8 spines that line up behind the talons of the metal toes that allow better grip while in combat. For ruin himself hes 6'2 and weights 180 pounds. He has what looks like tribal markings on his upper arms which can be seen threw the lacing of the jacket, on his eyes covered by a white scarf that he can see threw and his palms which are hidden with white gloves. His skin tone is a pinking tan white his eyes are a pleasant pale green. His teeth are shark like white two sets of large canines one of the top jaw and one on the bottom like a dog or cats would. His hair is black with a blue tent and it begins long for his bangs, then shortens when it gets to the top of his head and finally lengthens again for the rest of his hair. Towards the head on his long hair he has a bead holding his hair together as to keep it from getting in his way during combat. As for his weapon form he is a scythe, the sharp part of the blade is the same pale green as his eyes and a brownish gray for the top. Also along the top of the blade are scale like fangs that move half way down the blade. On the other side is a Axe like form that for the base is a gold ring but parting from the ring are three crosses and six needles that are silver. At the top is a tribal looking spear head. that is black as night. The handle is gray with the very scarf given to him tied to the hilt. On the scarf are Ruins eye, arm, and palm markings engraved into it in red. History: Ruin was born into a large Clan of Meisters and weapons. He being of few having the gift of being Meister with a weapon form. Though his family line was large and he had many Cousins, Aunts, and Uncles he was the only born child of his parents threw there decision. When Ruin was young he was cherished loved respected and cared for by his parents and the entire clan due to his gift of being both Meister an weapon. while being treated this way he never really noticed the true goal his family had planed for him. Instead he grew into a fine young man everyone would want. He was strong, well built, and above all very loving. At this point in time he has grown to fell that family is important and must be protected. That what his family wanted. As he aged his parent began to train him in many styles of combat from kick boxing to Shukokai and more. This trained soon became brutal in time and many days he would go to bed with gashes a foot long on his torso, and cuts every where else. After a years training Ruin would be forced to fight a family member to prove hes still worth and his wavelength pure. And even then he would be pushed back into the brutal training till the day his first war came up. At this point he wasn't the sweet guy we all want to meet but a deadly, violent and above all dangerous fighter. His softer side grew into a more passive state. The first day of the battle Ruin was only four-teen young but strong And the battle lasted 25 days a grueling and horrifying long time for Ruin to be in a battle his family won but he was left with injuries that would kill him if not taken care off. Ruin had been laying the among the lifeless bodies and streams of blood for hours after that battle, he being left to die alone with no hope and no love. Fear had gotten to him now as he waited for death to come for him but in that moment of self depression and loss a stranger. A outsider had come dressed in a large hat with scarfs placed tightly around the brim of the hat, a thin see threw cloth around the rim hiding the face of his savior,and a torn white with black trimming robe to cover there body. Ruin at this time of seeing this battle though the outsider was sent to kill any enemy who still lived but he was spared. The outside took him in and slowly nurtured him back to health but Ruin lost his ability to transform into his weapon state. Ruin was emotionless and stayed that way the whole time. Fearing nothing, feeling nothing Ruin stayed silent till a trust between then grew and it did. When Ruin was fully healed he returned home to his village mourning his death. He stood there for a moment as then yelled out hes alive. the clan was happy but inside they wanted him gone. He was dangerous like they wanted him to be but he was to dangerous now. They all smiled as they let him live among them till the elders sent a small party to kill him threw there fear of his killing the clan. That night Ruin was with the outsider talking calmly till the noises of someone above caught his ears. Automatically he got up and readied himself for a long grueling battle and so i came. using the kills he had learned and the equipment he was wearing the squad of 4 assassins lay dead on the floor. Blood oozing out of them. Ruin then knew he was no longer welcome and left the clan. But the clan quickly followed him and his friend. The clan knew of the outsider and what Ruin was doing. Ruin wanted out. He wanted to go somewhere he didn't have to kill every day or train till he bleed. No he wanted to learn about everything else and the outsider had told him about death city and the school that was build there. With the clan following him the outsider and ruin kept moving towards death city. Battles happened every other day they slaked off or grew tired. During one battle they couldn't run. They where surrounded with no escape but to fight them. As the battle began Ruin felt the need to stop for he had noticed he was fighting his own family. His mother and father both where attacking. With no idea what to do he turned to the outsider and with a slight smile "to death do we part?" he says as he slowly turns into the scythe he knew he need to be. The outsider taking hold of Ruin quickly says softly "till death." He repeated as they both fight with all they have rendering Ruin unconscious and his family horribly injured. The outsider after the battle ending and they escaped turned to Ruin in thought. "you know Ruin. You will be a grand scythe" the outsider said softly After the encounter the outsider and Ruin arrived in Death city. There save haven. Ruin at this time felt close to the outsider but he knew they had to go there separate ways. Before leaving Ruin in Death city the outsider said "My dear boy, you have grown so. You are eight-teen now and a fine man you have become. Thus i will give two gifts to you in recognition and graduated for what you have done for me. first i give you one of the scarves i was given back when i was young. and the second my name." the outsider had paused as he placed the scarf over Ruin's eyes and continued "I am Dearth, follower of Famine." and he was gone. Ruin now alone stood with the scarf tied around his head covering his eyes and markings. With a sigh he slowly makes his way to Shibusen. Personality: Ruin after time grew from a confidant brave kid to a shy and nervous young lad. he was trained to be a protective fighter after leaving his home and with someone there that he had to guard he slowly gained a fatherly figure around the outsider and soon that would spread to everyone he trusts. he has very few ways to anger him but the few that are there are those who tend to be bullies people that enjoy chaos and blood. and above all violence. if one is triggered he will simply tell you "leave, stand down, give up this serried and grow up. the world is madness why cause more when we are already over flowing in it?". when upset he tends to disappear for hour or days and its very hard to find him. if unable to escape he will grow dead silent and hide his eyes. the causes of his sadness is betrayal, feeling of loss or become useless, seeing pointless death or fighting and lose of a friend. but happiness is very common with him. the causes of happiness are friends, family, being loved, the feeling of usefulness and, the joy of others. the most common ways of seeing him happy is with a slight smile and soft tender eyes. most of the time if not all the time everyone will see the emotionless stare he gives that almost seems sad. Ability: Technique Name: weapon form Effects/Description: Ruin transforms into the scythe described above. when using partial his right arm becomes the blade of the scythe with the scales moving off the back onto the blade. (a passive ability only used under the conditions of when weapon is down or, close to death.) Combat Style: Ruin being trained most of his life has gained the ability to have faster moment status and with his strong build he had a massive amount of strength. his style and form combined all that he has learned into one which he had names the style of the ruins. The style is build for close range thus when battling a range fighter his movement skills come into play and a lot of tactics. quick movement while playing 'Chicken' allows him to make quick movement foreword towards the enemy while quickly bouncing back leaving the enemy in a slight confusion. This provides the open spots he needs to build his combo's. During any fight ranged or not when in battle he strikes in 3 set combos that normally range between various punches to a variety of kicks. each set having a different number and strength while in the combo. Then his tactics come in. between the ranged and close ranged fight his tactics remain the same when dealing with kishen eggs but when a enemy is strong like a witch or a kishen the tactics get more complicated. most of which consists of dodging and attack/retreat which almost always leaves the enemy confused. When his weakness are influenced in combat such as insanity or unable to transform into his scythe mod or even his emotions can prove to be a disadvantage in a serious and deadly battle. when Influenced but insanity hes prone to attacking anyone and/or anything around in a thoughtless blood rage. If influenced by emotions such as sadness or anger his ability to hold a serten weapon become nearly impossible and will cause burning oh his hands. if caught in sadness he losses his will to fight and become vulnerable to attacks that can kill him, but when enraged he will attack without a though or a care in mind which can put him at risk of serious injury or even death. And as for his weapon form he can no longer transform into it full or part. This is due to the battle that he faced in his younger years. Threw fear his ability has shut down and made it where he cant use when wanted. Miscellaneous Information: Ruins worst fear is the one he has had to handle once before. losing his family. he had already taken his father down and fears he will lose his mother and anyone he choose to trust. with this fear he tries his best to show that he is strong and that he has no fear. but it also causes him to defend those he does care about with his life. Strengths: [*]fast- he moves quickly to dodge or attack [*]strong- he can take powerful blows as well as give them [*]reflexes- he quick to react to any situation [*]will- his will along with his weapons can make a powerful attack all by itself Weaknesses: [*] susceptible to insanity - cause he saw so much blood in his younger years, he has become weak against insanity. [*] soul wavelength- can change depending on the mood. mostly if in fear or sadden wont be able to use his weapon partner [*] weapon form -when his arm is in weapon form he tends to be a bit rash and uncontrolled in battle leaving a lot of open spots to hit him at. Rp sample: the sky was dark, the trees still as if frozen in time, the air still as a familiar figure stands motionless between two dark wooded trees. allow sigh breaks the chilling silence as another laughs "are you scared boy? is fear getting to you!?!" Ruin still stood there his body motionless as he continues to think 'hes a stronger opponent than i though. my normal punches don't work. arg.. i wish i had a weapon of some sort....' as his though continue to pass a slight breeze begins to grow 'the wind? it blows now? is it a sign?' he wonders as he opens his eyes to see his arm as a the blade he once knew. 'how? how is it i comes when need not wanted?' he wonders as he quickly moves foreword. the enemy left in shock as Ruin jumps and disappears into a black mist. "none can harm me. none can kill me." he says as the blade zooms up and across the back of his opponent. the sound of creaming echoes threw the trees and it fades. the body of the dead opponent quickly turning into the kishin egg. he sighs as he looks around and grabs the egg. "i have never understood the reasoning of eating these things but i much rather not waste it." he says as he eats it. "now to Death city." he mumbles as his footsteps fade as he vanishes from sight. "Pupil: Edited by RuinAltar, Sep 13 2011, 06:42 AM.
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| Imp of Chaos | Aug 18 2011, 02:05 AM Post #2 |
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Hi there Ruin! It's me, Imp, and I'll be giving your profile a look over before it gets accepted~! So far this is a good profile, but It would be great if you could give us some more details, though, so we can know more about Ruin :3 Don't be daunted if it seems like I am asking a lot, it's only because I am so intrigued by your character and want to know more! ^__^ Description This is a pretty good description. It would be fantastic if you could organise it into regular paragraphs for us! Don't forget to mention how tall Ruin is ^__^ History So far the history is interesting, and it has really piqued my interest! I would love to know more about how your character grew up :3 This is the part that is really important in your profile, because it is where you tie all of the other parts into a cohesive character. This is where you justify personality quirks, talk about how they learned special powers, what motivates them, and what goals they have for the future. A good history can set a good character profile apart from a great one, and helps you understand your character better :3 It's a good place to make your character unique too~ Make sure that your history covers all the basics like, how did they come to Shibusen, how did they find out about all their powers, What was their childhood like, and how did it influence Ruin's personality ^__^ Personality This is a great snapshot of the personality, but I was hoping you could flesh it out a little :3 You obviously have a good idea of what your character is like, but it just isn't as clearly defined here as it could be ^__^ Don't forget that not everyone expresses emotions in the same way (when I am angry I go quiet, but when someone else is angry they might rave, yell and break things). Make sure you tell us what makes your character angry, happy and sad, (what their triggers are) and what they do to express these emotions ^__^ Abilities Please make sure you give a really good description for each ability. If possible give us a sentence for each of power, duration, and any drawbacks the power might have. Also give a brief description of how it looks or how it would be used in RP so that others know what their character is experiencing ^__^ Make sure you add in a weapon description in full transformation, and any partial transformations your character might have :3 Combat Style This is great, but I'd love it if you could elaborate a little. This is the place to put down any martial arts your character learned in their history, and to tell us how good or bad they are at fighting. Could they take down Jackie Chan, or would they have trouble fighting their way out of a paper bag we want to know~Roleplay Sample At the moment you don't have a role play sample and usually I wouldn't mod your character without it, but because you are new I worried you might have forgotten it ^__^ Here are a few tips: Although we don't have a minimum word limit for posts it's important to make sure you always try your best to make posts interesting, and to improve your writing prowess (even the best have room to improve~). If you ever feel stuck when writing try making a check list!
Here at 42 we encourage people to RP in third person style, because it makes a thread easier to read as a whole when there are lots of Rpers ^___^ Overall This is a great character, and I really look forward to seeing it fleshed out a little~ I think with a little love and care it could be a really fantastic character :3 I really can't wait to read more about Ruin! ^__^ Well done~ |
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| RuinAltar | Aug 19 2011, 12:11 AM Post #3 |
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ok ill get it done.
Edited by RuinAltar, Aug 19 2011, 12:15 AM.
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| Imp of Chaos | Aug 19 2011, 12:58 AM Post #4 |
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Administrator - Gleefully Cruel
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Hey Ruin! Great to see all the effort you have put into the profile ^__^ Your character is really shaping up~ Just as a note - it would be great if you could divide up the description (and maybe personality) into shorter paragraphs, just to make it easier on the eye. Also it would be fantastic if you could hit enter twice when you make a new paragraph, rather than just once. I know it looks bad in word sometimes but the latest versions of word have weird double line settings and whatnot (basically it will look ok once you post it on the site). Another thing is this - please don't post a reply to the thread until after you have made the changes ^__^ I use it as a yard stick to know when to mod the profile again~ Description "heavy combat boots with talons on the melted into the metal toes inside the boot" sounds a little awkward, could you rephrase it for me? ^__^ It's clear you know what you are talking about here but sometimes other people can get confused so it is always important to make yourself as clear as possible! I would also be interested in knowing how he tries to hide the black marks over his eyes (and what the black marks look like ^__^) History It would be great if you could mention what the fight was like (the one he got into when he was 14). Could you describe who this mysterious outsider was? :3 sounds interesting~ Was it a teacher, a friend, a lover? Or someone who worked at a drive-thru I am itching to know!Abilities Please choose just two of these to start out with ^__^ once you have completed a couple of missions you can get a training thread, where you can learn new powers/abilities~ That means they won't be gone forever, just until your character grows a little and gains more experience ^__^ Overall I think you have a very interesting and consistent character ^__^ It has been a joy to read about Ruin so far, but it would be great if you could work on polishing your spelling/grammar a little bit :3 I know it can be difficult but soon you will be pro, I am sure~ For now, could you go through and try to make sure that every sentence starts with a capital letter and ends with a full stop? Try to think of a sentence as one full idea; so a full stop shouldn't be placed in the middle of a sentence ^__^ only after you have finished the 'idea'. For example it wouldn't. Make sense if I. Broke my 'idea' up by putting full stops in. The middle of my sentence =P Don't sweat it though, everyone makes mistakes, and it can be easy to overlook an error or two when you are typing ^__^ We will work on improving the profile together~ Edited by Imp of Chaos, Aug 19 2011, 01:01 AM.
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| RuinAltar | Aug 19 2011, 03:11 AM Post #5 |
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done editing ready for you to reveiw it again |
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| Shinigami | Aug 21 2011, 09:15 AM Post #6 |
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Yoii Ruin~ Shinigami's turn today! General: This is an important one (though it doesn't sound like it): Could you make sure you start every sentence with a capital letter? Thanks!I know that spelling can be a real pain, but I think it is also really important to giving the right message across, and to make sure people know what you are describing. I'll give you an example:
meaning: “The outsider prostitute a large hat with scarfs ocean waves around the main part of the hat” rather than “the outsider wore a large hat with scarves around the main part of the hat” At 42 we don't mind too much what your current skills are- what we really value is people who want to improve to become super amazing RPers! =D Clothing: What you have done so far is a really good job. I can pretty accurately picture what Ruin looks like~ However, I'd just like to confirm one thing.
Are these scythes/blades/talons just for show, or does he attack and hurt people with these? If he hurts people, could you go into some more detail so everyone can understand 100% what you mean? ^^ Oh! And could you also describe what the markings on his eyes look like? Are they a pentagram? A Smiley face? Some tribal circles? I'd love to know (It also helps for when someone draws your character)Is he blind by having the scarf over his eyes? History:
A large family uses means lots of brothers and sisters. Could you explain how he has a large family but no siblings please? ![]() Could you also tell us why the village / family started to hate Ruin? I'd love for you to really explore this area ^__^ I'm really curious! |
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| RuinAltar | Aug 23 2011, 06:54 PM Post #7 |
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done. ready for looking over. |
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| Shinigami | Aug 25 2011, 10:43 AM Post #8 |
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Thanks for the edits! You did an awesome job! O: Talons & Spikes: As he has these extra weapons on him, could you please remove the ability "waves of ruin"? :3 This is just to keep things fair so 1 person doesn't get lots of combat skills when they start and no-one else gets that many. History:
A whore is a prostitute. A prostitute is a woman who sells herself for sex. You probably mean something else? =P I know it is tempting to rely on what the red wiggly lines suggest to change your words to when you spell them wrong, but it is really important to make sure you change it to the word you want it to- not a random word! ^__^ This is kinda hard, but super important! :3 I think though with some practice we make you an awesome speller and RPer! What you probably mean is a "wore" (as in- 'he wore a hat') rather than "whore"! ^___^ Personality: You've done a really good job here! Abilities:
What are the conditions? |
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| RuinAltar | Aug 25 2011, 11:23 PM Post #9 |
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done. i hope everything turns out ok? |
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| Shinigami | Aug 26 2011, 08:30 AM Post #10 |
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Thanks for the edits~ This keeps improving every time :3 History: You still have the prostitute in here :3
Abilities: Can you please tell us in more detail about his abilities?
How big is the dome? How often can he do this? What does it feel like to be hit by the dome?
Could you please remove "unable to protect"? When he is unconscious can he still fight? eg: While unconscious could he be running around and attacking people? If he can be an "unconscious fighter" could you please make that a new ability? Combat Section: Could you tell us a little more? You've made a really good start. Does he punch a lot? Does he rely on tactics or brute strength? How does he deal with a ranged fighter? (eg: Dodging and running in?) |
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we want to know~

Thanks!
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8:19 AM Jul 11