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Phenominon Fury; She's just like me 8D
Topic Started: Jan 23 2011, 06:38 PM (426 Views)
Phenominal Phenominon
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Character Name:Phenominon ‘Phen’ ‘Nom’ Fury

Age: 14

Gender: Female

Type: Weapon

Partnered? No

Image:Weapon Form (minus guitar strings)

Clothing and description:
Looks: Bright red, shaggy hair that falls just below her shoulders and is usually found in a messy ponytail. Big blue round eyes with many red eyelashes and thin eyebrows. Several freckles form a line below each eye and thin lips. Her body is slender as in thin, yet slightly muscular with pale white skin and she stands at 5’3”.

Clothing: She can usually be found wearing a long red jacket with a blue collared shirt underneath, a pair of black jeans with gold décor and deer skin moccasins. Also commonly seen with a black skateboard with wisps of wind floating on it.

Weapon Form: In weapon form Phenominon is a sword with two silver wings on either side of the hilt. The sword reaches out to about 5’10” with the blade reaching 5 feet and the hilt only about 10 inches. The blade has curves every two inches and sparkles in the light. The wings have a span of 2 feet on either side. The hilt is lined with gold rings.

History: Phenominon was born to Jezebel and Jaken Fury on November 19 1996. Her mother was a weapon and her father was a meister, giving her the chance to become either. Her parents raised Phen as well as they could, teaching her the ways of the meister and weapon, waiting for the day they would find out which she was. The Fury’s lived on the outskirts of Sweden, in a village called Asgard. Phen’s parents lived there to escape the violence and killings of Shibusen and lived there happily for the first seven years of Phen’s life.

Phen found out which she was when she was but five-years old. There had been one young boy in the school that Phen attended that despised her. They were on the playground when the boy started hitting and kicking Phen until she cried and stealing her beloved skateboard. In an act to protect herself, she accidentally transformed one arm into a small sword and cut the boy down his arm. She was suspended for carrying a knife. Throughout the time she was suspended, her mother trained her about how to transform back and forth with her father wielding her each time, running laps around the forest to increase her stamina. This was probably the happiest time in her life.

But, when word spread that Phen and her mother could transform into weapons, the villagers set out to destroy the threat, afraid that the mother and daughter would destroy their peaceful village, ending the peace that they worked so hard for. Not seeing that in their attempt to slay the thing that threatened their peace, they ripped any last part that remained. But before they could get them, her parents heard. But not soon enough. The villagers broke into their house the following night. They slaughtered Phen’s mother before her eyes and was dragged away from her mother by her father through a passage way in the basement they had found in the abandoned cottage they lived in. She wanted to stay with her dying mother but was grateful that her father saved her. Now that her mother was gone, Phen’s father could find no connection with his daughter, for if she hadn’t of injured that boy with her weapon form, they would have never been found out and his wife would have lived, though he did keep her for four years out of the memory of his wife and the cruelty of leaving her on her own.

When Phenominon turned 13, her father packed her few bags, gave her a handful of cash, a house number and sent her out to attend Shibusen. She saw her fathers eyes before she left and saw hate. She still believes she was the cause of her mother’ death because of her mistake. So she left without saying goodbye, nor did she get one. She set off to death city with nothing but a handful of money, a few possessions and her mother’s lingering memory.


Personality: Phenominon is an outgoing person and enjoys finding the good in all people. Despite her kind, and caring aura she is hurt because of her kindness and is incapable of defending her self. She is loyal, as in you can trust her with secrets, but don’t expect her to hand over money so easily. She is polite to adults, speaking in a manner you don’t usually hear in children, but totally lets loose when she is with her friends. She is quiet and sometimes keeps to herself, but yet she is not afraid to speak her mind. She also loves riding on her skateboard she nicknamed Wind. She hates herself because she believes she was the cause of her mother’s death, which makes her a bit angry for no apparent reason at the oddest of times. She only is capable of anger when she sees someone being picked on or beaten, but never because of something happening to her.

Abilities: She has a Meisters ability to see souls and she has great stramina and speed.
She can fly when she is in her weapon form only with a meister.

Technique Name:Fly away
Effects/Description: In weapon form Phenominon is able to extend her swords wings and carry her meister to safety. This technique can last as long as her meister can hold on, or as long as she is in her weapon form. It doesn’t take a lot of effort seeing as it was something she was born with, and she can carry as much weight as she feels like as long as it’s her meister, but can only fly a certain distance, around 4 kilometers at speed of around 2 miles per hour.

Technique Name: Partial transformation
Effects/Description: Phenominon can quickly transform her right arm from the elbow down into a 5 foot blade with curves every two inches. Though through lack of immense training, she can only partial transform in times of moderate danger.

Technique Name: Full transformation
Effects/Description: Phen can turn into a 5'10" long sword with a pair of silver wings on each side with the ability to fly and a span of 2 feet on either side(4 feet in all).

Combat Style: She prefers hand to hand combat, and acts quite violent during it. Usually though, she refuses to fight without a meister, unless it is someone else in immanent, short term, danger.

Miscellaneous Information: She loves to get on peoples nerves, just loves it, especially when they don’t expect it cause she looks like a sweet innocent girl. They don’t know the other half of her (mwhaha). She is an amazing swimmer and can swim quite swiftly. She has extreme skill when it comes to a skateboard.

Strengths:

  • She can quickly transform into her full form.
  • She can fly for a very long time without stopping.
  • She has great stamina and is quite fast.


Weaknesses:

  • Completely clueless when it comes to others feelings.
  • Agonizingly slow in partial transformation because of lack of training.
  • Completely clumsy.


Roleplay Sample:
Phenominon stood on one of the many spikes of Shibusen. Knees bent, back arched, preparing to let loose her long legs. One, two… Three! And she soared in the night sky to the nearest building.. She took in the great sight of Death city while jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Here she was free from all the worries of school. She was free from any thing had to deal with while connected to the earth. Slowly, taking in the scenery from above, she ran out of Death city and walked over the sands of the Nevada desert. She looked behind here’re looked at Death city with admiring eyes. The mountain of houses and shops leading up to the peak of the city, Shibusen. She look carefully around the city, and something appeared. A light yellow circle encircled the entire city. A jagged line perched from the top of the circle.
“That’s a soul.” She muttered to herself. But, it was so large, how could it be? From the glow of the soul, Death city looked like a black dot. A pupil in the center of a blue eye. She looked away from the city and continued flying. All she wanted was to be free, she didn’t need the reminder that she would have to return to the city of death soon.
Edited by Phenominal Phenominon, Feb 17 2011, 01:22 AM.
Hellebore's thoughts Phenominon's Thoughts
Hellebore talking. Phenominon Talking
Sick of crying
Tired of trying.
Yeah I'm smiling
But inside I'm dying.
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Imp of Chaos
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Description

It would be great if you could be a tad more descriptive – like when you say slender, do you mean stick thin, or with wiry muscles? Is she dark skinned or light skinned or somewhere in between?

History

This needs a lot of work. For a start it would be great if you could please read through it and fix small errors and whatnot that can just ruin the flow of the whole thing. It's not necessary but it is nice.

A few things I want to know: Why do the villagers hate weapons? Why – if this was a particularly peaceful village that was far removed from the violence of Shibusen did they resort to gangmob the small family and ruthlessly kill them? How did they find out in the first place? Why does the father think it is Phen's fault? Why did he keep her another four years, and where did they escape to and how did they escape?

Personality

please flesh this out a little bit. What do you mean when you say she 'likes to love people'?

This is the first mention of wings – I thought she only had these in weapon form?

Could you explain more about her rather than using generic descriptive words like loyal and polite? These attributes can mean different things to different people – for example is she loyal in that she would share her lunch money and do anything for everyone she meets, or loyal in that she would never cheat on her lover?

Is she kind and caring in a tough love kind of way where she hits people to help them learn lessons? What makes her tick? What makes her angry? Is she capable of anger?

This is also the first time you mentioned a skateboard, could you put it in somewhere else as well?

abilities

Soul perception needs to be added formally as an ability.

Fly away – please be more descriptive: how long does this last, how big are the wings, how much effort does it take, how heavy a weight can she carry, does it require a meister? – that sort of thing.

Partial transformation – Phen is only one sword not two – therefore she is not able to create two of herself on her body as this is a Death Scythe power.

Please can you add full transformation here.

Combat Style

you are missing a section from your profile please fix that.

misc

If she is an introvert who hates herself, is kind and thoughtful, and likes to love people – why does she like to make people upset and/or angry?

strengths/weaknesses

Why is she slow in partial transformation?

Could you mention elsewhere that she is clumsy?

Why does she have strength/stamina if she is a scrawny little thing and there is no mention of training either in the history nor the ability section?

Overall

this character needs a lot of work and it seems like you were in a hurry when you made it :P It would be great if you could try to pull it together for a bit more consistency and if you could elaborate more in your descriptions so that the reader knows exactly what you are talking about.
Edited by Imp of Chaos, Jan 24 2011, 04:57 AM.
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Will
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Phenominal Phenominon
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Okay, I took me a while, but I finally fixed it! :D History(in my opinion) is much more descriptive. and everything is as good as I could make it with the tips you gave me!

Love Phen :wub:
Hellebore's thoughts Phenominon's Thoughts
Hellebore talking. Phenominon Talking
Sick of crying
Tired of trying.
Yeah I'm smiling
But inside I'm dying.
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Imp of Chaos
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this is about ready to go ^__^ in abilities, could you tell me if she can fly using her partial transformation or if that is a weapon form only thing, and as a sword, can she fly without a meister?
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Will
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Phenominal Phenominon
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okay, finally. done. anything else? just tell me!

Thanks!

Love,

Phen
:wub:
Hellebore's thoughts Phenominon's Thoughts
Hellebore talking. Phenominon Talking
Sick of crying
Tired of trying.
Yeah I'm smiling
But inside I'm dying.
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Imp of Chaos
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Administrator - Gleefully Cruel
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ACCEPTED
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Will
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