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| Tsunomi Corlana | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 11 2011, 06:05 AM (903 Views) | |
| SunomyCorlana | Jun 11 2011, 06:05 AM Post #1 |
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Character Name: Tsunomi Corlana (pronounced: soo-no-me core-lawn-uh) Age: 15 Gender: Female Type: Weapon Partnered? No Image: human form: Clothing and description: she is 5"4' and she is very cute,she likes wearing her little pikachu costume,the pikachu costume has short sleeves and is yellow,it has a hood that looks like pikachu's head,it has a built in tail in the back that looks like pikachu's tail,and it is only a dress and is a skirt. She has short orange hair and blue eyes,and always has an attitude carried around with her.She wears little yellow sandles when wearing her pikachu costume,green ones when wearing her gir costume,and blue ones when she is wearing her kimono. She also wears her gir costume on holidays,her outfit has long black sleeves when the chest part is green,the leggings for the outfit are black,and has a black dog tail on the back,the hood looks like the head of the character Gir from invader zim.Gir . The gir costume looks like this->Gir Costume and then she wears this costume to birthdays,it is a blue and orange kimono with very long sleeves to long for her arms,there is a very large orange bow on the back of the kimono and the skirt part is very long and blue and it looks much like this one.-> Kimono.she only wears her hair up when the temperature is above 75 degrees F. she is short in a cute way and is very thin usually she wears colorful clothes but that doesn't make her fun all the time,which she isn't. Her smile is very comforting too. When she is a chainsaw the handle is purple (awesome color)with blue stripes,the blade on it's made with mechanical iron,to turn on the chainsaw there is a purple thread to pull to turn the chainsaw on,the blade is about 2 ft. long but surprisingly is very light. The full chainsaw is 5 ft. long. History: Her parents were killed by a witch. At birth, her parents rejoiced. Tsunomi was the only child her parents tried to have,that had survived. When she turned 1 year old on her birthday Tsunomi's parents made her a video telling her about her ability of turning into a chainsaw.She was confused.When she turned 2 she had alot of things on her small child mind,she didnt understand her amazing ability.When she turned 3 she for the first time turned into a chainsaw,her parents were amazed. When she turned 4 she became amazingly intellegant,she could be sleeping in class and still know everything the teacher was saying. When she turned 4 her parents made the deal that she would enroll in the DWMA. When she was 5 years old she learned Gōruden'ai,her most important ability. When she turned 6 years old she met up with lord death to talk about what class she would be in,that same day a man with long red hair called her a cutie and patted her on the head. When she turned 6 her parents were murdered by a witch with long black hair,she had to watch the whole thing,her parents most likely were killed by that witch because they were meister and weapon also,her parents were tortured right in an alleyway,tortured until they were beaten ragged and dead,after her parents were murdered the witch turned to her and tsunomi stood up confidently,"ill get you for this!"tsunomi yelled."you can try"is what the witch replied. When she turned 7 she stayed with a family for a couple days then left,she never made a long relationship with anyone. When she turned 8 she met a boy in the woods. "hello" Tsunomi said. "hello"he replied,"my name is Zack Anderson"he said. there was a small silence."you want to know my name dont you?" Tsunomi said. "it would be helpful" Zack said. "ok,my name is Tsunomi Corlana" Tsunomi said. They were only with each other for 3 days then parted ways. When she turned 9 she was kidnapped by a bunch of thugs,but she fought her way out of there hideout. When she turned ten she made her way back to Death City. When she turned 11 she saw a boy with white stripes in his hair,for a second they were just staring at each other,then Tsunomi just walked away. When she turned 12 she got an apartment for free using her cuteness,and never talked to her neighbors,but they tried to talk to her,but she never opened the door. When she turned 13 she went back to the DWMA to meet up with lord death,she saw that same red head that called her a cutie,but she just walked away. When she turned 14 she enrolled in the DWMA and is looking for a partner. She is now 15 and is still looking for a partner and is hoping to get one soon. She never knew her parents and she hates witches,kishins,stuck up selfish people,and anything in that sort. she is a self reliant girl now because of how her parents were killed when she was little. One day she was playing in the woods and she sliced her arm in the air and a sonic boom came through the forest,she got frightened and ran off.Thats how she learned Sonikkubūmu. Personality: Shes kind in her own good fashion way,she hates people that are selfish,she worships god (bible) like a father,her real father killed by a witch. Shes a very self reliant girl too. She hates people who think their better than everyone else,when she sees one,she punches them. She makes her way to get by by using her cuteness, she thinks its hilarious. when she knows that she is in trouble,she finds a way to protect herself. She makes friends easily even though she doesnt interact with much people. She has an attitude that she uses every once in a while,she also is nice rarely ever. Abilities: Technique Name: Sonikkubūmu Effects/Description: Her meister must slash her in the air and a sonic boom will go through out 50 yards of them and will only hurt enemies. She can only use this when she is concentrating hard. She can only use it once every hour. Combat Style: she just comes out in front of them,says something catchy,and charges,the easy way to fight. Miscellaneous Information: she is afraid of the devil(bible),which she thinks is the reason for all of the bad things that happened to her. Strengths: 1. She is able to make friends easily. 2. She is strong. 3. She is smart. 4. she has great battle strategies. Weaknesses: 1. She is very sensitive in emotions. 2. She is a sucker for cute animals (but who isn't?). 3. when one of her friends gets hurt in battle,she is distracted by that thought and easy to manipulate. RP Sample: "i cant beleive im here" Tsunomi said to herself as she walked into the DWMA. She had to get to Lord Death to discuss where she was going. "excuse me" Tsunomi said to an odd hair colored boy, "do you know where the Death Room is?" He stared at her for a second and then said "yeah of course" "ok can you show me the way" she asked. "sure" he said. When they got to the death room the boy left and Lord Death turned around to see Tsunomi and put up a peace sign. "hey Tsunomi, hows it hanging?" he said. Tsunomi laughed, "well we need to figure out what class im going to and everything"After they discussed everything Tsunomi went to her class and sat down and learned more,while sleeping. Edited by SunomyCorlana, Aug 9 2011, 05:58 PM.
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| Shinigami | Jun 12 2011, 02:46 AM Post #2 |
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Hi there ![]() Welcome to 42! We are a site that prides ourselves on helping people make really interesting characters, and helping people become the best RPer they can become ^^ I will help you write a really awesome profile by making suggestions. I will also be sending this reply to your sibling, because you seem to have identical areas where you can improve :3 Clothing & Description: Close your eyes- now picture your character. How would you describe them? How would you describe them so you would not confuse them with anyone else? I’d really suggest thinking hard about this part- like if they are fat or thin, or if they have calloused, manly hard, or if they are tall or short The more detail the better, as this can really bring your character to life and make them interesting!Could you also describe Tsunomi’s weapon form in some detail? Eg: Is she just a normal chainsaw, or is she that weird mecha-arm stuff as well? The more detail the better : ) History: You have a nice start here : ) The history section is where we explain
One tip that I have found really useful when I right character history is to first explain the action (eg: Tsunomi found Zack and then they lived together), and then to explain why that happened. (eg: because they were both lonely, and they thought being together would help them survive.) Personality: The personality section can be hard to write- but that’s an excellent reason to write it! The personality section tells the reader things like…
I’d recommend writing lots in here- it can help you remember how to RP the character, and it can help other people too ^___^ Who is ‘god’ and ‘the devil’ by the way? Do you mean the Christian God & The Chrisian Devil (from the Bible), or do you mean the characters in Soul Eater- Death god Shinigami & first Kishin Ashura? Abilities: This is a full list of abilities- so if it is not on your list- then they cannot do it! The ability section can be a little tricky to write. I’d recommend making sure you write everything you know about the technique now- because more information is better. For example Tsunomi can turn invisible. Can she do this when she is a chainsaw? How long does it last? Why does it make other people deaf? Does it make them completely deaf, or just deaf to her noises? (eg: Could they hear a car drive by) Strengths / Weaknesses: You’ve made a good try at this one I’d just recommend changing it a little bit :3 Could you make sure it also shows in battle what their strengths & weaknesses are? Eg: They are very fast in battle, but they get tired very quickly.Overall: A very good start for someone your age, but I think you do improve it more! |
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| SunomyCorlana | Jun 12 2011, 04:42 AM Post #3 |
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Fresh Meat
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ok thx for the advice
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Say No to Drugs Say Yes to Tacos | |
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| Shinigami | Jun 13 2011, 11:48 AM Post #4 |
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Good improvements ^^ I hope you are proud of them! Description: You did a good job here describing her ^^ Could you also please describe what she looks like when she is a chainsaw? History Could you please hit the [enter] key a few times in here- whenever it would make sense to hit enter, like when you jump ahead in time- and also capitalise the start of all of your sentences? On 42 we really encourage everyone to write their best ^^ It can be a little hard at times, but if you always try to write your best you can become a really amazing author! But if you don't... then sometimes it can be hard to make RPing fun with other people. Personality Could you tell me more about her? =) Also, who is "god?" Do you mean God from the bible? Abilities Same comments as last time =P RP Sample: Could you please write one of your character? |
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| SunomyCorlana | Jun 24 2011, 08:56 PM Post #5 |
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what do you think |
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Say No to Drugs Say Yes to Tacos | |
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| Shinigami | Jun 25 2011, 04:20 AM Post #6 |
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Yoiii Tsuno! Thanks for the edits ^^ This time we will focus just on description, to really help us both out :3 Clothing & description: This is a section where you get to show off (and improve) how awesomely you can describe things. For example, in this section you would not say "She looks like this pic" you would say "She wears a red shirt that is two sizes too big for her, a long-sleeve white shirt, and big long skirt with a lot of frills. She likes to wear a pair of straw flip-flops, and tends to wear a fluffy pink beret on her head. She has long, curly pink hair that goes all the way down to her waist, and giant green eyes. She looks really cute." With this in mind, could you try to describe what she usually wears in your own words? ^__^ Tell us what a pikachu/gir/kimono costume looks like! Finally, could you tell us more about her chainsaw? From just reading your description ("a little mechanical") I am not sure what you mean. The picture you have supplies looks really awesome, so I would love to know (in words) what she looks like as a chainsaw ^^ eg: She is an average chainsaw, but 900 feet long, and made out of black iron. eg: She is a 4 foot long chainsaw. Instead of the usual place to hold the chainsaw, it fits onto someone's hand like a glove. It is pink, and has lots of pictures of kittens on it. The chainsaw also has big angel wings on it, but it cannot fly. ^___^ Best of luck! |
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| SunomyCorlana | Jun 25 2011, 07:11 PM Post #7 |
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thx 4 advice,what do you think now? Edited by SunomyCorlana, Jun 25 2011, 07:14 PM.
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Say No to Drugs Say Yes to Tacos | |
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| Imp of Chaos | Jun 26 2011, 01:40 AM Post #8 |
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Administrator - Gleefully Cruel
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Wow! That is a really good improvement! I hope you are proud of yourself =) I think this time we will focus on her history ^^ As a general note the history should be where we learn about the character. It is where you get to explain what has happened in her life, and it is where you get to explain how she became who she is. It is also written "from start to end" - so in each paragraph she gets older and older ^^ (like a book) With this in mind could you please...
Good luck and keep up the good work! |
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| SunomyCorlana | Jul 30 2011, 09:52 PM Post #9 |
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Fresh Meat
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now what do you think?
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Say No to Drugs Say Yes to Tacos | |
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| Shinigami | Jul 31 2011, 07:18 AM Post #10 |
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Great improvement I think you're really improving your profile in leaps and bounds!History: Could you tell us the story of how her parents died? You should write this after the sentence "when she was 6 her parents died." Could you also tell us the story of her meeting the boy in the woods? Who was he, and why was it important? You should write this after the sentence "when she was 8 she met a boy in the woods." Personality: Could you write more about her personality? It seems like she is a bit rude / silent and that she likes to get things by looking cute? I would love to know more about her, and how she acts! |
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8:19 AM Jul 11
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I think you're really improving your profile in leaps and bounds!
8:19 AM Jul 11