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I longed to escape lonliness?
Topic Started: Feb 5 2009, 08:05 PM (1,007 Views)
DaisyLover

Yhitzak
Feb 9 2009, 09:43 AM
DaisyLover
Feb 9 2009, 09:32 AM
They were fun and we went places together and I have the best memories and I'm glad that they are on their own, independent and enjoying their own families.
My aunt made a comment to my mother a while back about how she was unique for raising her children to be independent people. My mother looked at her like she was an idiot (which she is) and said, "That's what ALL parents hope for!"

I think that the measure of a good parent is like the measure of a heart: A heart is judged not by how much you can love, but by how much you are loved by others. Heh. I came to this conclusion during my last therapy session. My shrink kept saying, "Tell me about your mother." I kept saying, "I've already *told* you about my mother and she's NOT the problem!"



I fear my kids finding out in therapy that their problems are because of me! :shrug:
Edited by DaisyLover, Feb 9 2009, 09:46 AM.
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Main Man
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Yhitzak
Feb 9 2009, 09:28 AM
I have a cat and she is... a totally spoiled little princess with my EXACT personality. I learned a long time ago that if I could do this to a *cat*, there is no justification for me ever wanting to breed. My children would be *so* weird...
As they say in the south,"He ain't right". And I am not talking about his politics.
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Gringa
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I raised my kids to be independent, too. Don't get me wrong, I am still very close to my kids - always have been but I never experienced empty nest syndrome.

DB, there is a big difference between having 2 kids and 4. Actually, I have said that you don't even know what it is like to be a parent until you have 3 - but, that statement is met with anger from people with less that 3 - so I don't say it any longer. Those with 3+ know what I am saying, though.
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Main Man
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Gringa
Feb 9 2009, 10:15 AM
I raised my kids to be independent, too. Don't get me wrong, I am still very close to my kids - always have been but I never experienced empty nest syndrome.

DB, there is a big difference between having 2 kids and 4. Actually, I have said that you don't even know what it is like to be a parent until you have 3 - but, that statement is met with anger from people with less that 3 - so I don't say it any longer. Those with 3+ know what I am saying, though.
Right on. Too many parents think it is all about them.

And you are right. My BIL and wife always say you aren't a parent till you are outnumbered. You're just practicing.
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DaisyLover

Now that's an interesting way to look at it Main Man - about being outnumbered.

Gringa - I'm thinking that I agree with you about 3 or more. I found it challenging especially since I am an only child and had NO concept of, or experience with sibling rivalry. Good thing Mr. DL came from a family of 7 kids - he understood. The NOISE was something that took alot of coping with.

I have a SIL - had one kid and told me that it was no different having 3 or having one! She was and STILL is clueless! :yikes:
Edited by DaisyLover, Feb 9 2009, 10:43 AM.
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Gringa
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Main Man
Feb 9 2009, 10:26 AM
Gringa
Feb 9 2009, 10:15 AM
I raised my kids to be independent, too. Don't get me wrong, I am still very close to my kids - always have been but I never experienced empty nest syndrome.

DB, there is a big difference between having 2 kids and 4. Actually, I have said that you don't even know what it is like to be a parent until you have 3 - but, that statement is met with anger from people with less that 3 - so I don't say it any longer. Those with 3+ know what I am saying, though.
Right on. Too many parents think it is all about them.

And you are right. My BIL and wife always say you aren't a parent till you are outnumbered. You're just practicing.
Exactly - outnumbered - that's the problem.... hahaha

My daughter had her first baby this past year. Little Miss Independent calls me 2 -3 times a week looking for advice. Little Miss Independent wants me to move back to Colorado because she "needs" me. HA! She wants me to move IN! HA! Sorry Charlie, you gotta do this on your own..... I am here, I will talk on the phone all you want, I will come visit and I will even gladly babysit, but if she thinks I am going to raise this baby - HA!

But, when it comes to this grandbaby, this is a whole nother story... my GOD, I miss her so much, She is just perfect, she is beautiful, sweet, smart and trying to be independent, too. I love her with all of my heart, total unconditional love.... I have never felt this before. I sure could see how grandparents could stick their noses and I sure could see grandmothers running home to move in.... but, nope, I won't. She and her husband need to do this.... not me.

Although when she was born, there was a week or two that I was afraid to leave - that poor baby left with these incompetent people! IF I could have packed her in my suitcase, I would have brought her to Mexico with me.... LOL
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dumblonde
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I figured out fast that with two boys we were already outnumbered! People kept asking if I'd try again for a girl. What? Were they insane?
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Gringa
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DaisyLover
Feb 9 2009, 10:41 AM
Now that's an interesting way to look at it Main Man - about being outnumbered.

Gringa - I'm thinking that I agree with you about 3 or more. I found it challenging especially since I am an only child and had NO concept of, or experience with sibling rivalry. Good thing Mr. DL came from a family of 7 kids - he understood. The NOISE was something that took alot of coping with.

I have a SIL - had one kid and told me that it was no different having 3 or having one! She was and STILL is clueless! :yikes:
Oh God, the noise..... we were in a house we built in Woodside and it was an open floor plan - main floor was the living, kitchen, dining and family room - all totally open and compact. IT was a great house, my most favorite house I have ever had - but we built and designed it when we had 2 small kids. Then number 3 came and then 4 and they got older and they would be in the family area playing video games + their friends. I would be cooking trying to watch the news on TV - the noise would bounce off of the vaulted ceiling and I thought I was going to have to be committed.... LOL

I woke up one day and said - we have to move..... and we did - 6 months later I found a house literally around the corner..... the noise was still high but at least it had a downstairs family room and a closed off kitchen were I could escape!!! I think it saved my life.
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dumblonde
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Gringa
Feb 9 2009, 10:55 AM
DaisyLover
Feb 9 2009, 10:41 AM
Now that's an interesting way to look at it Main Man - about being outnumbered.

Gringa - I'm thinking that I agree with you about 3 or more. I found it challenging especially since I am an only child and had NO concept of, or experience with sibling rivalry. Good thing Mr. DL came from a family of 7 kids - he understood. The NOISE was something that took alot of coping with.

I have a SIL - had one kid and told me that it was no different having 3 or having one! She was and STILL is clueless! :yikes:
Oh God, the noise..... we were in a house we built in Woodside and it was an open floor plan - main floor was the living, kitchen, dining and family room - all totally open and compact. IT was a great house, my most favorite house I have ever had - but we built and designed it when we had 2 small kids. Then number 3 came and then 4 and they got older and they would be in the family area playing video games + their friends. I would be cooking trying to watch the news on TV - the noise would bounce off of the vaulted ceiling and I thought I was going to have to be committed.... LOL

I woke up one day and said - we have to move..... and we did - 6 months later I found a house literally around the corner..... the noise was still high but at least it had a downstairs family room and a closed off kitchen were I could escape!!! I think it saved my life.
sigh. A family room.
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