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| Tsunomi Corlana | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 11 2011, 06:05 AM (904 Views) | |
| SunomyCorlana | Aug 1 2011, 01:21 AM Post #11 |
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Fresh Meat
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i think i got it now,what do you think? |
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Say No to Drugs Say Yes to Tacos | |
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| Shinigami | Aug 1 2011, 09:23 AM Post #12 |
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Nice work :3 It is nice to know how her parents died. Abilities: Could you please remove her invisibility ability? Her other one seems really cool though!At the moment you also say that her chainsaw is 16 foot long- that's 5 meters- or about the length of a classroom! You can have this if you really want, but it might be hard for someone to use her @_@ Imagine trying to chop a ninja with something that big! RP Sample: I know these can be hard to write- so maybe could you re-write your current one as if you were making an RP reply to the following?
Good luck! On 42 we really encourage everyone to always try to write better and better so one day everyone can be a really awesome writer!
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| SunomyCorlana | Aug 8 2011, 05:20 PM Post #13 |
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Fresh Meat
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what about now? |
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Say No to Drugs Say Yes to Tacos | |
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| Shinigami | Aug 9 2011, 09:25 AM Post #14 |
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You keep improving and improving! Weapon Form:"
At the moment her blade is 6 foot, but her total size is 3 foot :3 Could you fix this up? At the moment the blade is bigger than the combined length! Abilities: Could you please delete GÅruden'ai? She can learn it later (as an upgrade) but I think when she joins Shibusen she should not have this ability. RP Sample: Thanks for the update Could you make sure that every sentence starts with a capital letter, and when someone new talks you press the [enter] key? eg:
instead of
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| SunomyCorlana | Aug 9 2011, 05:59 PM Post #15 |
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Fresh Meat
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ok how bout' now |
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Say No to Drugs Say Yes to Tacos | |
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| Shinigami | Aug 11 2011, 10:43 AM Post #16 |
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OK! You have improved heaps so I am going to approve this character. This means that you can start to RP and have fun with your character :-) |
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8:19 AM Jul 11
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![]](http://z3.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)




Her other one seems really cool though!
On 42 we really encourage everyone to always try to write better and better so one day everyone can be a really awesome writer!

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8:19 AM Jul 11